Deb is banned ? *LONG*

[Guest guest]

Okay,

I saw in some previous posts that Deb/Ciar1 is banned ? I honestly think that it

needs to be reversed if that is the case. Deb is going through a painful time,

not just physically, but also emotionally. While no one wants to focus on the

negative, that doesn't mean we have to bury it (and the person) under the

proverbial rug. While I agree that the person attacks between list members need

to stop, that has happened on several different occasions and no one else has

been banned. To put Deb on the ban list like those of the caliber of Sue

Widemark, whose only purpose is scare people with half-truths and fallacy is

unfair. Deb's experience is her own and none of have the right to judge her for

it, nor do we have the right to pretend we know what she's going through and

dismiss her pain. I think the only other one that can possibly relate would be

(Sharon ?) in Canada (not our Goldenlady), who has no longer even has a stomach.

While other people have had massive and life threatening complications, they did

come out with the surgery they had chosen. I know I would be feel completely

betrayed if I went under the knife for a BPD/DS and came out with a modified

RNY, or any other type of surgery, other than what I had meticulously

researched. Having my common channel a little longer, or my stomach a little

bigger can be frustrating enough. Bridget posted to post-op problems a while

ago, expressing her despair and frustration as she is still connected to a

J-tube after 6 months, hasn't eaten normally in months, lost her apartment, lost

her job, lost her independence and can not take care of herself. No one knew

how to respond, because none of us have had complications like that, but that

doesn't invalidate the pain or feelings she needed to share. None of us want to

focus on the extreme negative outcomes of the surgery, because that is what we

all fear. No one knows about Deb's surgical experience other than Deb and Dr

Ren, regardless of posts she may have made when just out of surgery. If you

lost a limb during surgery, you probably would be grateful that the doctor

managed to save your life immediately afterwards, but what if you found out

later or later believed that you didn't have to lose that limb ?? I'm sure none

of us would feel all that grateful at the point. That's the place Deb is in now.

Regardless, for those who tried to confirm or deny Deb's story, I can guarantee,

nothing would be said to a prospective patient until whatever boards

investigating came to a conclusion, as that to damage Dr. Ren's reputation. The

investigative board and the legal department will avoid that at all costs until

something can be proved. This is also why Dr Ren wouldn't even be able to say

she was sorry or that she may have made a mistake, because that would make her

liable. It also doesn't ameliorate all the positive outcomes Dr Ren has had or

the fact that she probably saved Glo's life by determining that lump was

cancerous. It does make it hard when that negative statistic is someone we

know, who is in constant pain, can barely eat properly, constantly dumps when

she does try to eat anything, does not have a pylorus valve (one of the major

reasons to have a BPD/DS), hence the constant dumping, is in emotional pain and

justifibly angry. I do hope Deb can get some sort of revision to at least

lessen her symptoms and improve her quality of life as it worse than it was

pre-op, but I do know it may be a while before she lets herself be operated on

again.

I feel we do a disservice to Deb as well as ourselves, if we ban her knowledge

and her pain from this group. I don't know if we can help her in any way, but I

don't think that means we need to stop being a source of support if needed and a

listening ear.

Thanks,

Anita

Pre-pre-op in Denver