To DEB/Re: Dr Ren [long]

[Guest guest]

Deb;

I'm so sorry about your unexpected outcome. Indeed you sound

so incredibly angry that it's no wonder you're having such a hard

time.

You wrote:

> with friends, yet I am not there, not all of me. I laugh, I talk, I

> come up with witty retorts, I attempt to focus on my studies

however

> my concentration is seemingly blown. I am not present to

anyone or

> thing, not really.

> I cry, at all times of the day and night, I am tormented

You sound like you may be clinically depressed. Do you see a

therapist? One owes it to themself to vigilently care for their own

mental health, particularly during periods of surgical

recuperation. The physical wounds are not all that needs to heal.

You went on to say:

>> " Exceptional patients want to know every detail of their x-ray

> reports. They want to know what every number in their lab test

means.

> A doctor that harnesses that intense self concern, instead of

> rejecting it and being to busy, dramitically improves the

patient's

> chances. "

> " Physicians must realize that the patients they consider difficult

or

> uncooperative are those most likely to get well.

Many years ago I too wanted to know what every single solitary

value meant on my medical tests. Finally I realized that I was

simply being overly pre-occupied with test results about which I

could do little. My role came in following my doctor's instructions

and asking enough questions so that I might understand why I

was being asked to do certain things. Pouring over x-rays and

lab tests like you describe just sounds oddly obsessed. I don't

mean to sound offensive; this really is something I used to do all

the time and can still relate to.

You went on to describe the profile for the most successful

cancer patient. I am impressed with your research but believe

there is little similarity between a cancer patient and a WLS

patient. A successful WLS patient gets on his or her feet almost

immediately after surgery and keeps moving. A successful WLS

patient also is disciplined at a new eating plan. The only similary

between WLS patients and cancer patients is that they both

probably take vitiamins. A cancer patient has as part of her

challenge, 'the enemy within'. That would be the cancer cells

themselves. I've read much of patients visualizing white light that

goes into their body and attacks the cancer cells. I can see how

the anger and feistiness you mentioned might support that.

Have you ever read any books by Norman Cousins? He is the

man who first legitimized the theory that laughter and humor help

bolster our immune system and subsequently to heal us. Oh

yes, he had cancer too but he wrote about laughter and humor.

He wrote about the absence of anger, hostility and negative

feelings. He wrote first hand about fighting depression.

Finally, you wrote:

The patient has the right to decide what will or will not be

> done to him or her. "

I am curious about who signed your 'Consent For Surgery

Form'? Your statement infers that you did not make a decision

and I can't believe that a hospital in this country would do elective

surgery on a patient without retaining a signed consent. Did

someone force you to sign it? Did you even read the consent?

If I understand you correctly, you had the BPD. I have a

suggestion for you. If you look back several pages of messages,

you'll find a message titled, 'What A Difference A Decade Makes'

by Sharon E. Stone. She had the BPD 10 years ago and her

current status is nothing short of remarkable. We should all do

so well as Sharon who's on a swim team training for a

Triathalon! While your reasons for having the BPD may be

entirely different, there's no reason you can't also have excellent

results.

Right now, it seems clear by what you say and the way you say it

that you are really stuck in your overwhelming anger at Dr. Ren.

Yet, in a post you made right after the surgery, you said

something that suggested the problem with the blood supply

could very well have been the result of a pre-existing condition. If

that's true, I can see why Dr. Ren can't tell you exactly WHY the

problem occurred; she wasn't inside your abdomen before

cutting on you so how would she know how something

happened that was already there?

Finally, you've mentioned several times about the investigation. If

this investigation is the result of your complaint, so be it. Just

because a dissatisfied customer makes a complaint, does not

mean it has merit. That's what the investigation is for. If there is

something wrong to be discovered, I genuinely hope things go

your way.

I'm sorry if it feels like I'm being harsh on you. I don't mean to

treat you that way. I'm just thinking that if you could get on with

your life and put the surgery behind you, you might be much

happier. Try therapy and go to a mini-spa. Get a facial, a

manicure, a massage and a mineral or mud soak! Your body will

love you for it.

Good luck and hugs to you ~

gobo

" Sometimes We Never Know How We Influence the Lives of

Others, Yet We Touch Those Lives Just the Same "