Guest guest Posted June 21, 2004 Report Share Posted June 21, 2004 I was thinking about how a status symbol of today are those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one, so I'm wearing my garage door opener. Now everyone thinks I'm cool, too. ************************************************************* I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!************************************************************* I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.************************************************************* I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age and call it, "Pumping Rust".*************************************************************I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease.... that's when your chest is falling into your drawers!*************************************************************You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I wanted to say, "No, it's for company!"*************************************************************Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!" *************************************************************Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these people? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mail carriers could look for them while they deliver the mail?**************************************************************Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?*************************************************************Why is it that no matter what color of bubble bath you use, the bubbles are always white? ************************************************************Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with the hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?**************************************************************Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give their vacuum one more chance?*************************************************************Why is it that no plastic garbage bag will open from the end you first try?*************************************************************Is it true that the only difference between a yard sale and a trash pickup is how close to the road the stuff is placed?*************************************************************In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?*************************************************************Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?*************************************************************How come we never hear any "father-in-law" jokes?*************************************************************If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to?*************************************************************Why is it that men can react to broken bones as 'just a sprain' and deep wounds as 'just a scratch', but when they get the sniffles they are deathly ill 'with the flu' and have to be bedridden for weeks?************************************************************I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on a curve rather than pass/fail. ____________________________________________________ IncrediMail - Email has finally evolved - Click Here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2004 Report Share Posted July 8, 2004 this is bad but oh so funny!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2004 Report Share Posted July 8, 2004 this is bad but oh so funny!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 8, 2004 Report Share Posted July 8, 2004 this is bad but oh so funny!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2004 Report Share Posted July 9, 2004 NOW THAT'S FUNNY......FIRST CHUCKLE OF THE DAY.....NEEDED IT. C. joke As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks. Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block. All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly. They glared at us with looks of disgust. Suddenly, we realized why......... we were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them... "The LUPIES Store" Come check out our store...http://www.cafepress.com/thelupies"The LUPIES Web Page"http://www.itzarion.com/lupusgroup.html"The LUPIES online photo albums!" Check out what your fellow Lupies look like...http://www.picturetrail.com/lupies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 9, 2004 Report Share Posted July 9, 2004 NOW THAT'S FUNNY......FIRST CHUCKLE OF THE DAY.....NEEDED IT. C. joke As the coals from our barbecue burned down, our hosts passed out marshmallows and long roasting forks. Just then, two fire trucks roared by, sirens blaring, lights flashing. They stopped at a house right down the block. All twelve of us raced out of the back yard, down the street, where we found the owners of the blazing house standing by helplessly. They glared at us with looks of disgust. Suddenly, we realized why......... we were all still holding our roasting forks with marshmallows on them... "The LUPIES Store" Come check out our store...http://www.cafepress.com/thelupies"The LUPIES Web Page"http://www.itzarion.com/lupusgroup.html"The LUPIES online photo albums!" Check out what your fellow Lupies look like...http://www.picturetrail.com/lupies Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2004 Report Share Posted August 5, 2004 Best laugh I've had today!!! Thanks, "You got hit in the head by a chair lift," the insurance rep said. "That makes you an idiot, and we consider that a pre- existing condition." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2004 Report Share Posted August 5, 2004 Best laugh I've had today!!! Thanks, "You got hit in the head by a chair lift," the insurance rep said. "That makes you an idiot, and we consider that a pre- existing condition." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2004 Report Share Posted August 5, 2004 Best laugh I've had today!!! Thanks, "You got hit in the head by a chair lift," the insurance rep said. "That makes you an idiot, and we consider that a pre- existing condition." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 5, 2006 Report Share Posted August 5, 2006 I don't remember where I heard this; might have been here! If so, please pardon me. Knock, knock! Who's there? Goliath! Goliath who? Goliath down; you looketh tired! Ramblin' Rose Moderator Check out the future of MSN Spaces! Share with friends and explore new ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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