Let us just agree to disagree

[Guest guest]

Please group, lets stop this thread about Dr Ren. Everyone sees things in a different light. I would love to stop all this discussion right now. Everyone wants to see Deb heal. This is doing nothing but rubbing salt into the wounds. I am sorry for my part in this disagreement. MY Personal opinion is this battle is doing nothing but feeding Deb's anger.

Gobo you are a very valuable member of this group. You have provided many many items of interest. Please do not let this cause you to leave this group. I let this same arguement cause me to leave this group once, but I will not do so again. What really disturbs me is that as long as new people ask about Dr Ren and Deb posts her story the way she sees it (feels it), this will happen time and time again. I think it is fine to post about your complication and how you survived it and how it is impacting on you today but I do not think it is fine to trash any doctor. No matter if it is Dr Welker, Dr K, Dr Gagner, Dr Rabkin, etc.

One thing I have learned, is you can say anything you want to on the internet, and people believe you without hearing both sides of the story. If I told you today that my dh was a wife beater and a son of a bitch, I would have 100 posts telling me what a low life he is and what to do about it. You would believe me without hearing one single word from my dh and if he did post his account he would still not be believed. (that is just an example, my dh is not any of the above)

Emotions run high on this issue because most people can not imagine what they would do if what happened to Deb would happen to them. I was prepared going in to my surgery for just about anything to happen. As we all know, anything CAN and DOES happen. That is what this group is here for to help prepare ourselves for every facet of this surgery. There is a post op group where a person can go to get help with their post op problems (not to say problems should not be told to pre-ops). Experienced members that have great advice. I also joined that group and lurked just so I could get information about the problems that can and do happen with this surgery. I felt ready to face the pros and cons of having this surgery.

There is so much bickering in this group and so many people ready to jump down peoples throats just for trying to give some constructive critism or ideas to try to help someone. If a person does not want any help then why cry out to the group.

I think the solution to put this issue to rest, is when someone posts asking about a certain doctor that the post is answered privately. This battle did nothing to help Debi (who originally asked about Dr Ren) in making her decision. If anything it probably scared the poor girl right out of this group. She is still probably running for her life thinking, "wow, what kind of place did I get myself into? What a lot of bitches. You call that support?"

If you disagree with this message, in order not to prolong the life of this arguement please post to me privately.

Viau, Switched 3/29/01BCBSM PPODr Ren, NYUMC http://www.thinforlife.orgMaximum weight 325lost 9 lbs prior to surgeryPre-Surgery weight: 3164/18/01: 291 (-25 lbs in 21 days)32 pounds gone forever