Re: husbands .....and who does what

August 20, 2001

In a message dated 21/08/01 00:02:07 GMT Daylight Time,

>

> I've been wondering whether or not to post about this for a while,

> but am going to bite the bullet. It's a bit tricky, since I'm hugely

> loyal to DH, and I am sure you all are to your DHs too, so perhaps

> you don't want to give me examples from your own situations

I echo what everyone else has said. My DH is like a computer if you input the

exact information and instructions he will do things but he will not

anticipate doing anything under his own steam. When the children were younger

I stayed at home and he worked so I did most of the childcare and housework.

But when I trained as a midwife and we were both working full time I still

did everything and I got so stressed trying to think ahead around shifts as

to what needed doing to be ready for when. Nothing has really worked over the

years and I have come to the conclusion that most men just cannot multi-task

and it's no use trying to make them. The other thing that drives me mad is

when he does do something and then says I've done the dishes/washing/ironing

for YOU. I did once put a piece of A4 paper on the wall with everyones names

on it and asked everyone to write on it if they completed a chore. When I had

to add an extra piece under my name he did get the hint and try a bit harder

for a week or 2

I left for work last night for a night shift and all the dishes were waiting

to go into the dishwasher, I came home this morning to all the dishes

including the breakfast ones still sitting on the worktop (in the direct

sunlight so not pleasant) and a message from the kids to say dad couldn't

fill the dishwasher before he went to work today because no-one (ie:ME) had

taken the clean ones out first.!!! Needless to say I am going to bed now and

he can do the dishes later. Kids ALL gone with grandparents to Drayton Manor

Park for the day :-)))

Donna

Mum to (17)

Kimberley(16), Kayleigh(14),

(11), Kara (4) [homebirth at last]

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