WARNING - adult in nature : my 2 cents

[Guest guest]

Robynn and others,

You guys are cracking me up! I am enjoying this thread, lol I loved

your post about all the dating you did. I was the same way. I did a

lot of dating from 15 to 18 then got married at 20 divorced at 30

and also got sober at 30, I had been so shut down about sex due to

my sexual abuse as a child, and I was very very out of touch with my

body. I had never even masturbated until I was over 30.

My girlfriends took me to Good Vibration in SF. It was their

mission lol. I walked in and my mouth fell open. Then I met a guy

very hunky, very cute. He was after me for months to hook up and it

was clear he was attracted to me. He told me right out he was not

looking for a relationship he was looking for a lover. I thought

about it for like three months and thought ok. He was being honest

with what he wanted; he was not playing head games. I knew what I

was getting into so my heart would not get broken.

OMG! It was the best 18 months lol, yes 18 months. He was the first

man to ask me if I had an orgasm every time we had sex. I was like

ummmm,,, well,,, I'll call you back. I was on the phone with my

girlfriends telling them what he was asking and they were like tell

him the truth!! So I called him back and said no! lol I thought I

would die.

He told me I had to communicate with him, tell him what I liked,

what worked for me. He said he would do the same. I tell him he

turned me into a sex machine and he said I always had it in me he

just helped bring it out. You see, I never saw sex as something that

was pleasurable. To me sex was pain, it was brutal, it was being

over powered by people you should of been safe with it was all about

shame.

Having sex for pleasure, for fun, the silliness of it was very new

to me. We to got a box of toys. I can remember my first trip to good

vibrations with my girlfriends I got something like the rabbit,, (am

I sharing all this?) and I went to an AA meeting with it in my

purse. I had two AA batteries in my purse and I handed them to

Orlando (the guy) and my girlfriends new what I had just did, he

looked at them and laughed so hard, he grabbed my hand and said we

have to leave. It was very funny.

We saw each other for 18 months and we never looked at our self's

as a couple although everyone else did. We never saw other people.

What I remember most about that relationship was that we had so much

fun. I have read my old diary's and as I have read about all my

passed relationships (and there were many) Orlando's and mine was

the only entries were there was no drama; it was all fun, very

sexual and erotic. The things we did, the doors he opened for

me .Teaching me to love my body.

You see I was about 260 pounds. I was not skinny. He loved me as I

was. He helped me love my self, told me I was as sexy as I wanted to

be. Every fantasy was ok to share with him, as his were with mine.

The best thing he helps me get pasted was the shame of my feelings

about sex. I learned it was ok to enjoy sex, it was ok to want sex

and most important it was more then ok to be sexual women with needs.

Shell

> > > > > Hi ,

> > > > >

> > > > > I mentioned that I was with my previous husband for

decades.

> >What

> > > >I did

> > > > > not mention is that he was impotent, so I basically closed

the

> > > >door on

> > > > > my sexuality for more than a decade.

> > > > >

> > > > > OK, here's my personal (very!) recommendation, and I truly

> >hope it

> > > >does

> > > > > not offend. If it doesn't fit you and your marriage, feel

free

> >to

> > > >reject

> > > > > it. I understand that your husband's libido is diminished

> >because

> > > >of his

> > > > > health problems. Is he comfortable with either helping you

with

> > > >either

> > > > > hands, mouth, or toys, or holding you while you play with

them?

> > > >This may

> > > > > seem awkward at first, but might be a way for your libido

> >issues

> > > >to be

> > > > > addressed, without straying. I highly recommend Good

> >Vibrations on

> > > >San

> > > > > Pablo as a source of advice, toys, and erotic literature.

> > > > >

> > > > > Feel free to contact me for any other suggestions. You do

need

> >to

> > > >take

> > > > > care of ALL facets of your life, including your sexuality.

> >Like I

> > > >said,

> > > > > I hope this doesn't offend. I truly don't mean it to.

> > > > >

> > > > > Eleanor

> > > > >

> > > > > --

> > > > > Eleanor Oster

> > > > > eleanor@s... (personal address)

> > > > > www.smallboxes.com/gastricbypass.htm

> > > > > San , CA

> > > > > Open RNY (100 cm bypassed) 07/15/2003

> > > > > P. Fisher, M.D., Kaiser Richmond (CA)

> > > > > ~5'9 " tall

> > > > > 05/09/2003 319 Orientation

> > > > > 07/15/2003 ~290 Surgery

> > > > > Current ~150 Goal until plastics?

> > > > > Goal 140-150?

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >