Re: Parted ways with another fat friend (to Robynn and Tamara)

[Guest guest]

Robynn:

This is very well stated. I totally agree with you. I'd find it

hard (although not impossible) to cut off a family member.

Friends, however, are slightly easier to cut out. And I didn't do it

lightly. I'm a very tolerant and forgiving person, but Dr. Fisher

warned me that there would be people like this in my life, so I've

followed his advice in limiting (or cutting off) my contact with

negative saboteurs.

Tamara:

Best of luck deciding what to do and working this through.

Unfortunately, this is one of those byproducts of the process that we

all have to face.

It's not easy, but as always, you are so worth the effort.

Best of luck to you, and be sure to let us know how it goes.

Francisco

> > Hey everyone, especially you posties:

> >

> > Have you had anything like this happen?

> >

> > A now former friend (he is boardering on being morbidly obese)and

> I

> > had another disagreement, and I've decided that this is just the

> last

> > straw.

> >

> > After this little disagreement, I was sitting here mulling it

> over.

> > He said that the last year has been all about me, and that I

> haven't

> > given anything back to him. Oh boo hoo! That is such needy

crap,

> > and I just don't agree.

> >

> > And it just hit me. Bill was my last fat friend. All of my fat

> > friends have turned their backs on me in some sort of jealous

fit,

> > and I now live among the normal-weighted. What the hell was I

> > supposed to give back? I think what he really wanted was for me

to

> > FAIL, like he's failed over and over again. He originally wanted

> me

> > to be his food police (I refused), and he wanted me to be his

> workout

> > buddy, but he didn't want to get up at 5:00 AM to work out. And

> > quite frankly, I didn't have the energy to " carry " someone else

> when

> > I really have to make an effort all on my own. I figure, if he

> > wanted to exercise, he'd stop making excuses and just do it. I

did!

> >

> > Hmmm... it's not that I don't get along with fat people (I mean,

> > part of me in my mind is still morbidly obese), and I appreciate

> all

> > of you here regardless of your size, but what I won't do is

fail.

> > And I won't put up with sabotage crap from friends (or former

> > friends) who really hate that I've gone from the fat team to the

> non-

> > fat team.

> >

> > OK, I'm done ranting. Does this make sense to anyone?

> >

> > Francisco

> > steadfastly refusing to fail

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

Okay, normally I would stay out of a conversation like

this and just keep my thoughts to myself. I can't let

this rest so here goes. Francisco and Tamara, I am

more than welcome to receive whatever it is you have

to say because after all, this is what this forum is

about and I did open the door...here goes...

Francisco, this has truly been a turning point in your

life. A journey like none other. I have seen you

post about losing friends, gaining new friends. I

read that your very last " fat " friend is about to be

no longer a friend. Tamara, I read what you said

about your sister and here is just my one cent on this

matter...strictly my opinion and by far it does not

mean I am right or wrong but when we take our journey

and the changes happen, new windows open and we begin

to see things that we never noticed before because we

just never noticed or either we saw it and was too

afraid to grab hold to it. None of us (post ops or

pre ops, obese or whatever title you wish to use) see

the same thing even when we are standing right next to

one another looking through the same window. If I

have someone and they are my real friend then we can

come to a compromise on anything. It is so much

easier to walk away from a situation than it is to

stay. Why must we lose our " friends " to establish we

this new person is. Why do we have to walk away

because ultimately that is what happens. Our

" friends " don't leave..we do. Francisco, you said

your friend said that the last year was all about you

and that you did not give back. Well, he/she is

correct. It has been about you and nothing is wrong

with that. Giving back...you said that he wanted you

to be his food police. I don't feel there is anything

wrong with it if this person is your " friend " . Its

supose to be 50/50 in any relationship but sometimes

if we have to be the giver of 80/20 or 90/10 then

sometimes that is what you do when you have value in

the relationship. I am not saying to kiss anyone

behind here. I am just saying I don't ever want to

come to a position where I am walking away from

" friends " because I have evolved because you just

never know when you are going to need that person to

lean on. Yes, people might feel jealous because who

wouldn't be but it just means they are human and

desire exactly what you have...FREEDOM and HAPPINESS.

So the next time someone is being needy...let us

remember that we were and in most case still are NEEDY

to. Everybody needs someone. I don't want to ever

forget that I was not a normal person at one time in

my life. I want to always remember so that I can be

sensitive to that arena.

Francisco, you are a very beautiful person who has

just blossomed and are out there on the forefront for

all to see. I am so happy that you have made this

journey and I wish nothing but the best for you.

Tamara, you are just beginning and I wish you well on

your journey. Love your sister and understand where

she is coming from. You can neither replace her or

afford to separate yourself from her. Love her for

who she is and for the things that you don't

like...just remember that these are the things that

makes your sister who she is tool.

--- Francisco gemellodigiovanni@...> wrote:

> Robynn:

>

> This is very well stated. I totally agree with you.

> I'd find it

> hard (although not impossible) to cut off a family

> member.

>

> Friends, however, are slightly easier to cut out.

> And I didn't do it

> lightly. I'm a very tolerant and forgiving person,

> but Dr. Fisher

> warned me that there would be people like this in my

> life, so I've

> followed his advice in limiting (or cutting off) my

> contact with

> negative saboteurs.

>

> Tamara:

>

> Best of luck deciding what to do and working this

> through.

> Unfortunately, this is one of those byproducts of

> the process that we

> all have to face.

>

> It's not easy, but as always, you are so worth the

> effort.

>

> Best of luck to you, and be sure to let us know how

> it goes.

>

> Francisco

>

>

>

> > > Hey everyone, especially you posties:

> > >

> > > Have you had anything like this happen?

> > >

> > > A now former friend (he is boardering on being

> morbidly obese)and

> > I

> > > had another disagreement, and I've decided that

> this is just the

> > last

> > > straw.

> > >

> > > After this little disagreement, I was sitting

> here mulling it

> > over.

> > > He said that the last year has been all about

> me, and that I

> > haven't

> > > given anything back to him. Oh boo hoo! That

> is such needy

> crap,

> > > and I just don't agree.

> > >

> > > And it just hit me. Bill was my last fat

> friend. All of my fat

> > > friends have turned their backs on me in some

> sort of jealous

> fit,

> > > and I now live among the normal-weighted. What

> the hell was I

> > > supposed to give back? I think what he really

> wanted was for me

> to

> > > FAIL, like he's failed over and over again. He

> originally

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