Re: Re: Religion and living in sin

[Guest guest]

We lived together for 2 years before getting married. The intention

was there when we bought our first flat we (no, I) just wanted to wait

until I'd finished studying (did final 2 years of accountancy exams

whilst working for the time before we got married).

Interestingly I first starting going out with DH when I was 16 (awwh)

and when I was 18 he wanted to get married, because that's what some

of his friends were doing. I wasn't interested at all as I was off to

Polytechnic for 3 years (tho' lived at home with my parents for those

3 years). By the time I started work (aged 21) at the end of that, he

hadn't mentioned marriage for a good couple of years, though we did

immediately start looking for somewhere to live (now I had a job we

could get a better mortgage - 2 bedroom flat rather than one!)

Neither set of parents said anything about us living together,

although I know my parents weren't keen, but they didn't really say

anything. Come to think of it, they weren't keen on me going out with

a 20 year old when I was sweet 16 either, but I only heard that from

family friend.

DH's parents never said anything to me at all (not sure if they did to

him). But MIL did tell our busy-body neighbour just after we moved

in, that she was most disappointed that we were moving into the flat

before we got married. (Said neighbour told us about it when we told

her we were getting married -along the lines of " ooh, 's mum will

be pleased, she's never been happy that you were just living

together). I later found out that in MIL's book, you either got

married and lived together, or you didn't.

Todman

Treasurer, Stansted Branch (R5)

Mum to , 3½

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 03/07/01 08:28:14 GMT Daylight Time,

nct-coffee writes:

> My mum is Cof E but her only excursions to church in my memory have been on

> Christmas Eve. My dad is Atheist through and through. When I was a child I

> went to Sunday School but that was because a minibus picked us up and my

> mum and dad got Sunday afternoons to themselves for a while. If I remember

> rightly it was a Pentecostal Church Minibus (whatever that is). Neither me,

> my brothers or sister have been christened.

>

> At school I loved RE all the Bible Stories, Hymns etc until I was about 14

> and we started looking more in depth at religion then I just disagreed with

> the teacher more and more and he wasn't happy with me questioning things

> that he was telling the class so I opted out of RE. As far as I can

> remember the only time I have been to a church service has been with school

> either as a child or with my own children at school functions. I have only

> ever been to 1 church wedding, never been to a christening so that leaves a

> few funerals. I suppose now I call myself an Atheist and I make a point of

> putting no religion on forms.

DH is definitely Atheist and always has been. His parents were Cof E but

became Jehovah Witnesses around 20 yrs ago although they still got divorced

just as we were getting married causing all kinds of family arguments. His

mum is still practising but not as fervent as then. We nearly had a falling

out when my firstborn was about 3 mnths old and she asked to have him one

Sunday morning, when asked why she informed us that she had arranged for him

to be blessed at her church..... I was very straight with her and she never

asked again.

None of my children have been christened and only go to church when they have

to with school (apart from a brief religious spell from DD1 which lasted

about 11 mnths and was mostly sparked by someone she liked in a youthgroup).

Their primary school is a Church school but we only had a choice of 2 and I

liked this one (I also went there as a child). I am quite happy for them to

listen to what the school teach and then I give them a another view of

things. I have no objection to them choosing a religion (any religion) if

they so wish but I like them to know that there are many religions and points

of view and that no one is better than any other.

On the census form I asked them what they wanted to put

Me-none

DH-Jedi

DS-Jedi

DD1-Jedi

DD2-None

DD3-None

DD4-None(chosen by me)

Donna

Mum to (17)

Kimberley(16), Kayleigh(14),

(11), Kara (4) [homebirth at last]