off subject, but cute....april fools...

[Guest guest]

Subject: Kid Funnies

> THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM MY CHILDREN... (HONEST AND NO KIDDING):

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> 1. A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. foot house

> 4 inches deep.

>

> 2. If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller

> blades, they can ignite.

>

> 3. A 3 year old's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded

> restaurant.

>

> 4. If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong

> enough to rotate a 42 pound boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman

> cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread

> paint on all four walls of a 20 by 20 foot room.

>

> 5. You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When

> using the ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times

> before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.

>

> 6. The glass in windows (even double pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by

> a ceiling fan.

>

> 7. When you hear the toilet flush and the words " Uh-oh, " it's already too

> late.

>

> 8. Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.

>

> 9. A six year old can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36

> year old man says they can only do it in the movies. A magnifying glass

> can start a fire even on an overcast day.

>

> 10. Certain LEGOs will pass through the digestive tract of a four year

> old.

>

> 11. Play Dough and Microwave should never be used in the same sentence.

>

> 12. Super glue is forever.

>

> 13. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't

> walk on water.

>

> 14. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.

>

> 15. VCR's do not eject PB&J sandwiches even though TV commercials show

> they do.

>

> 16. Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.

>

> 17. Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.

>

> 18. You probably do not want to know what that odor is.

>

> 19. Always look in the oven before you turn it on. Plastic toys do not

> like ovens.

>

> 20. The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5 minute response time.

>

> 21. The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms

> dizzy.

>

> 22. It will however make cats dizzy.

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> 23. Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.

>

> 24. The mind of a six year old is wonderful.

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