Re: 3 years and everything has changed

August 5, 2005

-Francisco: You are perhaps one of the wisest people that I have had

the pleasure of reading....that bit about courage being not the lack

of fear but the walking through it to get what you want---

marvelous!!!! With your permission, I would like to adopt this as my

new mantra.....Thank you for enlightening me in this

fashion....Yours, Tamara-- In gastric-bypass-support-kaiser-

patients , " Francisco " wrote:

> Hello everyone:

>

> A dear friend of mine for 24 years is in the beginning stages of

> getting approved for gastric bypass surgery. She wrote me today to

> tell me that she's starting the process, and here is my message to

> her. Hopefully, it will help any of you newbies out there:

>

> *****

>

> OMG! Congratulations! It is SOOOOOO coincidental that you deliver

> this news to me today. Three years ago today, I went to my PCP to

be

> referred to Kaiser's bariatric program. I know that this is not

for

> everyone, but when you decide it's for you, you will have my

support

> regardless of where this path takes you.

>

> Yes, of course, you can count on me to answer any questions you

might

> have. And if you want someone to attend a support group meeting

with

> you (as a support person), I'd be happy to do so.

>

> You know, my journey has been such an odyssey. Everything,

> everything has changed in my life. It's not been easy, but I am so

> worth it. And I know that you are too. You will have to accept

> that: nothing in your life will change except everything.

>

> Be prepared for opposition because you are confronting an issue

that

> runs deep with overweight people, particularly the morbidly obese.

I

> lost 3 friends (all morbidly obese), but I gained so much more. My

> life is full in ways I only dreamed of: square dancing, marathon

> training, church activities, dates, dates and more dates. I'm not

> afraid to connect with new people. While I'm not the life of the

> party (that's not my style), I look forward to dates and

connections

> as an opportunity to connect with others. If someone doesn't like

> me, oh well, no problem; I still like me. And the connections I

have

> to others is what bring me joy. I no longer live in the isolation

> imposed by myself. I am no longer a prisoner to my own body. I am

> free. My life used to center around chores and TV. Now I have no

> time for TV because my life is more interesting than anything on

TV.

> Chores now take a fraction of the time because I have so much more

> energy.

>

> And regarding dates, you're going to need to get a grip on one

> thing. You are beautiful as you are, right now. However, as you

get

> closer to society's ideal, I think men will pay more attention to

you

> than you might be used to (it's happened to me in a big way). Your

> beauty will increase because you'll feel so wonderful physically

and

> emotionally. My PCP said that as I got closer to goal weight, I

> became radiant. It's the glow of good health and self love. The

> combination is all-empowering. It still doesn't register to me

that

> I'm " all that. " I've never judged myself based on appearance. But

> lots of men see something in me that isn't common. You've got it

> too: courage. And courage is not the absence of fear; it's walking

> through that fear to get what you want.

>

> I can't believe how many dates I've been on in the months since

Zach

> and I broke up (did I forget to tell you that and I broke

> up?....anyway...). I'm currently dating a doctor (Joe), a lawyer

> (Don), a PR exec (), and Mark (heath care researcher). Don has

> been amazing and is making me think long and hard about where I

want

> to be in a few years. He's been hitting all the right notes, and

> he's told me he's looking for someone to co-parent a child with

him.

> He's just starting the process of international adoption, but that

> will take a few years. Since we've started seeing each other, he's

> shown me his home (OMG, like a museum--original artwork, tapestries

> and paintings throughout, so stylish) and we've had long

> conversations about the future. He treats me wonderfully, and pays

> attention to the little details like holding my hand under the

table

> or touching the small of my back as we walk. He's also talked

about

> cutting down the number of hours he works to more fully devote time

> to a partner and a child.

>

> I've always wanted a child, but Zach would not consider it. With

> Don, it would be financially do-able to raise a child in the way

I'd

> want to. (God, how would I restrain myself from spoiling her

> rotten?) However, I still need some time because I want to be

single

> and (for lack of a better way to express it) play the field for a

> while. But never in a million years did I think that I'd have

these

> kind of opportunities just three years ago. Who would have

believed

> that I'd run a half marathon? I never would have believed that I'd

> enjoy running. Me? A runner? But it's now true.

>

> Freedom will bring you joy and challenges that you cannot yet

> anticipate. However, it will be the best thing you ever did for

> yourself. As a wise psychologist said to me, " The price of freedom

> is dear, but its fruit is delicious. " And baby, it's high time I

> tasted some of that fruit. It's high time you did too.

>

> Best of luck to you. As always, you're in my prayers.

>

> ****

>

> Thanks for reading, people. I hope you're all doing well.

>

> Francisco

August 5, 2005

-Francisco: You are perhaps one of the wisest people that I have had

the pleasure of reading....that bit about courage being not the lack

of fear but the walking through it to get what you want---

marvelous!!!! With your permission, I would like to adopt this as my

new mantra.....Thank you for enlightening me in this

fashion....Yours, Tamara-- In gastric-bypass-support-kaiser-

patients , " Francisco " wrote:

> Hello everyone:

>

> A dear friend of mine for 24 years is in the beginning stages of

> getting approved for gastric bypass surgery. She wrote me today to

> tell me that she's starting the process, and here is my message to

> her. Hopefully, it will help any of you newbies out there:

>

> *****

>

> OMG! Congratulations! It is SOOOOOO coincidental that you deliver

> this news to me today. Three years ago today, I went to my PCP to

be

> referred to Kaiser's bariatric program. I know that this is not

for

> everyone, but when you decide it's for you, you will have my

support

> regardless of where this path takes you.

>

> Yes, of course, you can count on me to answer any questions you

might

> have. And if you want someone to attend a support group meeting

with

> you (as a support person), I'd be happy to do so.

>

> You know, my journey has been such an odyssey. Everything,

> everything has changed in my life. It's not been easy, but I am so

> worth it. And I know that you are too. You will have to accept

> that: nothing in your life will change except everything.

>

> Be prepared for opposition because you are confronting an issue

that

> runs deep with overweight people, particularly the morbidly obese.

I

> lost 3 friends (all morbidly obese), but I gained so much more. My

> life is full in ways I only dreamed of: square dancing, marathon

> training, church activities, dates, dates and more dates. I'm not

> afraid to connect with new people. While I'm not the life of the

> party (that's not my style), I look forward to dates and

connections

> as an opportunity to connect with others. If someone doesn't like

> me, oh well, no problem; I still like me. And the connections I

have

> to others is what bring me joy. I no longer live in the isolation

> imposed by myself. I am no longer a prisoner to my own body. I am

> free. My life used to center around chores and TV. Now I have no

> time for TV because my life is more interesting than anything on

TV.

> Chores now take a fraction of the time because I have so much more

> energy.

>

> And regarding dates, you're going to need to get a grip on one

> thing. You are beautiful as you are, right now. However, as you

get

> closer to society's ideal, I think men will pay more attention to

you

> than you might be used to (it's happened to me in a big way). Your

> beauty will increase because you'll feel so wonderful physically

and

> emotionally. My PCP said that as I got closer to goal weight, I

> became radiant. It's the glow of good health and self love. The

> combination is all-empowering. It still doesn't register to me

that

> I'm " all that. " I've never judged myself based on appearance. But

> lots of men see something in me that isn't common. You've got it

> too: courage. And courage is not the absence of fear; it's walking

> through that fear to get what you want.

>

> I can't believe how many dates I've been on in the months since

Zach

> and I broke up (did I forget to tell you that and I broke

> up?....anyway...). I'm currently dating a doctor (Joe), a lawyer

> (Don), a PR exec (), and Mark (heath care researcher). Don has

> been amazing and is making me think long and hard about where I

want

> to be in a few years. He's been hitting all the right notes, and

> he's told me he's looking for someone to co-parent a child with

him.

> He's just starting the process of international adoption, but that

> will take a few years. Since we've started seeing each other, he's

> shown me his home (OMG, like a museum--original artwork, tapestries

> and paintings throughout, so stylish) and we've had long

> conversations about the future. He treats me wonderfully, and pays

> attention to the little details like holding my hand under the

table

> or touching the small of my back as we walk. He's also talked

about

> cutting down the number of hours he works to more fully devote time

> to a partner and a child.

>

> I've always wanted a child, but Zach would not consider it. With

> Don, it would be financially do-able to raise a child in the way

I'd

> want to. (God, how would I restrain myself from spoiling her

> rotten?) However, I still need some time because I want to be

single

> and (for lack of a better way to express it) play the field for a

> while. But never in a million years did I think that I'd have

these

> kind of opportunities just three years ago. Who would have

believed

> that I'd run a half marathon? I never would have believed that I'd

> enjoy running. Me? A runner? But it's now true.

>

> Freedom will bring you joy and challenges that you cannot yet

> anticipate. However, it will be the best thing you ever did for

> yourself. As a wise psychologist said to me, " The price of freedom

> is dear, but its fruit is delicious. " And baby, it's high time I

> tasted some of that fruit. It's high time you did too.

>

> Best of luck to you. As always, you're in my prayers.

>

> ****

>

> Thanks for reading, people. I hope you're all doing well.

>

> Francisco

August 5, 2005

-Francisco: You are perhaps one of the wisest people that I have had

the pleasure of reading....that bit about courage being not the lack

of fear but the walking through it to get what you want---

marvelous!!!! With your permission, I would like to adopt this as my

new mantra.....Thank you for enlightening me in this

fashion....Yours, Tamara-- In gastric-bypass-support-kaiser-

patients , " Francisco " wrote:

> Hello everyone:

>

> A dear friend of mine for 24 years is in the beginning stages of

> getting approved for gastric bypass surgery. She wrote me today to

> tell me that she's starting the process, and here is my message to

> her. Hopefully, it will help any of you newbies out there:

>

> *****

>

> OMG! Congratulations! It is SOOOOOO coincidental that you deliver

> this news to me today. Three years ago today, I went to my PCP to

be

> referred to Kaiser's bariatric program. I know that this is not

for

> everyone, but when you decide it's for you, you will have my

support

> regardless of where this path takes you.

>

> Yes, of course, you can count on me to answer any questions you

might

> have. And if you want someone to attend a support group meeting

with

> you (as a support person), I'd be happy to do so.

>

> You know, my journey has been such an odyssey. Everything,

> everything has changed in my life. It's not been easy, but I am so

> worth it. And I know that you are too. You will have to accept

> that: nothing in your life will change except everything.

>

> Be prepared for opposition because you are confronting an issue

that

> runs deep with overweight people, particularly the morbidly obese.

I

> lost 3 friends (all morbidly obese), but I gained so much more. My

> life is full in ways I only dreamed of: square dancing, marathon

> training, church activities, dates, dates and more dates. I'm not

> afraid to connect with new people. While I'm not the life of the

> party (that's not my style), I look forward to dates and

connections

> as an opportunity to connect with others. If someone doesn't like

> me, oh well, no problem; I still like me. And the connections I

have

> to others is what bring me joy. I no longer live in the isolation

> imposed by myself. I am no longer a prisoner to my own body. I am

> free. My life used to center around chores and TV. Now I have no

> time for TV because my life is more interesting than anything on

TV.

> Chores now take a fraction of the time because I have so much more

> energy.

>

> And regarding dates, you're going to need to get a grip on one

> thing. You are beautiful as you are, right now. However, as you

get

> closer to society's ideal, I think men will pay more attention to

you

> than you might be used to (it's happened to me in a big way). Your

> beauty will increase because you'll feel so wonderful physically

and

> emotionally. My PCP said that as I got closer to goal weight, I

> became radiant. It's the glow of good health and self love. The

> combination is all-empowering. It still doesn't register to me

that

> I'm " all that. " I've never judged myself based on appearance. But

> lots of men see something in me that isn't common. You've got it

> too: courage. And courage is not the absence of fear; it's walking

> through that fear to get what you want.

>

> I can't believe how many dates I've been on in the months since

Zach

> and I broke up (did I forget to tell you that and I broke

> up?....anyway...). I'm currently dating a doctor (Joe), a lawyer

> (Don), a PR exec (), and Mark (heath care researcher). Don has

> been amazing and is making me think long and hard about where I

want

> to be in a few years. He's been hitting all the right notes, and

> he's told me he's looking for someone to co-parent a child with

him.

> He's just starting the process of international adoption, but that

> will take a few years. Since we've started seeing each other, he's

> shown me his home (OMG, like a museum--original artwork, tapestries

> and paintings throughout, so stylish) and we've had long

> conversations about the future. He treats me wonderfully, and pays

> attention to the little details like holding my hand under the

table

> or touching the small of my back as we walk. He's also talked

about

> cutting down the number of hours he works to more fully devote time

> to a partner and a child.

>

> I've always wanted a child, but Zach would not consider it. With

> Don, it would be financially do-able to raise a child in the way

I'd

> want to. (God, how would I restrain myself from spoiling her

> rotten?) However, I still need some time because I want to be

single

> and (for lack of a better way to express it) play the field for a

> while. But never in a million years did I think that I'd have

these

> kind of opportunities just three years ago. Who would have

believed

> that I'd run a half marathon? I never would have believed that I'd

> enjoy running. Me? A runner? But it's now true.

>

> Freedom will bring you joy and challenges that you cannot yet

> anticipate. However, it will be the best thing you ever did for

> yourself. As a wise psychologist said to me, " The price of freedom

> is dear, but its fruit is delicious. " And baby, it's high time I

> tasted some of that fruit. It's high time you did too.

>

> Best of luck to you. As always, you're in my prayers.

>

> ****

>

> Thanks for reading, people. I hope you're all doing well.

>

> Francisco

August 5, 2005

Incredibly inspirational, Francisco. Thanks..

Pam

ps A physician, lawyer, PR exec and a medical researcher?! Wow. I could look like Shields and still not be so lucky!!!Francisco wrote:

Hello everyone:A dear friend of mine for 24 years is in the beginning stages of getting approved for gastric bypass surgery. She wrote me today to tell me that she's starting the process, and here is my message to her. Hopefully, it will help any of you newbies out there:*****OMG! Congratulations! It is SOOOOOO coincidental that you deliver this news to me today. Three years ago today, I went to my PCP to be referred to Kaiser's bariatric program. I know that this is not for everyone, but when you decide it's for you, you will have my support regardless of where this path takes you.Yes, of course, you can count on me to answer any questions you might have. And if you want someone to attend a support group meeting with you (as a support person), I'd be happy to do

so.You know, my journey has been such an odyssey. Everything, everything has changed in my life. It's not been easy, but I am so worth it. And I know that you are too. You will have to accept that: nothing in your life will change except everything.Be prepared for opposition because you are confronting an issue that runs deep with overweight people, particularly the morbidly obese. I lost 3 friends (all morbidly obese), but I gained so much more. My life is full in ways I only dreamed of: square dancing, marathon training, church activities, dates, dates and more dates. I'm not afraid to connect with new people. While I'm not the life of the party (that's not my style), I look forward to dates and connections as an opportunity to connect with others. If someone doesn't like me, oh well, no problem; I still like me. And the connections I have to others is

what bring me joy. I no longer live in the isolation imposed by myself. I am no longer a prisoner to my own body. I am free. My life used to center around chores and TV. Now I have no time for TV because my life is more interesting than anything on TV. Chores now take a fraction of the time because I have so much more energy.And regarding dates, you're going to need to get a grip on one thing. You are beautiful as you are, right now. However, as you get closer to society's ideal, I think men will pay more attention to you than you might be used to (it's happened to me in a big way). Your beauty will increase because you'll feel so wonderful physically and emotionally. My PCP said that as I got closer to goal weight, I became radiant. It's the glow of good health and self love. The combination is all-empowering. It still doesn't register to me that

I'm "all that." I've never judged myself based on appearance. But lots of men see something in me that isn't common. You've got it too: courage. And courage is not the absence of fear; it's walking through that fear to get what you want.I can't believe how many dates I've been on in the months since Zach and I broke up (did I forget to tell you that and I broke up?....anyway...). I'm currently dating a doctor (Joe), a lawyer (Don), a PR exec (), and Mark (heath care researcher). Don has been amazing and is making me think long and hard about where I want to be in a few years. He's been hitting all the right notes, and he's told me he's looking for someone to co-parent a child with him. He's just starting the process of international adoption, but that will take a few years. Since we've started seeing each other, he's shown me his home (OMG, like a

museum--original artwork, tapestries and paintings throughout, so stylish) and we've had long conversations about the future. He treats me wonderfully, and pays attention to the little details like holding my hand under the table or touching the small of my back as we walk. He's also talked about cutting down the number of hours he works to more fully devote time to a partner and a child.I've always wanted a child, but Zach would not consider it. With Don, it would be financially do-able to raise a child in the way I'd want to. (God, how would I restrain myself from spoiling her rotten?) However, I still need some time because I want to be single and (for lack of a better way to express it) play the field for a while. But never in a million years did I think that I'd have these kind of opportunities just three years ago. Who would have believed that I'd run a half marathon? I

never would have believed that I'd enjoy running. Me? A runner? But it's now true.Freedom will bring you joy and challenges that you cannot yet anticipate. However, it will be the best thing you ever did for yourself. As a wise psychologist said to me, "The price of freedom is dear, but its fruit is delicious." And baby, it's high time I tasted some of that fruit. It's high time you did too.Best of luck to you. As always, you're in my prayers.****Thanks for reading, people. I hope you're all doing well.Francisco

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August 5, 2005