Grocery store performances

[Guest guest]

Oh Nan I love that story!!! I'm so glad we can all laugh at

ourselves (well, and eachother too).

Last summer I was in the big middle of a very hectic day. I

stopped at Taco bell, snarfed down a taco then went on a quick

grocery run.

I was standing in line to pay, when I notice the husband of the

lady in fron of me openly staring at my breasts. Really staring.

Shocked,I tried to maintain my cool, and finally stared right back

trying to quietly confront his behavior. The minutes ticked by. But

he was undaunted, his eyes were locked. Furious, I proceded through

the line, and when I looked down to write my check I noticed a bright

red diced tomato clinging to my black shirt. It looked like a big

red nipple. It just hung there, defying gravity. The young mail

cashier noticed it at the same time I did. He turned red, and after

I picked it off and stood there wondering just what to do with it, he

muttered a " umm, I uh... " , and held out his hand to take it. I

handed it to him, and in his nervousness he thanked me, and I

said " you're welcome " like it was normal or something. I half

expected him to put it on the scale, weigh it and charge me...It was

so awkward.

Oh well, somebody has to keep the shoppers entertained. May as

well be us!

Meli

BMI 47

Dr Hess

June 21,01

Summer Solstice

- In duodenalswitch@y..., leafyleaves@a... wrote:

> ROFLOL X 100 ! I am sitting here with tears rolling down my face

and having a

> hard time breathing for laughing so hard. Grocery stores ... that

reminds me

> Many Many moons ago h had lost something like 60 pounds (Atkins, I

think) and

> I was feeling pretty spry in a bright blue dress. I cruised into

the Grocery

> store on my home from work (very busy time in the store, lines

everywhere)

> and I am negotiating my way along the front from the door over to

the vegie

> section in search of a celebratory salad (Atkins about to fail ).

As I am

> trucking along, I feel a strange sensation -- the hem of my skirt

seems to be

> hitting lower and lower on my leg. I look down. Not the skirt.

MY SLIP has

> Slipped down and about a foot of white lacey petticoat is hanging

below the

> nice blue dress. Too far gone to hitch back up with some deft

twitching and

> wiggling at the waist, and between weight loss and elastic failure,

there is

> nothing to be done. Still feeling spry and cleaver-- I think, I

will just

> step out of the slip and stuff it in my hand bag real quick. I stop

in an

> open space between two lines. I deftly pull my right foot out of

the slip.

> I bend over and grab the slip whilst I prepare to liberate the left

foot. I

> attempt to gather slip up. Something is wrong. The slip is not

coming up.

> OH NOO! I am hopping up and down, the dang thing caught on the

heel of my

> left shoe. RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MARKET IN THE EVENING RUSH

HOUR A 200

> POUND WOMAN IN A BRIGHT BLUE DRESS IS HOPPING UP AND DOWN TUGGING A

WHITE

> LACY PETTICOAT WHICH IS CAUGHT ON THE HEEL OF HER SHOE. Can you

say

> " inconspicuous " ? NOT! I finally realize my efforts to pull the

slip up are

> the problem. I drop the slip, and step over it. I then pick it up

and stuff

> it in my purse. I then look the three people who are dead in

front of me

> and staring in the eyes and say as perkily as possible " how

embarrassing! "

> and haul off as fast as I can without calling more attention to

myself for

> the salad.

> I really do recommend 1) taking stock of the condition of the

elastic in

> undergarments as you loose weight and doing the mending and taking

up in a

> timely manner; and 2) taking acting improv classes. One can almost

carry off

> these little contretemps of every day life with panache, or the

appearance

> thereof, when you accept there is no quick way out, and you need a

good line

> to exit on.

> I will recount my adventure with the rain, the man hole cover and

the

> stranger forced to help the MO woman at the art museum in the near

future.

> Nan E. (spreading sunshine and lacy petticoats wherever she goes)