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We are a support unit. I have gotten alot of good information from ciar

(Deb), I feel so sorry for what happen but in this world today of lawsuits,

it ruins it for many. As I understand it Ciar has a lawsuit which is

entirly her right but when there is a medical conflict those messages should

be in private between two parties? Why, well we could all become involved

in a lawsuit for slander by the doctor if she so wishes and that is the

doctor's right. It is the American way, sometimes it is beneficial, some

times it is constricting, eg: gag orders.

To protect a support group, we are allowed to voice our opinion but none of

us were in the operating room. The Dr has trained under one of the best dr

in this field. Can mistakes be made. Sure but not walking a mile in Deb

shoes or a mile in Dr Ren shoes, we need to be informed but cannot judge as

we dont have all the facts.

Deb was very well informed and I beleive she is a nurse, too. Any one of us

can have complications, we cant predict who will and who wont. I know I came

close to having a rny not by choice but by excessive previous scar tissue.

Would I be mad? Sure I'm human but I would be grateful to be alive. Would I

tell people my experience? Sure on a 1 - 1 basis, Is the Dr explaination

a possible reason for having to change the original goal? Unfortunately, we

cannot change the end result.

I think Ciar should come in but for the sake of a groups survival and

avoidance of legal suits, none of us will ever know even Deb has to rely on

other medical professionals as even she was under anesthesia. So, Say what

you feel but we have to do it without statements that can be considered

slanderous. I can understand why she may feel betrayed and not come back. I

for one miss her.

NY is the law suit capital of the world. Even criminals and people who have

been fired have sue for unfair treatment or past bosses who had trouble with

employees and reported that to a new prospective employers and the bad

employee didnt get hired have sued and won. Is this right ? Not in my

books but It isnt my decision,

I miss Ciar but I also don't think that the Dr. got up that morning and

decided to hurt her career and forget all her years of training, residency

and decide not to perform a surgery on another well informed Medical

professional. Deb has a right to be angry and hurt but could have meant a

matter of life and death? I rather have Deb alive. Ill never really know

what happen in that operating room but I knew going in I could die as in any

surgery but not going for surgery would kill me too. Which is the worse of

both evils?

This is a support group! Talk about our needs , problems, complications and

information but we cannot do it unfortunately with remarks that can be

considered slanderous. Whether the remarks are true or not, if it can be

considered slanderous, it shouldnt be said in the group, talk one on one.

Unfortunately or Fortunately it is cause of the American way. I pray for

Ciar. I hope she comes back and a miracle comes her way so she will feel

Fantastic. She has helped so many here.

We as a group have to be nice to each other, no name calling , no cursing and

if you can't send a nice email, dont send any at all. Treat each other with

respect and open arms, as we are a d/s family, we wont always agree but we

can support, pray and listen. There has to be a structure, they are listed

when we sign up, follow the rules and no problems. Now back to being a

support group.

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