Re: Robynn, how are you doing?

[Guest guest]

Tamara,

I read your posts about telling your son about his father.

I don't know my father. I have about three pictures with him that were taken when I was less than a year old. My mother 16 when she had me, and had my next sister 15 months later -

we have different fathers. It's no wonder my dad split.

I was raised by my grandma and grandpa, (so it was a mom-dad situation) with the mother being around occassionally, until I turned 14, when we all moved into onw house. She and I have no relationship now. I really hated being given the run around when I did ask about my dad. He was just "some guy" when I saw pictures in old albums, his name was this or it was that, he was in the marine corp one week and the army the next. I was told a story after I graduated high school in '91 that he had wanted to come, and my mother told him no. What? They spoke? She knew where he was? I was also told that he had gotten married, moved to Texas and had 4 boys. I have 4 younger sisters, so I am the oldest of 9! (OMG!)

I was very upset that other people were making decisions about what I knew about MY father - 1/2 of the reason why I am here. Hello - I think I have a right to know!

As it is now, he was never in my life, so I don't necessarily NEED him, but I would like to meet him, just once, so I can see what he looks like, how we look and act alike, etc. Even if it's only for a lunch and he gives me a medical history ( so important! has there been heart disesase? cancer? etc...)

Anyway - what I was saying in a long story - I *think* you should tell your son, and be honest. We all want to know where we came from (I do - and doing one sided genealogy is only 1/2 the story - literally!) No matter how his father acted, he is still the reason you have your son. They don't have to become friends. I would just say be sure your son can handle it emotionally - you don't want to hurt him either.

My 2 cents and the pouring out of my heart. I have "friends" who don't even know this!)

Daunnie