Re: , Terri, Tracie, et al.

[Guest guest]

Hi everybody! Thanks so much, for the referral. I did call and they wanted me to come out to Hershey to see your doctor. So I called my health insurance company who informed me that because I have been diagnosed that I can see as many neurologists as often as I want without getting pre-auth... WOW!! I think I actually heard the angelic choir when the agent said that! Then she gave me a list of neurologists in Pittsburgh and I found one who apparently has had experience with NS - Dr. Kasdan. I was supposed to see her bright and early on Tuesday morning, but that appointment had to be postponed because one of my dearest friends showed up at like 8:00 AM (an ungodly hour for me) absolutely in hysterics because her brother's mother-in-law had died of a heart attack at 4:00 the same morning. Needless to say, everything came to a screeching halt. I'm going to

reschedule at the beginning of next week. I'll keep you posted. Thank you for asking, Terri! Here goes: Well, Tracie - this afternoon I saw good ol' "Peckerhead" himself. He made me wait an hour and forty minutes in the patient room. When he walked in the room, all I could think was how you said he's a peckerhead and it took all I had not to bust out laughing. Thank you - comic relief much appreciated! Anyway, I read him the list of concerns and symptoms, but Peckerhead just looked at me like I had two heads. After watching me walk, having me do the squeeze-his-fingers and push against his push thing, and finally doing that "look at my nose, look at my finger thing," he had his office schedule another set of evoked potentials and another MRI. I asked if the things I had described were anything of concern. He said he really didn't expect to find

anything different from the MRI and that he didn't see reason for concern because he didn't see any "real physical changes" in me, but he's ordering the tests anyway because of my "vast array of symptoms." He said it in a very condescending tone which really ticked me off, but I held my tongue. Then he flipped the top page of my report and saw the fax I had sent last week requesting that copies of all my records be sent to Dr. Kasdan because I was seeing her for a second opinion. His lips pursed, he looked very aggitated, didn't look up and me and snottily said, "And how did your visit with Dr. Kasdan go yesterday?" I explained I hadn't made it to the appointment due to a family crisis. He didn't look up and said, "hmmmph." Peckerhead. (I love that word, by the way, but I'm really trying not to use it too much... Can't you tell?! LOL!!!) Anyhow, he

didn't say another word to me and just left the room. Ewwww! I was so mad!!! So... I'm sure I never want to go back to see him, to be quite honest. My husband was livid when he heard that Doc Sauter didn't give me any satisfaction or address my concerns. I'll be praying in the meantime that God directs me to a good neurologist who is compassionate and who will help. I have been in more toothachey pain in the past couple of weeks than ever. My arms hurt so much that if I close my eyes I can almost imagine them to be as big as Popeye's. Haaa gegegegege... In the meantime... A lot of personal garbage has been hitting the homefront. My hubby's been irratic from not taking his zoloft regularly. He got physical with our 9-year-old son and scared the hell out of both of us. I diffused the situation and Sam and I left

for a couple of hours to let things cool down. I'm sad about the whole thing because my husband is downplaying the entire thing trying to make me look like I'm over reacting, but I know what I saw and I know what I felt, and somebody has to get help. It's too much to type right now. Let's just suffice it to say I start counseling next week and then after a couple of sessions, Sam will be going to a children's group therapy. This is totally unbeknownst to my husband at this point, only to keep the peace. When I've gone and Sam has started, I think I'll have a nice long dinner with Charlie and explain it all. He's back taking his zoloft today and he's a completely different man - wonderful, loving, charming, affectionate, laughing... But man, this past weekend he was a psycho. I love my husband, please don't misunderstand. And I don't think of him as an "abuser." He's never hit

or hurt either one of us. But the raging fits and breaking stuff and now, ohmygodican'tbelieveit, he got physical one time... That's one too many. I have to take control of the things I have control over, namely Sam and my safety and well being. I've got to have an emergency bag ready with clothes, comfort items for Sam, prescriptions, money, personal and tax information, etc. and leave it with a friend "just in case" there is ever a "just in case." Believe me, if you knew my husband, you'd never expect this of him. He's a wonderful man with a really bad problem. It's within his ability to control it, but if he doesn't, I have to prepare "just in case." I HATE IT!!! I feel like I'm betraying him by putting all of these things in place. I hope I never have to use them, but I'm sure if I ever do, I'll be thankful I prepared! But better safe than sorry. Thankfully I have a great network of praying friends and

family who will lift all three of us up in prayer. We need it. Honestly, though, we're fine and I don't feel like we're in any type of danger. I just need to be responsible and do whatever I can to ensure we're safe and prepared for the "just in cases." Having said all that, can you just imagine what's been going on in my head as far as scenarios that might take place if we ever find ourselves having to leave? Mon Dieu!!! Then our former foster son Adam (now almost 29) hasn't been home in 6 days, leaving a pregnant Penny (our former foster daughter) in a state of distress and totally confusing and upsetting her son, my Godson, Ethan. I could ring his neck, but he's quite tall, and I'd need a step ladder to reach it... unless, of course, he was passed out cold... at which point, I'd paint his toenails florescent pink and shave his eyebrows for pulling this stunt. Adam is an

alcoholic. He knows he's harming everyone, especially himself, but as we know alcohol is a very jealous lover. Poor Penny. The girl is as emotionally strong as I've ever known anybody to ever be, but she has called here crying several times over the past few days, and it's breaking my heart. Ethan's so confused and worried about Adam. Ugh. I can't even go there. I'm ok. I got really emotional Tuesday night and had one of my regular long talks with God. I told Him I'm surrendering it all to Him because this is all so much bigger than me - the illness, the stress, the volatile "I forgot to take my zoloft regularly" hubby, the mouthy homeschooled 9-year-old... I can't do this on my own, so I'm pressing into Him. When I told God I was surrendering it all to Him, I received such a profound inner peace. I know He's got it all under control. I just have to look to

Him first in all things. And then to the medicine cupboard... and then to the chocolate aisle... and then to the shopping channel... You know, heal myself in a girly way! LOL! I will write to you all again soon. I've just had a very full plate. I'm stuffed, but they just keep the plates a-comin'.. Hugs to you all! Jeannie mosaicgirl1 wrote: ,I see you posting quite frequently giving support to other people, buthow are you doing? You have been on my mind recently and hoping youare doing well.Take good care of yourself.Terri G.>> HI I SENT YOU A EMAIL TO YOUR EMAIL ADDY..>> JESSICA>__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

Hi everybody! Thanks so much, for the referral. I did call and they wanted me to come out to Hershey to see your doctor. So I called my health insurance company who informed me that because I have been diagnosed that I can see as many neurologists as often as I want without getting pre-auth... WOW!! I think I actually heard the angelic choir when the agent said that! Then she gave me a list of neurologists in Pittsburgh and I found one who apparently has had experience with NS - Dr. Kasdan. I was supposed to see her bright and early on Tuesday morning, but that appointment had to be postponed because one of my dearest friends showed up at like 8:00 AM (an ungodly hour for me) absolutely in hysterics because her brother's mother-in-law had died of a heart attack at 4:00 the same morning. Needless to say, everything came to a screeching halt. I'm going to

reschedule at the beginning of next week. I'll keep you posted. Thank you for asking, Terri! Here goes: Well, Tracie - this afternoon I saw good ol' "Peckerhead" himself. He made me wait an hour and forty minutes in the patient room. When he walked in the room, all I could think was how you said he's a peckerhead and it took all I had not to bust out laughing. Thank you - comic relief much appreciated! Anyway, I read him the list of concerns and symptoms, but Peckerhead just looked at me like I had two heads. After watching me walk, having me do the squeeze-his-fingers and push against his push thing, and finally doing that "look at my nose, look at my finger thing," he had his office schedule another set of evoked potentials and another MRI. I asked if the things I had described were anything of concern. He said he really didn't expect to find

anything different from the MRI and that he didn't see reason for concern because he didn't see any "real physical changes" in me, but he's ordering the tests anyway because of my "vast array of symptoms." He said it in a very condescending tone which really ticked me off, but I held my tongue. Then he flipped the top page of my report and saw the fax I had sent last week requesting that copies of all my records be sent to Dr. Kasdan because I was seeing her for a second opinion. His lips pursed, he looked very aggitated, didn't look up and me and snottily said, "And how did your visit with Dr. Kasdan go yesterday?" I explained I hadn't made it to the appointment due to a family crisis. He didn't look up and said, "hmmmph." Peckerhead. (I love that word, by the way, but I'm really trying not to use it too much... Can't you tell?! LOL!!!) Anyhow, he

didn't say another word to me and just left the room. Ewwww! I was so mad!!! So... I'm sure I never want to go back to see him, to be quite honest. My husband was livid when he heard that Doc Sauter didn't give me any satisfaction or address my concerns. I'll be praying in the meantime that God directs me to a good neurologist who is compassionate and who will help. I have been in more toothachey pain in the past couple of weeks than ever. My arms hurt so much that if I close my eyes I can almost imagine them to be as big as Popeye's. Haaa gegegegege... In the meantime... A lot of personal garbage has been hitting the homefront. My hubby's been irratic from not taking his zoloft regularly. He got physical with our 9-year-old son and scared the hell out of both of us. I diffused the situation and Sam and I left

for a couple of hours to let things cool down. I'm sad about the whole thing because my husband is downplaying the entire thing trying to make me look like I'm over reacting, but I know what I saw and I know what I felt, and somebody has to get help. It's too much to type right now. Let's just suffice it to say I start counseling next week and then after a couple of sessions, Sam will be going to a children's group therapy. This is totally unbeknownst to my husband at this point, only to keep the peace. When I've gone and Sam has started, I think I'll have a nice long dinner with Charlie and explain it all. He's back taking his zoloft today and he's a completely different man - wonderful, loving, charming, affectionate, laughing... But man, this past weekend he was a psycho. I love my husband, please don't misunderstand. And I don't think of him as an "abuser." He's never hit

or hurt either one of us. But the raging fits and breaking stuff and now, ohmygodican'tbelieveit, he got physical one time... That's one too many. I have to take control of the things I have control over, namely Sam and my safety and well being. I've got to have an emergency bag ready with clothes, comfort items for Sam, prescriptions, money, personal and tax information, etc. and leave it with a friend "just in case" there is ever a "just in case." Believe me, if you knew my husband, you'd never expect this of him. He's a wonderful man with a really bad problem. It's within his ability to control it, but if he doesn't, I have to prepare "just in case." I HATE IT!!! I feel like I'm betraying him by putting all of these things in place. I hope I never have to use them, but I'm sure if I ever do, I'll be thankful I prepared! But better safe than sorry. Thankfully I have a great network of praying friends and

family who will lift all three of us up in prayer. We need it. Honestly, though, we're fine and I don't feel like we're in any type of danger. I just need to be responsible and do whatever I can to ensure we're safe and prepared for the "just in cases." Having said all that, can you just imagine what's been going on in my head as far as scenarios that might take place if we ever find ourselves having to leave? Mon Dieu!!! Then our former foster son Adam (now almost 29) hasn't been home in 6 days, leaving a pregnant Penny (our former foster daughter) in a state of distress and totally confusing and upsetting her son, my Godson, Ethan. I could ring his neck, but he's quite tall, and I'd need a step ladder to reach it... unless, of course, he was passed out cold... at which point, I'd paint his toenails florescent pink and shave his eyebrows for pulling this stunt. Adam is an

alcoholic. He knows he's harming everyone, especially himself, but as we know alcohol is a very jealous lover. Poor Penny. The girl is as emotionally strong as I've ever known anybody to ever be, but she has called here crying several times over the past few days, and it's breaking my heart. Ethan's so confused and worried about Adam. Ugh. I can't even go there. I'm ok. I got really emotional Tuesday night and had one of my regular long talks with God. I told Him I'm surrendering it all to Him because this is all so much bigger than me - the illness, the stress, the volatile "I forgot to take my zoloft regularly" hubby, the mouthy homeschooled 9-year-old... I can't do this on my own, so I'm pressing into Him. When I told God I was surrendering it all to Him, I received such a profound inner peace. I know He's got it all under control. I just have to look to

Him first in all things. And then to the medicine cupboard... and then to the chocolate aisle... and then to the shopping channel... You know, heal myself in a girly way! LOL! I will write to you all again soon. I've just had a very full plate. I'm stuffed, but they just keep the plates a-comin'.. Hugs to you all! Jeannie mosaicgirl1 wrote: ,I see you posting quite frequently giving support to other people, buthow are you doing? You have been on my mind recently and hoping youare doing well.Take good care of yourself.Terri G.>> HI I SENT YOU A EMAIL TO YOUR EMAIL ADDY..>> JESSICA>__________________________________________________