Husbands... and who does what (very long)

[Guest guest]

Ah OK, I stand corrected. Maybe it was the ANT or BFC list. It

definitely happened *somewhere*.

Sorry.

Ruthie

> Just as an NCT coffee morning is open to both men and women so is

this list.

> We had 'Nick the Nanny' and several other male contributors in the

time this

> list has been up and running. There is nothing at the NCT-Coffee

page on the

> website to suggest that this is an all female group, although as

with real

> life coffee groups the majority of contributors do tend to be

women.

>

> I am not aware of the moderators asking people to have their own

email

> address (as a moderator I was stephen.dick@ for ages until I

realised that I

> got far more mail than he did and that I ought to do something

about it). It

> may have been suggested in the past as a way of avoiding confusion.

>

> I hope this clears up any misunderstanding.

>

>

> Co-moderator

>

>

>

> > I didn't know we had men on this list! ...... Isn't this why

the

> > moderators

> > ask us to have our own email addresses rather than coming in

through

> > our DH's address, so that we can have privacy and not have our

> > partners reading this?

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 21/08/2001 15:41:47 GMT Daylight Time,

postmistress@... writes:

> james

>

>

Speaking as a mother who shares the care of her son with DH, I have to thank

you. I am so sick of peoples sexist behaviour towards my husband. My

husband took our son to the supermarket last week, and was carrying him in

his arms, when a shop assistant commented " now you know what its like to be a

woman! " .

I dont like the 1900's attitude towards parenting, and belive that it is in

the childs best interest to get equal parenting from both mum and dad.

I found the prospect of my first child much more frightening than my DH, who

took it all in his stride.

Mum to Rohan (6 mths)

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 21/08/2001 15:41:47 GMT Daylight Time,

postmistress@... writes:

> james

>

>

Speaking as a mother who shares the care of her son with DH, I have to thank

you. I am so sick of peoples sexist behaviour towards my husband. My

husband took our son to the supermarket last week, and was carrying him in

his arms, when a shop assistant commented " now you know what its like to be a

woman! " .

I dont like the 1900's attitude towards parenting, and belive that it is in

the childs best interest to get equal parenting from both mum and dad.

I found the prospect of my first child much more frightening than my DH, who

took it all in his stride.

Mum to Rohan (6 mths)

[Guest guest]

Ruthie wrote:

Isn't this why the moderators

> ask us to have our own email addresses rather than coming in

through

> our DH's address>>>>>>>>

This is the case on the BFC and I assume the ANT list, but that is

because it is of a more personal nature and you have to be a BFC or

ANT or trainee to join. Where as this list is open to any Ann,

or Jane as well as Tom, Dick and Harry!

Trisha

SAHM to 3 boys

[Guest guest]

Oh Karina, did you ever hit the spot! This morning I left having put the

washing machine on and asked DH to empty it when it finished, but not having

washed up Tim's half-empty bowl and beaker, because DH was to be at home all

day working on my car so I reckoned he could find 5 mins to do these things.

I phoned him en route for home at 5.30 to ask what he fancied for tea and

who was shopping. He replied that he couldn't as I had the functional car,

told me his thoughts about tea and said he was going to the gym and would be

home about 8. That meant I had to go shopping with a tired toddler on a

bath night - basically home seven ish then about an hour to deal with

tantrums and bath. Sigh. Oh well, he's saving us about £450 in garage

bills, I'll do it all single handed. But when I got home (at 7.20, very

upset overtired Tim) and found the cereal bowl and beaker unmoved in 11

hours and the washing still in the machine I totally flipped - and even more

so when DH brought Tim in from the car while I was trying to get the bath

ready and put the shopping in the fridge and empty the washing machine and I

just needed him to stay strapped in for 5 minutes while I did it.

I won't dig up all the reasons why I have no answers for you, just say " Oh

my god that could have been me writing " - except that we've gone from me

earning 50% more than DH to him earning 50% more than me so the guilt trip

on expenditure is a big shock to me as well.

God it's difficult.

Anneliese and Toddler Tim who played nicely with Gordon today.

Husbands... and who does what (very long)

I've been wondering whether or not to post about this for a while,

but am going to bite the bullet. It's a bit tricky, since I'm hugely

loyal to DH, and I am sure you all are to your DHs too, so perhaps

you don't want to give me examples from your own situations. - but

it's such a recurring theme with us and it's like a hole we are not

getting out of, so I need some advice.

Basically I think the situation is we love each other and respect

each other, but are both exhausted, and thus keep thinking the other

person gets a better deal and are both looking for someone to blame.

Probably pretty classic, I don't know.

I feel that I have the full responsibility for the kids all through

the week - which is OK. It means if they cry in the night it's me who

comforts them, and if they are up early it's me who gets up with

them. If it's a day when DH and I are both working (3 days per week),

I get the kids changed and ready and give them hugs and do the hand-

over, and it's me who will rush back at 6 to give them supper and

baths and put them to bed. (Unless DH happens to be back early, in

which case he `gives me a hand').If they are ill, or need to go to

the doctor or something else, it's me who takes time off work. If

it's a day when I am at home without the nanny (1 day per week

usually) I of course do all of the above, plus look after the kids in

the day. On the fifth day of the week the nanny comes in and I try to

get some stuff done at home (working from home, plus getting house

sorted after building works) - this is my luxury, as it means I can

go back to sleep for an hour or two at 8 after I've been up with the

kids from 6 and before I get down to working from home.

This is kind of OK - I do enjoy being with the kids although every

day is hectic and I recognise that DH earns most of our income -

well, all, really since my income goes to the nanny - so I don't

really have problems with the fact that it's me who has to take the

practical and emotional responsibility for the kids during the week.

Still it does mean he comes home and puts his feet up, or perhaps

makes dinner, and watches TV until 12,or 1 - whereas I run madly

around the house tidying up toys, making bottles for the baby, put

the washing machine on, check whether we have food and money in the

house for the kids and the nanny, and rush to bed at 11 to try and

get some sleep before someone wakes me up. So DH and I do argue in

the week too - because at 5 minutes to 11 there are a few minor tasks

left to do and I'll ask if he can do them since he is staying up

anyway and I'm accused of nagging, as he needs to relax.

Then comes the weekend and I think we are going to share the

responsibility, but it just doesn't happen. Don't get me wrong - he's

a great Dad - and we try to split some things, so in theory I get up

with them on Saturday and DH on Sunday for example. And if we take

them out, he'll do his share. But it's something about who remembers

that they need meals and a sleep and new clothes and clean clothes

and a hug or some stimulation, or whatever it might be. Who is

running the day - who has a timetable for each child in their head?

That's me, of course. You get my drift - I can ask him to do

anything - change a nappy or give someone breakfast or take someone

out for a walk or read someone a book - and he will do it (and he'll

enjoy it, be cheerful etc). But if I don't ask, it wont happen. So

either I just do the whole thing on my own (makes me upset and

angry), or I will delegate him little simple tasks (makes me feel

marginally better), or wait for him to do something really obvious

which he then doesn't do (makes me have a go at him and he gets

pissed off).

I don't think I resent having to do everything myself - I mean, I

would if I had to - and whenever he is away I just get on with it.

But when he IS around I feel that he should be as an intuitive parent

as I am - why shouldn't he be - I know he is capable of it? I don't

want to be `given a hand' - they are his kids as much as mine - so

why do I have to be the delegator all the time? Also I feel that he

doesn't grasp the full reality of being a parent, as he's still doing

everything he used to do - it's like he is himself with a bit of

parent on the side, whereas I am a parent with a bit of myself on the

side.

(I guess this is another reason behind my indecision wrt work and

home - I'm afraid to go full time because I worked full time after DD

and I still had sole responsibility for the kids during the week

(even though we were both working) and I was totally exhausted with

the different priorities - and I am afraid to quit work entirely

because it will be an additional excuse for him to run his life as he

wants during the week - ie go to bed late, get up late, work as much

as he needs to, etc. - as then we'll rely even more on his job).

Oh I don't know.

I fully understand his position too - he wants to mellow when he is

at home, and it's true that he doesn't get as worked up as me about

things and so he is a really cheerful positive influence in the house

(and he does do other things for us. plan our finances, think about

holidays - ie, long term things that are not repetitive).

Yet it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy, because the more I have to

do on my own the more it is me who is always tired and grumpy and

nagging and run-down, and I really hate being like that.

Sorry to go on. I feel it's such a banal conflict really, but I just

don't know what to do.

We argue all the time, and I can't see any way out. I don't want to

reconcile myself to the fact because I am the `mum' I have to be the

default for everything to do with the kids (I'm sure my parents split

it better than this) - although this is what I see all my (female)

friends doing. I guess I could just stop doing certain things, but

that doesn't really help either since it's me who would feel guilty

and not him. Or I could just go out sometimes, which means he'll get

on with the absolute basics, but will leave anything else (ie they

will get food and nappies, but no-one will do the washing or follow

up their potty training.)

The main thing is I want us to be able to work through this and so

does he, but at the moment I am just resentful of his `freedom' to

run his own days and of his lack of guilt, and he is resentful of my

two days `off' and the lack of pressure on me to bring home the bacon.

Help, someone! DH and I have been through rough times before, so we

should be able to do this too, but how!!

Thanks

Karina

[Guest guest]

Oh Karina, did you ever hit the spot! This morning I left having put the

washing machine on and asked DH to empty it when it finished, but not having

washed up Tim's half-empty bowl and beaker, because DH was to be at home all

day working on my car so I reckoned he could find 5 mins to do these things.

I phoned him en route for home at 5.30 to ask what he fancied for tea and

who was shopping. He replied that he couldn't as I had the functional car,

told me his thoughts about tea and said he was going to the gym and would be

home about 8. That meant I had to go shopping with a tired toddler on a

bath night - basically home seven ish then about an hour to deal with

tantrums and bath. Sigh. Oh well, he's saving us about £450 in garage

bills, I'll do it all single handed. But when I got home (at 7.20, very

upset overtired Tim) and found the cereal bowl and beaker unmoved in 11

hours and the washing still in the machine I totally flipped - and even more

so when DH brought Tim in from the car while I was trying to get the bath

ready and put the shopping in the fridge and empty the washing machine and I

just needed him to stay strapped in for 5 minutes while I did it.

I won't dig up all the reasons why I have no answers for you, just say " Oh

my god that could have been me writing " - except that we've gone from me

earning 50% more than DH to him earning 50% more than me so the guilt trip

on expenditure is a big shock to me as well.

God it's difficult.

Anneliese and Toddler Tim who played nicely with Gordon today.

Husbands... and who does what (very long)

I've been wondering whether or not to post about this for a while,

but am going to bite the bullet. It's a bit tricky, since I'm hugely

loyal to DH, and I am sure you all are to your DHs too, so perhaps

you don't want to give me examples from your own situations. - but

it's such a recurring theme with us and it's like a hole we are not

getting out of, so I need some advice.

Basically I think the situation is we love each other and respect

each other, but are both exhausted, and thus keep thinking the other

person gets a better deal and are both looking for someone to blame.

Probably pretty classic, I don't know.

I feel that I have the full responsibility for the kids all through

the week - which is OK. It means if they cry in the night it's me who

comforts them, and if they are up early it's me who gets up with

them. If it's a day when DH and I are both working (3 days per week),

I get the kids changed and ready and give them hugs and do the hand-

over, and it's me who will rush back at 6 to give them supper and

baths and put them to bed. (Unless DH happens to be back early, in

which case he `gives me a hand').If they are ill, or need to go to

the doctor or something else, it's me who takes time off work. If

it's a day when I am at home without the nanny (1 day per week

usually) I of course do all of the above, plus look after the kids in

the day. On the fifth day of the week the nanny comes in and I try to

get some stuff done at home (working from home, plus getting house

sorted after building works) - this is my luxury, as it means I can

go back to sleep for an hour or two at 8 after I've been up with the

kids from 6 and before I get down to working from home.

This is kind of OK - I do enjoy being with the kids although every

day is hectic and I recognise that DH earns most of our income -

well, all, really since my income goes to the nanny - so I don't

really have problems with the fact that it's me who has to take the

practical and emotional responsibility for the kids during the week.

Still it does mean he comes home and puts his feet up, or perhaps

makes dinner, and watches TV until 12,or 1 - whereas I run madly

around the house tidying up toys, making bottles for the baby, put

the washing machine on, check whether we have food and money in the

house for the kids and the nanny, and rush to bed at 11 to try and

get some sleep before someone wakes me up. So DH and I do argue in

the week too - because at 5 minutes to 11 there are a few minor tasks

left to do and I'll ask if he can do them since he is staying up

anyway and I'm accused of nagging, as he needs to relax.

Then comes the weekend and I think we are going to share the

responsibility, but it just doesn't happen. Don't get me wrong - he's

a great Dad - and we try to split some things, so in theory I get up

with them on Saturday and DH on Sunday for example. And if we take

them out, he'll do his share. But it's something about who remembers

that they need meals and a sleep and new clothes and clean clothes

and a hug or some stimulation, or whatever it might be. Who is

running the day - who has a timetable for each child in their head?

That's me, of course. You get my drift - I can ask him to do

anything - change a nappy or give someone breakfast or take someone

out for a walk or read someone a book - and he will do it (and he'll

enjoy it, be cheerful etc). But if I don't ask, it wont happen. So

either I just do the whole thing on my own (makes me upset and

angry), or I will delegate him little simple tasks (makes me feel

marginally better), or wait for him to do something really obvious

which he then doesn't do (makes me have a go at him and he gets

pissed off).

I don't think I resent having to do everything myself - I mean, I

would if I had to - and whenever he is away I just get on with it.

But when he IS around I feel that he should be as an intuitive parent

as I am - why shouldn't he be - I know he is capable of it? I don't

want to be `given a hand' - they are his kids as much as mine - so

why do I have to be the delegator all the time? Also I feel that he

doesn't grasp the full reality of being a parent, as he's still doing

everything he used to do - it's like he is himself with a bit of

parent on the side, whereas I am a parent with a bit of myself on the

side.

(I guess this is another reason behind my indecision wrt work and

home - I'm afraid to go full time because I worked full time after DD

and I still had sole responsibility for the kids during the week

(even though we were both working) and I was totally exhausted with

the different priorities - and I am afraid to quit work entirely

because it will be an additional excuse for him to run his life as he

wants during the week - ie go to bed late, get up late, work as much

as he needs to, etc. - as then we'll rely even more on his job).

Oh I don't know.

I fully understand his position too - he wants to mellow when he is

at home, and it's true that he doesn't get as worked up as me about

things and so he is a really cheerful positive influence in the house

(and he does do other things for us. plan our finances, think about

holidays - ie, long term things that are not repetitive).

Yet it becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy, because the more I have to

do on my own the more it is me who is always tired and grumpy and

nagging and run-down, and I really hate being like that.

Sorry to go on. I feel it's such a banal conflict really, but I just

don't know what to do.

We argue all the time, and I can't see any way out. I don't want to

reconcile myself to the fact because I am the `mum' I have to be the

default for everything to do with the kids (I'm sure my parents split

it better than this) - although this is what I see all my (female)

friends doing. I guess I could just stop doing certain things, but

that doesn't really help either since it's me who would feel guilty

and not him. Or I could just go out sometimes, which means he'll get

on with the absolute basics, but will leave anything else (ie they

will get food and nappies, but no-one will do the washing or follow

up their potty training.)

The main thing is I want us to be able to work through this and so

does he, but at the moment I am just resentful of his `freedom' to

run his own days and of his lack of guilt, and he is resentful of my

two days `off' and the lack of pressure on me to bring home the bacon.

Help, someone! DH and I have been through rough times before, so we

should be able to do this too, but how!!

Thanks

Karina

[Guest guest]

Hee hee. I, like Lonnie, do that thing of waking my partner when he has

failed to be woken by a crying baby. I do feel a bit mean sometimes waking

him to tell him Tabby is awake and can he go and get her but it is all in

the interests of equality..!

Karina, I totally struggle with this too. My partner and I regularly fall

out over the division of household responsibilities.

My partner is better than most, I am sure of that, but still not good

enough for stubborn old me! When he first met me I told him that I had a

housework rota with my ex (was only 21 at the time) he laughed and said that

was ridiculous, but now is coming round to the idea! We are waiting till we

can afford a cleaner so at least there will be less to row about!

Theses are some of the observations i have made about most men I know: a)

they are just not responsive to their surroundings e.g. do not notice dirty

faces, kitchen floors that stick to your feet; lack forward planning e.g.

noticing that we are about to run out of milk, doing the washing before we

entirely run out of clean clothes.

We have sorted some tasks out in our house: washing clothes I do, emptying

bins he does (how gendered!), strict alternate nights for cooking supper,

ditto for washing up, taking it into turns to make Tabby's packed lunches.

Everything else is either rowed about (after me silently harbouring

resentment) or is just a matter of me asking him to do his share and

eventually he does. I just get so cross having to ask the whole time! Just

wish he was intuitive and did the hoovering without being asked.

And for us it isn't do to do with how much we work. At the moment I work PT

and he works FT (but sensible hours), but in the past we have both worked PT

same hours and it was the same. Even when he was doing a day a week

childcare by himself, he still did less and did that common thing of

managing the childcare but not even managing to venture near the washing up.

My SIL thinks I am mad and always reminds me I could do the washing up in

half the time i spend harrassing him to do it, but i just can't help myself!

And the other stupid thing is often when he does something I complain about

how he has done it. For this reason I generally pick out tabby's clothes and

do the food shopping (his efforts make me too cross!)

I don't think anyone really has the answer to it, if they do I'd love to

know it! But the others are right when they suggest discussing it. I know

from talking about it with aaron that he feels guilty about doing less and

wishes he was better at doing stuff, sometimes it does help to know that!

(who is looking forward to having a cup of tea with karina soon and

moaning about our men)

> For me this is mainly weekend stuff (so perhaps easier to deal with) as dh

rarely is home until 8-9 pm and the girls are in bed then.. But I must say

that after 6 months I have made a point out of making sure that he takes his

fair share of the wakeup call's he NEVER wakes up when they cry but I will

wake him and say Eloisa is crying can you go to her.. took a while for him

to get I was serious but now he does it no trouble ;o) So there is hope

out there ;o)...

[Guest guest]

From:

> Several people mentioned relative earnings and related their earnings to

the cost of childcare. This seems a bogus point to me. Speaking

personally, I earn more than dw and this is a factor in her taking on the

primary carer role. The reasons for this are a combination of factors but

one of them is that there are still huge gender pay differentials.

Aaarrhhh!!!! Actually I was earning MORE than my DH when we married and had

a baby, but I chose to stay at home and he chose to stay at work

Just to set the record straight.

[Guest guest]

From:

> Several people mentioned relative earnings and related their earnings to

the cost of childcare. This seems a bogus point to me. Speaking

personally, I earn more than dw and this is a factor in her taking on the

primary carer role. The reasons for this are a combination of factors but

one of them is that there are still huge gender pay differentials.

Aaarrhhh!!!! Actually I was earning MORE than my DH when we married and had

a baby, but I chose to stay at home and he chose to stay at work

Just to set the record straight.

[Guest guest]

> OH my dh does this and it drives me NUTS.. he will get his shoes on then I

> am strapping girls into the car and he is closing the door I am going

> WAIT... the changing bag their drinks (not to mention my shoes) and

> generally I need to go to the toilet as well (pg thing lol)

Add ontop of this - you are just about all sorted and DH says - wait for

it -

" I'll just have a coffee! " Now this really does my head in, and often I have

made him bring the mug in the car and drink it whilst we leave! I keep

meaning to do him a flask of coffee in all my organising so he can't delay

us at the last moment.

One day I will be that sorted )))

[Guest guest]

> OH my dh does this and it drives me NUTS.. he will get his shoes on then I

> am strapping girls into the car and he is closing the door I am going

> WAIT... the changing bag their drinks (not to mention my shoes) and

> generally I need to go to the toilet as well (pg thing lol)

Add ontop of this - you are just about all sorted and DH says - wait for

it -

" I'll just have a coffee! " Now this really does my head in, and often I have

made him bring the mug in the car and drink it whilst we leave! I keep

meaning to do him a flask of coffee in all my organising so he can't delay

us at the last moment.

One day I will be that sorted )))

[Guest guest]

Karina,

I've been wondering whether or not to post about this for a while,

but am going to bite the bullet

Soooo glad you posted this, just goes to show the grass is definitely NOT

greener on the other side. I have read all replies and smiled my way through

them all. We all seem to have similar grips and it is wonderful to realise

we are not alone. Just goes to show we ought to discuss these things more

often to make ourselves feel better about our lot.

I think you should have a pat on the back for being so honest and bringing

the subject up, after all it got me re-posting to the list.

feeling better about her DH despite his " maleness "

[Guest guest]

Karina,

I've been wondering whether or not to post about this for a while,

but am going to bite the bullet

Soooo glad you posted this, just goes to show the grass is definitely NOT

greener on the other side. I have read all replies and smiled my way through

them all. We all seem to have similar grips and it is wonderful to realise

we are not alone. Just goes to show we ought to discuss these things more

often to make ourselves feel better about our lot.

I think you should have a pat on the back for being so honest and bringing

the subject up, after all it got me re-posting to the list.

feeling better about her DH despite his " maleness "

[Guest guest]

Me too - I earned twice what DH did and it was only my stopping

salaried work that forced him to pursue his career. Its OUR money -

any divorce court would see it that way as I regularly point out to

him if he gets snippy about me spending money )

Lesley

ANT, tr BFC, Mother, Wife, Friend, Mender of Broken Hearts,

Keeper of Secrets, Chauffeur, Cook, Maid, Writer. Overweight, Over

thirty, Over here in Worthing..

" Believing Oneself to be perfect is often the sign of a delusional

mind! " Star Trek.

Re: Re: Husbands... and who does what (very

long)

>

> From:

>

> > Several people mentioned relative earnings and related their

earnings to

> the cost of childcare. This seems a bogus point to me. Speaking

> personally, I earn more than dw and this is a factor in her taking

on the

> primary carer role. The reasons for this are a combination of

factors but

> one of them is that there are still huge gender pay differentials.

>

>

> Aaarrhhh!!!! Actually I was earning MORE than my DH when we married

and had

> a baby, but I chose to stay at home and he chose to stay at work

> Just to set the record straight.

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

>> I took the boys up to the Northumberland coast with my mum for 5 days

>And why didn't you visit me?

>Lynda

I do believe you were involved on an exciting jaunt on the North Sea

Ferries!, btw, do the ferries still run from Newcastle across to

Holland, or only to Scandinavia?

Curran

Mum to 4 boys. Co-Chair, MVA, Valley cushion agent, homebirth support

and booking clerk Selby Rural NCT

Region 7 Secretary

[Guest guest]

<

>

I would have a fit if my dh did that and I don't think I could be as tolerant as

you and say ok have it in the car ;o)...

Lonnie Phoebe & Eloisa's mama

& expecting a Christmas delivery...

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you

start.

So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a Chocolate cake.

I feel better already.

[Guest guest]

<

>

I would have a fit if my dh did that and I don't think I could be as tolerant as

you and say ok have it in the car ;o)...

Lonnie Phoebe & Eloisa's mama

& expecting a Christmas delivery...

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you

start.

So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a Chocolate cake.

I feel better already.

[Guest guest]

Well I guess I'm quite lucky with my DH he does do quite a lot, but he

is by no means perfect. I guess because we both work together from

home, he has to pull his weight.

We have divided up our jobs I'm in charge of Finances &

Housework/Laundry he's in charge of Catering & Transport.

I handle all of our finances, because DH is so c**p at it, in fact he

doesn't have an account of his own because of this. ALL of our money

goes into MY account, where all of the bills are paid from. DH has a

visa card but it's my account, he only uses it for petrol or bits and

bobs for his motorbike.

I do all of the housework and laundry but that's only because I'm a

perfectionist. However DH does all of the dishes as that comes under

catering! He also does the shopping list and the shopping, well he

cooks it so he knows what we do and don't need.

I'm sure I've told you all before that I don't drive, so all of the

Driving is down to DH. We have a Bedford Minibus as well as a Montego

7 seater. He sorts out all of the cars himself even does his own

MOTS's, he owns a small garage where he employs a couple of lads who

keep it ticking over during the day and he pops in around 5 and

probably works a couple of hours and does any welding stuff that the

lads couldn't do etc. I however have to remind him when to do the

MOT's, I sort out all of the insurances and Tax discs etc.

DH does the majority of the catering in our home, I just don't enjoy

cooking he does so it works fine, if for some reason I have to do the

tea it will mean us having something probably a pizza or burgers out

of a packet.

I used to do all of the housework and laundry of a weekend, which is

usually when DH is out mucking about on his motorbikes, it dawned on

my 6 or 7 months ago that I don't get any time off. So now I do it all

during the week when he's around just so he can see what I do. This

also means now that of a weekend I do nothing, which seems only fair.

This is when I get lots of NCT stuff sorted on the PC which works well

as the Motorbikes are DH hobby and the NCT mine!

I'm at home at the moment with a 11month old, 18month old, 2 year old,

9 year old, 10, year old and 13 year old. I'm busy ironing, the

tiddlers are having a sleep I'm doing the EEC ironing mountain and the

big ones are all baking in the kitchen.

DH has taken three three year olds, two five year olds and a 8 year

old to the local kids farm and they will be back at 1.30 for lunch.

So he does pull his weight, a bit.

My only gripe is that after being together for 16 years he has never

ever cleaned the toilet.

Oh I sort out all the DIY as well, because he's c**p at it and bodges

it all.

But I still love him, so that's OK.

Tupman

Mum to Matt 13, 10, Jonty 2 & Phil 36

Torbay & S.Devon Branch

NCT Houseswap Register Coordinator

NCT UK Trustee

Go placidly amidst noise and haste.

Why not visit www.nctpregnancyandbabycare.com

Or go shopping with NCT Maternity Sales www.nctms.co.uk

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