Re: Re: Consumed...........

[Guest guest]

Hi Sherri,

I so feel ya on the peanut butter cup, OH MY GOSH that is my favorite. Yah my sister came home w/ in my first week of having surgery with Taco Bell and Mcdonald's for her and her kids and it kinda bugged me since she knew I couldn't have that and I wanted it SO BAD. After she was done I had to take out the garbage so I didn't have to smell it. How crazy is that. Anyway, can you e-mail the list of "100 reasons to lose 100 pounds" that you were talking about or maybe I can give you my address and you could mail me a copy, I would so appreciate it. Thanks

Tammy 7/12/05

sdyoko wrote:

Hi Azin-I think it is important to question yourself because having the surgery is a lifelong commitment. I took a long time to make the decision and am glad that I did. I feel that the better informed and accepting of the changes you are, the better your chances of success. There were some people that thought I was too young for the surgery (I'm 39), but I have had weight problems ever since I graduated from high school, got a desk job, and had two kids. Every time I lost weight, I was the classic example of gain it all back plus 20. I looked into the future and it was grim. If I was this heavy at 39 (320 lbs), what would I be like at 50 or 60?So now I am adapting to my new lifestyle and am happy most of the time. I just cleaned out my closet and am donating all my size 22 - 30

clothes to a local career clothes closet. It is awesome to fit into size 20 again and know that I will continue to shrink. I tried on some jeans I had been saving for years and they fit - the only problem was that peg legs are currently out of style and I looked ridiculous! I have explained my new limitations to my family and friends and they have been very supportive. The biggest request that I have given all of them is that when I say "no" to a certain food, please accept it and don't make me say it twice, because it is hard enough to say it the first time. My teen-aged daughter ate a peanut butter cup in front of me recently and I almost killed her. She thought I was joking when I asked her to go away but Reeses are a major trigger for me and smelling it was mentally painful. I am regaining so much quality of life though that I can deal with what I have given up. If you

aren't at that point yet, and are unsure about surgery, I encourage you to stay in the program but take your time. I think that one of the reasons the process takes so long at Kaiser is they want you to have time to think and absorb everything before taking the leap. I resented it at times, but in retrospect, the time to reflect was important. If you go to meetings in So. San Francisco, ask them for the list of "100 reasons to lose 100 pounds." It really helps me to look it over when I need extra motivation.Good luck,SherriStarting Weight 2/17/2005 320.5Weight one week before surgery 5-17-05 287.5Date of surgery 5-25-05 SSF Dr. Umbach (laparoscopic)Weight today 7-21-05 249- 71.5 lbs> I'm freaking out today...full of

anxeity. Every post today has been so > helpful and caused so much paranoia. God I hope I'm doing the right > thing. > > Please don't hate me if I say this but I totally questioned myself at > the last meeting I had at Kaiser. I was like one of the smallest > people in there. I guess when I was waiting to get weighed some a few > ladies started talking to my mom (my support person) and they were > saying stuff like I look fine and how I even got into the program. I so > freaked out. When I say small I'm not physically small but I've become > a good con-artist. I'm 5'10 so I thank my height for making me look a > little bit more porportioned. Every thing I put is so calculated that > I hide EVERYTHING. So far no one seems to understand why I am doing > this. Which is flattering but it's really

messing with my head. > > I spend 8 hours at work just looking at before and after pictures on > obesity.com. I can't wait anymore...I've been consumed with all of > this 7 months now. > > Agh....sorry to vent. And my poor boyfriend - it seems all I have to > talk about is this damn surgery. I just want it all over with....and I > totally blew it this week. I had probably the worse period of my life > this week to add to everything else going on in my head and broke my > diet. I am feeling so incredibly guilty and I have dinner plans that I > want to break tonight but I can't. More stuff to go on my guilt pile I > guess.> > Azin :/