Depression

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/15/00 10:47:02 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

MiniGastricBypass (AT) e writes:

> Has anyone experienced depression after having surgery?

Yes, I have experienced a mild depression since the surgery. Especially

about weeks 3-4. I have had depression for years and take medication anyway.

I am feeling much better now, but it did scare me. It didn't get bad enough

to increase my medication, but I was very aware of it and careful about it.

I just lost interest for awhile in many things, including the list. I am

feeling stronger and more like myself every day.

Safe journey,

MGB 03 MAY 00

Safely on the other side!!!!

Dr. Rutledge clos.net

Self-funded company plan administered by Interactive Medical

Denied on appeal as an excluded benefit

Self Pay

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/15/00 10:47:02 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

MiniGastricBypass (AT) e writes:

> Has anyone experienced depression after having surgery?

Yes, I have experienced a mild depression since the surgery. Especially

about weeks 3-4. I have had depression for years and take medication anyway.

I am feeling much better now, but it did scare me. It didn't get bad enough

to increase my medication, but I was very aware of it and careful about it.

I just lost interest for awhile in many things, including the list. I am

feeling stronger and more like myself every day.

Safe journey,

MGB 03 MAY 00

Safely on the other side!!!!

Dr. Rutledge clos.net

Self-funded company plan administered by Interactive Medical

Denied on appeal as an excluded benefit

Self Pay

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/15/00 10:47:02 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

MiniGastricBypass (AT) e writes:

> Has anyone experienced depression after having surgery?

Yes, I have experienced a mild depression since the surgery. Especially

about weeks 3-4. I have had depression for years and take medication anyway.

I am feeling much better now, but it did scare me. It didn't get bad enough

to increase my medication, but I was very aware of it and careful about it.

I just lost interest for awhile in many things, including the list. I am

feeling stronger and more like myself every day.

Safe journey,

MGB 03 MAY 00

Safely on the other side!!!!

Dr. Rutledge clos.net

Self-funded company plan administered by Interactive Medical

Denied on appeal as an excluded benefit

Self Pay

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 06/16/2000 10:38:06 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

valmaboyz@... writes:

<< I am

feeling stronger and more like myself every day. >>

,

I am glad you are feeling better. I know what its like to be " very aware " .

Keep your chin up, you are on your way to a much better life!! Hoping to be

there to! Margie SC

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 06/16/2000 10:38:06 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

valmaboyz@... writes:

<< I am

feeling stronger and more like myself every day. >>

,

I am glad you are feeling better. I know what its like to be " very aware " .

Keep your chin up, you are on your way to a much better life!! Hoping to be

there to! Margie SC

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 06/16/2000 10:38:06 PM Eastern Daylight Time,

valmaboyz@... writes:

<< I am

feeling stronger and more like myself every day. >>

,

I am glad you are feeling better. I know what its like to be " very aware " .

Keep your chin up, you are on your way to a much better life!! Hoping to be

there to! Margie SC

[Guest guest]

Found in my email box from Colm O'Connor, clearly intended for public

display:

-=-=-=-=

Just a thought about self. An exercise to do for anyone. Take a

mirror and

hold it to yourself and look look look look look look look for 20,

30, 40,

minutes or hours until you see yourself through the eyes of those who

love

you. And then remember. See if you can hold the image. For do we

not all

look in a mirror and despise what we see because it is through our

own eyes.

TRY TO SEE OURSELVES THROUGH THE EYES OF THOSE WHO LOVE US. Struggle

with

that for a while he cried.

[Guest guest]

Found in my email box from Colm O'Connor, clearly intended for public

display:

-=-=-=-=

Just a thought about self. An exercise to do for anyone. Take a

mirror and

hold it to yourself and look look look look look look look for 20,

30, 40,

minutes or hours until you see yourself through the eyes of those who

love

you. And then remember. See if you can hold the image. For do we

not all

look in a mirror and despise what we see because it is through our

own eyes.

TRY TO SEE OURSELVES THROUGH THE EYES OF THOSE WHO LOVE US. Struggle

with

that for a while he cried.

[Guest guest]

Found in my email box from Colm O'Connor, clearly intended for public

display:

-=-=-=-=

Just a thought about self. An exercise to do for anyone. Take a

mirror and

hold it to yourself and look look look look look look look for 20,

30, 40,

minutes or hours until you see yourself through the eyes of those who

love

you. And then remember. See if you can hold the image. For do we

not all

look in a mirror and despise what we see because it is through our

own eyes.

TRY TO SEE OURSELVES THROUGH THE EYES OF THOSE WHO LOVE US. Struggle

with

that for a while he cried.

[Guest guest]

The good doctor is so correct! I began taking an anti-depressant in

December and I can't believe how much better I feel. It took a lot

of courage to go to the doctor and admit there could possibly be

something wrong. My problem was mostly anxiety but the low level

depression was there thats for sure. I was frequently tired, didn't

sleep well, couldn't keep an interest in things. I used to think:

where was the " me " that I once knew? I used to be so out-going with

a real zest for life - loved talking to people - I wasn't doing any

of those things any more - In fact sometimes I would go out of my

way to avoid contact with others unless I was forced to. I thought

maybe I had changed because I was getting older (I'm 55) but since

I've been taking Celexa I've found the " me " I thought I'd lost. Yes -

I still have rosacea but I don't stress about my face as much. I

care what I look like but I'm not losing sleep over it. I have a

zest for life again that I hadn't felt in a long time. Oh, I still

have problems, get angry over things and every day isn't a bed or

roses but it is a lot sunnier than it was a few months ago!

Sue

> Since the topic came up, I want to share two very important things

> about depression: (1) one of the symptoms of depression is a very

> strong desire not to seek treatment; it takes real medical insight

to

> resist the desire to curl up and hide, to understand that

depression

> is a disease, not a character flaw;(2) suicidal thoughts is a

common

> symptom of depression. By definition, depressed individuals feel a

> hopelessness that is not realistic. Treat depression, and the

whole

> world naturally brightens, everything becomes possible, and

rosacea

> becomes a manageable problem rather than something more. Resist

with

> all your power the seduction of suicidal thoughts, know with

> certainty that that such thoughts are part of a disease and not

part

> of reality -- and seek good professional help.

>

> But clinical depression is not just feeling sad every now and

again,

> or feeling frustrated every now and again, about rosacea or

anything

> else. Let's not overdiagnose, lest we become a Prozac support

group

> .

>

> Marjorie

>

> Marjorie Lazoff, MD

[Guest guest]

The good doctor is so correct! I began taking an anti-depressant in

December and I can't believe how much better I feel. It took a lot

of courage to go to the doctor and admit there could possibly be

something wrong. My problem was mostly anxiety but the low level

depression was there thats for sure. I was frequently tired, didn't

sleep well, couldn't keep an interest in things. I used to think:

where was the " me " that I once knew? I used to be so out-going with

a real zest for life - loved talking to people - I wasn't doing any

of those things any more - In fact sometimes I would go out of my

way to avoid contact with others unless I was forced to. I thought

maybe I had changed because I was getting older (I'm 55) but since

I've been taking Celexa I've found the " me " I thought I'd lost. Yes -

I still have rosacea but I don't stress about my face as much. I

care what I look like but I'm not losing sleep over it. I have a

zest for life again that I hadn't felt in a long time. Oh, I still

have problems, get angry over things and every day isn't a bed or

roses but it is a lot sunnier than it was a few months ago!

Sue

> Since the topic came up, I want to share two very important things

> about depression: (1) one of the symptoms of depression is a very

> strong desire not to seek treatment; it takes real medical insight

to

> resist the desire to curl up and hide, to understand that

depression

> is a disease, not a character flaw;(2) suicidal thoughts is a

common

> symptom of depression. By definition, depressed individuals feel a

> hopelessness that is not realistic. Treat depression, and the

whole

> world naturally brightens, everything becomes possible, and

rosacea

> becomes a manageable problem rather than something more. Resist

with

> all your power the seduction of suicidal thoughts, know with

> certainty that that such thoughts are part of a disease and not

part

> of reality -- and seek good professional help.

>

> But clinical depression is not just feeling sad every now and

again,

> or feeling frustrated every now and again, about rosacea or

anything

> else. Let's not overdiagnose, lest we become a Prozac support

group

> .

>

> Marjorie

>

> Marjorie Lazoff, MD

[Guest guest]

The good doctor is so correct! I began taking an anti-depressant in

December and I can't believe how much better I feel. It took a lot

of courage to go to the doctor and admit there could possibly be

something wrong. My problem was mostly anxiety but the low level

depression was there thats for sure. I was frequently tired, didn't

sleep well, couldn't keep an interest in things. I used to think:

where was the " me " that I once knew? I used to be so out-going with

a real zest for life - loved talking to people - I wasn't doing any

of those things any more - In fact sometimes I would go out of my

way to avoid contact with others unless I was forced to. I thought

maybe I had changed because I was getting older (I'm 55) but since

I've been taking Celexa I've found the " me " I thought I'd lost. Yes -

I still have rosacea but I don't stress about my face as much. I

care what I look like but I'm not losing sleep over it. I have a

zest for life again that I hadn't felt in a long time. Oh, I still

have problems, get angry over things and every day isn't a bed or

roses but it is a lot sunnier than it was a few months ago!

Sue

> Since the topic came up, I want to share two very important things

> about depression: (1) one of the symptoms of depression is a very

> strong desire not to seek treatment; it takes real medical insight

to

> resist the desire to curl up and hide, to understand that

depression

> is a disease, not a character flaw;(2) suicidal thoughts is a

common

> symptom of depression. By definition, depressed individuals feel a

> hopelessness that is not realistic. Treat depression, and the

whole

> world naturally brightens, everything becomes possible, and

rosacea

> becomes a manageable problem rather than something more. Resist

with

> all your power the seduction of suicidal thoughts, know with

> certainty that that such thoughts are part of a disease and not

part

> of reality -- and seek good professional help.

>

> But clinical depression is not just feeling sad every now and

again,

> or feeling frustrated every now and again, about rosacea or

anything

> else. Let's not overdiagnose, lest we become a Prozac support

group

> .

>

> Marjorie

>

> Marjorie Lazoff, MD

[Guest guest]

Hi Sue & All,

Your post sounds exactly like me! I too started Paxil at the beginning of

February and the change in my attitude is 100%. I too felt like doing

nothing and obsessed about my face constantly. My family thought I was crazy

as they could never see much... Anyways the Paxil, going to a therapist, my

acceptance of the disease, my efforts to make it managagle and my increased

spirituality have all helped tremendously. I feel like me again, I am

playing tennis again, socializing again, etc. etc. I would urge anyone who

is feeling obsessed and depressed to give anti depressents a try. Oh I

also started on prempo (hormone replacement) which have helped a lot with the

" HEAT " and flushes.

Best wishes to all,

Elena

[Guest guest]

Hi Sue & All,

Your post sounds exactly like me! I too started Paxil at the beginning of

February and the change in my attitude is 100%. I too felt like doing

nothing and obsessed about my face constantly. My family thought I was crazy

as they could never see much... Anyways the Paxil, going to a therapist, my

acceptance of the disease, my efforts to make it managagle and my increased

spirituality have all helped tremendously. I feel like me again, I am

playing tennis again, socializing again, etc. etc. I would urge anyone who

is feeling obsessed and depressed to give anti depressents a try. Oh I

also started on prempo (hormone replacement) which have helped a lot with the

" HEAT " and flushes.

Best wishes to all,

Elena

[Guest guest]

Hi Sue & All,

Your post sounds exactly like me! I too started Paxil at the beginning of

February and the change in my attitude is 100%. I too felt like doing

nothing and obsessed about my face constantly. My family thought I was crazy

as they could never see much... Anyways the Paxil, going to a therapist, my

acceptance of the disease, my efforts to make it managagle and my increased

spirituality have all helped tremendously. I feel like me again, I am

playing tennis again, socializing again, etc. etc. I would urge anyone who

is feeling obsessed and depressed to give anti depressents a try. Oh I

also started on prempo (hormone replacement) which have helped a lot with the

" HEAT " and flushes.

Best wishes to all,

Elena

[Guest guest]

I've debated posting this, but I don't understand what anti-

depressants will do for someone who has a progressive disfiguring

disease and for whom NO topicals are significantly effective so oral

antibiotics have been used for four years. What will they do for

chronic, painful swelling? What will they do for huge painful bumps?

What we need are good derms and good meds.

> Hi Sue & All,

>

> Your post sounds exactly like me! I too started Paxil at the

beginning of

> February and the change in my attitude is 100%. I too felt like

doing

> nothing and obsessed about my face constantly. My family thought I

was crazy

> as they could never see much... Anyways the Paxil, going to a

therapist, my

> acceptance of the disease, my efforts to make it managagle and my

increased

> spirituality have all helped tremendously. I feel like me again,

I am

> playing tennis again, socializing again, etc. etc. I would urge

anyone who

> is feeling obsessed and depressed to give anti depressents a

try. Oh I

> also started on prempo (hormone replacement) which have helped a

lot with the

> " HEAT " and flushes.

>

> Best wishes to all,

> Elena

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Well, I'm not sure the anti-depressants will do anything to manage the

disease, although, it could be argued that continual stress is a trigger for

many and may make the disease symptoms worse. I know that, for me, the

paxil, as well as the other things that I mention in my previous post, have

helped me to accept, manage and live with rosacea. All of us have

different symptons and I know that some are much worse than others. Some

symptoms may be so severe that maybe anti-depressants won't help at all.

They have helped me and I wanted to share that with the group.

Yes, we need good derms, good meds and good treatments, but that, at the

moment, at least for some of us, seems to be wishful thinking.

Take care,

Elena

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Well, I'm not sure the anti-depressants will do anything to manage the

disease, although, it could be argued that continual stress is a trigger for

many and may make the disease symptoms worse. I know that, for me, the

paxil, as well as the other things that I mention in my previous post, have

helped me to accept, manage and live with rosacea. All of us have

different symptons and I know that some are much worse than others. Some

symptoms may be so severe that maybe anti-depressants won't help at all.

They have helped me and I wanted to share that with the group.

Yes, we need good derms, good meds and good treatments, but that, at the

moment, at least for some of us, seems to be wishful thinking.

Take care,

Elena

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Well, I'm not sure the anti-depressants will do anything to manage the

disease, although, it could be argued that continual stress is a trigger for

many and may make the disease symptoms worse. I know that, for me, the

paxil, as well as the other things that I mention in my previous post, have

helped me to accept, manage and live with rosacea. All of us have

different symptons and I know that some are much worse than others. Some

symptoms may be so severe that maybe anti-depressants won't help at all.

They have helped me and I wanted to share that with the group.

Yes, we need good derms, good meds and good treatments, but that, at the

moment, at least for some of us, seems to be wishful thinking.

Take care,

Elena

[Guest guest]

Hi Cathy. I've been suffering from depression for nearly four years now. Every

time I have the slightest setback, I spiral downward. I think that it makes

perfect sense for people with FM or CFS to have depression. I can't see how a

person would be happy living like we do. I can't make plans a day in advance

because I never know how I'm going to feel. I'm struggling through school very

slowly, and that just makes me even more depressed. The depression is treatable

for some people. Talk to your therapist, if he/she is a psychiatrist, about

trying an anti-depressant. Mood affects your health, so if the depression is

even slightly lifted, you could start feeling a little bit better.

If you're able to, find somewhere you can work or volunteer even one day a week.

Just getting out of the house and being around people helps me sometimes. It's

also a good way to meet people with similar interests. And yes, if you do find

someone, he'll have to take care of you one day. And if you grow old together,

chances are you'll be taking care of each other. No one stays healthy their

entire lives. And no one should be expected to.

There are good people out there who are selfless enough to look beyond physical

problems, and see you for who you are. I know that sounds like something out of

a fairy tale, but I happen to have found someone who loves me beyond all reason.

That and I'm in a very sappy mood tonight. Sorry. =) It can happen, you just

have to love yourself enough to let someone love you and for you to love him in

return. Having a shoulder to cry on and someone to bring you soup when you're

at your worst can be a real boost.

Good luck and sorry to go on for so long.

I've seen many different posts regarding meds, specific injuries,

illnesses, etc., but I'd like to know how many deal with depression.

There is no rhyme or reason to this illness and the age and specifics

differ from person to person.

I am 48 years old, was diagnosed with FM and CFS in 1997, had to quit

work in 99. I'm an empty nester-son - 21 and daughter - 23, moved out

in August of 2000 and I live alone. I find I have bouts of depression,

especially when I'm in pain or when I'm so tired I can barely move off

the sofa. I'm seeing a therapist, but can't see her every week because

of lack of money. Some days I don't even leave the apartment because

I'm too tired. I get depressed about anything and sometimes

everything. I've always wanted to get re-married. I raised my kids

alone from the ages of 2 1/2 and 4 months old. Dating while raising

them was difficult, so I put that on hold until my kids were older.

Well, they got older and I got FM and CFS and don't go out much. I

wasn't able to find a mate when I was younger, thinner and healthy, I

guess I can forget about ever finding someone now. Who would want to

start a relationship knowing he might have to take care of me?

How do you all deal with depression? Do you think you got the

depression after the fibro, because of the fibro or even had depression

before Fibro?

I've been to (far too) many doctors. I was sent to a neurologist about

a year ago. I started having tremors and my PCP said I had

Parkinsonism. Of course, this freaked me out. My rheumatologist was

nice enough to calm my fears and say I should see a neurologist and said

" Parkinsonism " is a term that really isn't used anymore and my PCP

shouldn't have said that. In seeing the neurologist, he assured me that

I didn't have Parkinsons Disease. I told him about my fibromyalgia and

he said that Fibromyalgia is depression manifesting itself in the

muscles. How weird is that? I'm glad I didn't have to go back to him.

I'm curious to know how you all deal with this.

Koala-t hugs,

Cathy

[Guest guest]

> I find I have bouts of depression,

>especially when I'm in pain or when I'm so tired I can barely move off

>the sofa. I'm seeing a therapist, but can't see her every week because

>of lack of money. Some days I don't even leave the apartment because

>I'm too tired. I get depressed about anything and sometimes

>everything. I've always wanted to get re-married. I raised my kids

>alone from the ages of 2 1/2 and 4 months old. Dating while raising

>them was difficult, so I put that on hold until my kids were older.

>Well, they got older and I got FM and CFS and don't go out much. I

>wasn't able to find a mate when I was younger, thinner and healthy, I

>guess I can forget about ever finding someone now. Who would want to

>start a relationship knowing he might have to take care of me?

Hi Cathy,

I was really moved by your post, maybe because I struggle with

depression a lot myself, and have lived that fear of someone not

wanting to be in a relationship with me because of my illness.

Of all the various aches, pains and syndromes I have, depression is

the worst. It erodes the very energy, hope and spark I need in order

to function with, and manage all the rest. I've had major depression

on and off since I was about 15, for about 35 years now. So I've

picked up a few tricks which I hope I won't be too long-winded about

but it is a very complex subject....

One of the things I learned early on was that there was a pattern to

the episodes and that recognizing that pattern could help me keep in

perspective that this was an illness and could be managed. Also I

learned to work with the pattern as it progressed. The four things

I've found help me the most: when it starts, make medication

changes right away (more about that later); begin a new creative

project; increase aerobic exercise; and pray and meditate a lot.

I'm sure everyone's pattern is different but this is the one that I

seem to follow. First I notice an increase in physical pain coupled

with a gradual loss of physical energy and motivation; at the same

time physical pain increases and there is a sensation that I am

turning my attention from the world outside my head to the one inside

of it. The next step: intensifying feelings of despair,

self-loathing, and hopelessness. The very sense of existence hurts,

which is very hard to describe--I start to feel a sharp almost

physical pain in my soul or heart or sense of self--whatever you want

to call it. Brain fog and a sense of detachment from the world

around me become intense--I feel almost autistic. During all this,

of course I'm not doing what I need to be doing, such as paying my

bills, cleaning my house, making it to work--so undone tasks add to

my sense of being utterly overwhelmed. I become immobilized. Soon I

find myself thinking about death more and more often, as a viable way

to end the pain. Next come thoughts of actively ending my life and

wishing I could do so without hurting the people around me. After

that, I start thinking of ways to disguise it as an accident.

At this point, having given up the fight, and with it all my

worries, life itself begins to seem extraordinarily beautiful and

intense--a very spiritual feeling as though I have one foot in this

world, and one foot in the next and there's not much difference

between the two. Something has always kicked in at that point,

either my medication finally takes hold, or something or someone from

the outside world reaches me. Or sometimes, it is just because life

has been revealed in its beautiful simplicity and that takes away

some of the pain because I realize I don't have to become suicidal to

feel a sense of spiritual peace.

The feeling of something " kicking in " is a gradual increase of

energy, exactly the opposite of what I feel as I'm starting to go

into the depression. For this reason, depression in part seems like

a defect in my body's energy systems--starting with physical activity

and spreading like a wave into mood, thoughts and feelings. So the

way I try to prevent it is to try to pay attention to

energy--actively trying to build it up while simultaneously trying to

avoid situations that tear it down. It's also very important to try

to control physical pain because being in chronic pain can't help but

lower your energy and depress your mood. There is also that spiritual

component to it, the recognition that I'm not living my life in a way

that enables me to feel spiritually connected and at peace. So I try

to work towards that as well--meditation, prayer, reading, helping

someone else, spending lots of time in nature. These are

preventatives, though and sometimes when I'm really depressed, I

don't have the hope or motivation to try much. That's why it's

really important, as soon as it starts to make itself known, that I

make a medication change. I just pulled out of my most recent

depression by adding Wellbutrin and reducing the amount of Zoloft I

take. (Fortunately, I have a neurologist who doesn't get upset if I

make suggestions.)

Now I'm making another stab at the vitamin and supplement route,

with an aim towards increasing my chemical energy (something we don't

have enough of anyway with fibro or CFS). Ultimately, I know if I

could build up to it, a daily work-out at the gym would go a long way

towards keeping the depression away. The reason I know this is

because I had about 4 years free from depression and anti-depressants

when I was working out every day--but then I injured myself lifting a

suitcase and had to have back surgery and never got back into the

routine. But there are other things that energize as well--like

spending time with friends or doing something new or starting a

creative project.

Trying to come out of a depression is like saving yourself from

drowning by grabbing your own hair to pull your nose above

water--it's really really hard. No matter how often I go through it,

it still boils down to making it from one day to the next. One hour

at a time. Making little stabs at breaking the cycle. Photographing

something. Calling someone.

I've written so much already, I shouldn't tie up any more space or

time, but I did want to comment on your fear of not finding someone

who would be willing to accept you, illnesses and all. My ex-husband

couldn't and the man in my life now just went through some real soul

searching while he tried to decide if he could deal with it. He

decided he could, thank God. And so did my ex who came back after

two years of frantic dating and the singles world to let me know that

everyone had something they needed and something they could give. My

ex and I had other problems and I have someone else in my life

anyway--we're not getting back together. But the point is you

shouldn't give up on this. There are men who don't find it that

impossible or unrewarding to have a partner who is ill, not if she is

giving him what he needs in some other arena. (And reverse the

genders and it's still true). Also, it's true that some people see an

ill spouse as a handicap but there are a lot of stories out there

about people who are inspired and energized by their mate's strength

in the face of chronic illness. Keep your head up.

As for your neurologist: how does he know that fibro is depression

manifesting itself in the muscles? Couldn't it be that depression is

fibro manifesting itself in the brain? It's all connected so maybe

there are some similar mechanisms happening. Grrrr. I hate it when

doctors imply something is in your mind (i.e. brain) and therefore

less real. As if the brain is a second class citizen or something.

Sorry so long winded,

Margaret

>

>How do you all deal with depression? Do you think you got the

>depression after the fibro, because of the fibro or even had depression

>before Fibro?

>

>I've been to (far too) many doctors. I was sent to a neurologist about

>a year ago. I started having tremors and my PCP said I had

>Parkinsonism. Of course, this freaked me out. My rheumatologist was

>nice enough to calm my fears and say I should see a neurologist and said

> " Parkinsonism " is a term that really isn't used anymore and my PCP

>shouldn't have said that. In seeing the neurologist, he assured me that

>I didn't have Parkinsons Disease. I told him about my fibromyalgia and

>he said that Fibromyalgia is depression manifesting itself in the

>muscles. How weird is that? I'm glad I didn't have to go back to him.

>

>I'm curious to know how you all deal with this.

>

>Koala-t hugs,

>

>Cathy

>

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Margaret,

Thanks for your post. I appreciate you taking the time to post your

input.

One of the major problems I have with depression is I have serious side

effects with antidepressants. I have had tremors, vision blurring,

heart palpitations, more fatigue that I start out with, and one time, I

ended up in the ER because I woke up after taking a med at bed time and

I was out of it and my speech was slurred like I was drunk out of my

mind.

My depression tends to coincide when I am feeling worse physically.

When I have pain and fatigue that keeps me indoors, I feel hopeless and

useless. I do get out, I have friends, I am in a FMS support group -

where I made many friends too. I see my son and daughter on a pretty

regular basis (they are great kids). I tried volunteer work and did it

for a few months, but I had a hard time keeping up with it - even though

it was only one day a week. I enjoy sewing, crafts (I sewed my own and

my daughter's clothes for years - I'm making her wedding dress for next

year, and I also make teddy bears - when I have the strength and energy.

I have not made one in over 6 months) Its frustrating - wanting to make

something, work on a project or create a bear, but being so tired, I can

barely keep my eyes open and feeling like my arms are lead weights.

I do different things that I enjoy, but there are times the depression

gets the best of me. I do think at times, my family would be better off

without me, but I know I could never take my own life. I lost a friend

many years ago, who was so depressed, finally gave up and walked infront

of a train. She left two daughters and many friends, wondering why and

angry for her giving up. I know what its like to be left behind after a

suicide, and I know I could never do that to my family and friends.

Sometimes the depression is a feeling of being trapped - I can't change

my life, yet, i wouldn't take the escape of suicide.

Best thing I do is to take one day at a time... I'm glad you found

someone who understands your illness... I wouldn't even know where to

start to meet someone. That is one thing I am not very hopeful about.

Thanks for helping.

Koala-t hugs,

Cathy

[Guest guest]

Hi Margaret,

Thanks for your post. I appreciate you taking the time to post your

input.

One of the major problems I have with depression is I have serious side

effects with antidepressants. I have had tremors, vision blurring,

heart palpitations, more fatigue that I start out with, and one time, I

ended up in the ER because I woke up after taking a med at bed time and

I was out of it and my speech was slurred like I was drunk out of my

mind.

My depression tends to coincide when I am feeling worse physically.

When I have pain and fatigue that keeps me indoors, I feel hopeless and

useless. I do get out, I have friends, I am in a FMS support group -

where I made many friends too. I see my son and daughter on a pretty

regular basis (they are great kids). I tried volunteer work and did it

for a few months, but I had a hard time keeping up with it - even though

it was only one day a week. I enjoy sewing, crafts (I sewed my own and

my daughter's clothes for years - I'm making her wedding dress for next

year, and I also make teddy bears - when I have the strength and energy.

I have not made one in over 6 months) Its frustrating - wanting to make

something, work on a project or create a bear, but being so tired, I can

barely keep my eyes open and feeling like my arms are lead weights.

I do different things that I enjoy, but there are times the depression

gets the best of me. I do think at times, my family would be better off

without me, but I know I could never take my own life. I lost a friend

many years ago, who was so depressed, finally gave up and walked infront

of a train. She left two daughters and many friends, wondering why and

angry for her giving up. I know what its like to be left behind after a

suicide, and I know I could never do that to my family and friends.

Sometimes the depression is a feeling of being trapped - I can't change

my life, yet, i wouldn't take the escape of suicide.

Best thing I do is to take one day at a time... I'm glad you found

someone who understands your illness... I wouldn't even know where to

start to meet someone. That is one thing I am not very hopeful about.

Thanks for helping.

Koala-t hugs,

Cathy

[Guest guest]

I have noticed a correlation between how I feel and the weather. Sometimes

its physically how I feel, but also mentally. Gloomy, cloudy days are just

so depressing. I noticed the last few days (since it has been sunny) that I

have the same pains, but seem to tolerate everything better.

a in WA

Depression

>

> I've noticed alot of letters on depression lately posted. I to seem to

> run in shifts of mentally feeling o.k, to feeling my-self real down.

> I've been holding back the tears alot around others, until im alone, and

> then i stop myself from crying as i no i will only tire myself out more

> then i already am. I think it is the chiari, i feel that many of us

> expect to feel better after surgery and may for awhile, but as time

> continues and for some symptoms start showing up again, in my case it is

> worse then before surgery, it pulls us down. Today has really been that

> for me i cannot put my finger on it exactly, but it has been a down day.

> Anyways thats my in-put, there are always the good days. Take care to

> all Sheila

>

>

> Help section: http://www.yahoogroups.com/help/

>

> NOTE: NCC refers to posts with No Chiari Content

>

> To Unsubscribe Yourself:

> chiari-unsubscribe

>

> WACMA Home: Http://www.wacma.com

>

> WACMA Online Group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/chiari/

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I have noticed a correlation between how I feel and the weather. Sometimes

its physically how I feel, but also mentally. Gloomy, cloudy days are just

so depressing. I noticed the last few days (since it has been sunny) that I

have the same pains, but seem to tolerate everything better.

a in WA

Depression

>

> I've noticed alot of letters on depression lately posted. I to seem to

> run in shifts of mentally feeling o.k, to feeling my-self real down.

> I've been holding back the tears alot around others, until im alone, and

> then i stop myself from crying as i no i will only tire myself out more

> then i already am. I think it is the chiari, i feel that many of us

> expect to feel better after surgery and may for awhile, but as time

> continues and for some symptoms start showing up again, in my case it is

> worse then before surgery, it pulls us down. Today has really been that

> for me i cannot put my finger on it exactly, but it has been a down day.

> Anyways thats my in-put, there are always the good days. Take care to

> all Sheila

>

>

> Help section: http://www.yahoogroups.com/help/

>

> NOTE: NCC refers to posts with No Chiari Content

>

> To Unsubscribe Yourself:

> chiari-unsubscribe

>

> WACMA Home: Http://www.wacma.com

>

> WACMA Online Group: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/chiari/

>

>

>