Pointless surgery! (bit long sorry)

August 4, 2001

Can someone please give me some advice.

My SS is 3.5 yrs old, and has been taken to the Doctors weekly by his

hyperchondriac mother for as long as I can remember. If he doesnt poo for a

day or two, he turns up on our doorstep with a bottle of laxatives, if he

sneezes, he turns up with an inhaler...there is a pattern! (stupid Drs seem

to give in to her!)

The poor kid is obsessed with having clean hands, and it is impossible to get

him to play with paint, or anything that might make him messy!

Anyway, he once or twice told me that it hurt to pee, and it turned out that

he has two wee tubes (quite common, my DH has it too!). He wees in a

straight line, so wheres the problem? He hasnt complained about it hurting

for months and months. Anyway, his Mum has persisted with her Drs and

finally got to see a consultant at the hospital. I found out yesterday, that

he is going into hospital in two weeks time to have the two tubes, made into

one, and that whilst there, they are going to circumsise him as well, just

incase e has problems in later life!

What is she on? I cant believe she is going to put him through a very

painful operation (so I am told) that isnt really needed. My own Dr thinks

its ridiculous, and that at the very least, the circumsision is an unnecesary

procedure.

Any advice?

PS. Dont mean to offend any religious people with the circumsiosion thing, as

its one thing to do it when they are a few days old, and entirely different

when over 3! His mum is not religious, and is putting him through it for

nothing!

Mum to Rohan

August 4, 2001

> Anyway, he once or twice told me that it hurt to pee, and it turned

out that he has two wee tubes (quite common, my DH has it too!). He

wees in a straight line, so wheres the problem? He hasnt complained

about it hurting for months and months. Anyway, his Mum has

persisted with her Drs and finally got to see a consultant at the

hospital. I found out yesterday, that he is going into hospital in

two weeks time to have the two tubes, made into one, and that whilst

there, they are going to circumsise him as well, just incase he has

problems in later life!

>

> What is she on? I cant believe she is going to put him through a

very painful operation (so I am told) that isnt really needed. My

own Dr thinks its ridiculous, and that at the very least, the

circumsision is an unnecesary procedure.

>

> Any advice?

>

Only the sort of advice that you are going to fine offensive I'm

afraid!! 8-)!

She is his Mother, not you, and if her Dr and Consultant think it

necessary then it probably is!! They are not going to allow her to

make them do an operation which isn't necessary - that's just not

ethical and wouldn't be tolerated. I'm sure she is doing the best

she can, and if it means she's obsessive about his health and well-

being then so-be-it. It's no business of your Drs anyway, and they

shouldn't be discussing it with you.

Just for the record, (and probably why I feel strongly in her

support - sorry!!) my own DS is being circumscised next week at the

age of 7. His foreskin is extremely tight and he has been suffering

recurring infections beneath it for about 2 years now. The waiting

list is long - we've been waiting for this appointment since October

2000 - so it's not something that she is doing just for the sake of

it. Bear with her, she'll always be his Mum and you don't want to

fall out over this, he'll need you too in later years.

HTH - Don't be offended please!!!!

Ruth

>

August 4, 2001

Poor you!! you must be worried silly. Can't you DH intervene?

Surely if he has the same 'thing' he could talk to the doctor and find

out why is was not necessary for him and why they think it is

necessary for his son.

Your DH has the same rights over you SS's health as his mother and

should have some input, especially when it is for the wellbeing of the

kiddie!

Also because you will be the one looking after his sore bits when he

stays with you! I have had my SS for the week and it is hard enough

when they are fit and well.

Good luck, hope something can be sorted for all of your sakes.

Kirsten

Mum to (2 years) Step-mom to Shelby (6yrs)

Trainee ANT, and Memb-sec Woking and Knaphill Branches.

Pointless surgery! (bit long sorry)

>Can someone please give me some advice.

>

>My SS is 3.5 yrs old, and has been taken to the Doctors weekly by his

>hyperchondriac mother for as long as I can remember. If he doesnt

poo for a

>day or two, he turns up on our doorstep with a bottle of laxatives,

if he

>sneezes, he turns up with an inhaler...there is a pattern! (stupid

Drs seem

>to give in to her!)

>

>The poor kid is obsessed with having clean hands, and it is

impossible to get

>him to play with paint, or anything that might make him messy!

>

>Anyway, he once or twice told me that it hurt to pee, and it turned

out that

>he has two wee tubes (quite common, my DH has it too!). He wees in a

>straight line, so wheres the problem? He hasnt complained about it

hurting

>for months and months. Anyway, his Mum has persisted with her Drs

and

>finally got to see a consultant at the hospital. I found out

yesterday, that

>he is going into hospital in two weeks time to have the two tubes,

made into

>one, and that whilst there, they are going to circumsise him as well,

just

>incase e has problems in later life!

>

>What is she on? I cant believe she is going to put him through a

very

>painful operation (so I am told) that isnt really needed. My own Dr

thinks

>its ridiculous, and that at the very least, the circumsision is an

unnecesary

>procedure.

>

>Any advice?

>

>PS. Dont mean to offend any religious people with the circumsiosion

thing, as

>its one thing to do it when they are a few days old, and entirely

different

>when over 3! His mum is not religious, and is putting him through it

for

>nothing!

>

>Mum to Rohan

>

August 5, 2001

>

>She is his Mother, not you, and if her Dr and Consultant think it

>necessary then it probably is!!

Like having a hospital birth for example? :-)))

>They are not going to allow her to

>make them do an operation which isn't necessary - that's just not

>ethical and wouldn't be tolerated.

Of course it would be tolerated - how about CS at maternal request?

How about cosmetic surgery? Different people have different

perceptions of necessary. Only yesterday my GP said to me that were I

a different patient and were they different doctors I would have a

file inches thick and spend half my life at the hospital - and he is

right. There are two procedures being talked about here from the

sound of it - the urethral surgery and the 'just in case'

circumcision - one may be more reasonable than the other.

>Just for the record, (and probably why I feel strongly in her

>support - sorry!!) my own DS is being circumscised next week at the

>age of 7. His foreskin is extremely tight and he has been suffering

>recurring infections beneath it for about 2 years now. The waiting

>list is long - we've been waiting for this appointment since October

>2000 - so it's not something that she is doing just for the sake of

>it.

BUT 's saying that *this* child *isn't* suffering - that yes, he

has a congenital abnormality but that clinically it isn't causing a

problem - not the same situation at all! However, 's doctor will

only be commenting on the facts as presented to him by ,

presumably without seeing the child or his records or his mother. And

perhaps his mother is concerned about saving him embarrassment -

and I might think that's a bit drastic, but there's no doubt

that children can be cruel about such things if they find out about

them. She may find the idea of him being 'abnormal' difficult herself.

Our son has an auricular sinus - which was just possibly possibly

implicated in his recent ?mastoiditis - which wasn't so very bad -

one dose of antibiotics and his ear was back in its correct position.

Surgery to close it is possible, but this consultant (to my relief

since I had been warned by a GP friend " Don't forget these ENT chaps

are surgeons and they like to *do* stuff) said that you never quite

know where you are going to end up and that he wouldn't fancy doing

anything unless it happens again. We've decided it would have to be

happening often and making him miserable to risk it. But other

parents might well be pressing for something to be done.

But Ruth, if you are worried about your son's operation, it isn't fun

to watch the surgery (but you won't be doing that), but my experience

was that they did bounce back, especially if well prepared (no

coincidence that the least distressed children had mothers who were

HVs or nurses????)

--

jennifer@...

Vaudin

August 5, 2001

> But Ruth, if you are worried about your son's operation, it isn't

fun

> to watch the surgery (but you won't be doing that), but my

experience

> was that they did bounce back, especially if well prepared (no

> coincidence that the least distressed children had mothers who were

> HVs or nurses????)

Thanks for the comments - I'm not too worried about this but DS is.

He's been told everything he wanted to know, and has attended the

Hospital's " club " to see what is going to happen, and says he can't

wait to get it over with so he'll not have to keep having antibiotics

for the infections - BUT he's not been able to sleep alone for 2

nights now, he's in my bed now saying he feels sick (11.30pm). His

Dad is coming home for the day of the operation (he's in port at the

moment luckily) which DS is delighted about and I'm carrying on as

normal. I hope he will feel happier soon as I am getting overired

too!

Ruth

August 5, 2001