Re: Don't Want Children With Autoimmune Diseases

[Guest guest]

If you don't want children, then that's fine. Just because we have a disease,

doesn't mean we shouldn't have children. Graves/Hyper T is treatable. I am not

familiar w/ any other autoimmune disease, so I dont know how those affect you.

I am not going to stop having children just because I have Graves. I will not

get pregnant until I am completely done w/ my treatment. But it is cure able.

My mom was diagnosed w/ graves after having me. She had the RAI and lost

function of half of her thyroid. After she was done w/ that she went from hyper

to hypo, and then went on to have 2 boys, that do not have any signs/symptoms of

it. So while you can pass hyper/hypo down, it doesn't always mean you will get

it. I don't see this as any reason not to have kids. You always take a risk

when you try to have kids. There are a number of genetic disorders that your

child could get that you don't even know about. The ppl on this list are not

" obsessed " , they want as much information as they can get so they can have a

healthy pregnancy. I do not know what situation you are in. You might have a

more difficult disease to deal w/ that you don't want to pass down, and thetas

totally understandable. I guess it is up to the individual person.

Is there a group I could subscribe to where there is no abiding

interest in bringing more people into the world with autoimmune

diseases?

I cannot understand the obsession with becoming pregnant that so many

of the people on this list have when they know that their offspring

may well have Grave's or a much worse disease of the autoimmune

system. I would like to understand it.

Vic

[Guest guest]

If you don't want children, then that's fine. Just because we have a disease,

doesn't mean we shouldn't have children. Graves/Hyper T is treatable. I am not

familiar w/ any other autoimmune disease, so I dont know how those affect you.

I am not going to stop having children just because I have Graves. I will not

get pregnant until I am completely done w/ my treatment. But it is cure able.

My mom was diagnosed w/ graves after having me. She had the RAI and lost

function of half of her thyroid. After she was done w/ that she went from hyper

to hypo, and then went on to have 2 boys, that do not have any signs/symptoms of

it. So while you can pass hyper/hypo down, it doesn't always mean you will get

it. I don't see this as any reason not to have kids. You always take a risk

when you try to have kids. There are a number of genetic disorders that your

child could get that you don't even know about. The ppl on this list are not

" obsessed " , they want as much information as they can get so they can have a

healthy pregnancy. I do not know what situation you are in. You might have a

more difficult disease to deal w/ that you don't want to pass down, and thetas

totally understandable. I guess it is up to the individual person.

Is there a group I could subscribe to where there is no abiding

interest in bringing more people into the world with autoimmune

diseases?

I cannot understand the obsession with becoming pregnant that so many

of the people on this list have when they know that their offspring

may well have Grave's or a much worse disease of the autoimmune

system. I would like to understand it.

Vic

[Guest guest]

If you don't want children, then that's fine. Just because we have a disease,

doesn't mean we shouldn't have children. Graves/Hyper T is treatable. I am not

familiar w/ any other autoimmune disease, so I dont know how those affect you.

I am not going to stop having children just because I have Graves. I will not

get pregnant until I am completely done w/ my treatment. But it is cure able.

My mom was diagnosed w/ graves after having me. She had the RAI and lost

function of half of her thyroid. After she was done w/ that she went from hyper

to hypo, and then went on to have 2 boys, that do not have any signs/symptoms of

it. So while you can pass hyper/hypo down, it doesn't always mean you will get

it. I don't see this as any reason not to have kids. You always take a risk

when you try to have kids. There are a number of genetic disorders that your

child could get that you don't even know about. The ppl on this list are not

" obsessed " , they want as much information as they can get so they can have a

healthy pregnancy. I do not know what situation you are in. You might have a

more difficult disease to deal w/ that you don't want to pass down, and thetas

totally understandable. I guess it is up to the individual person.

Is there a group I could subscribe to where there is no abiding

interest in bringing more people into the world with autoimmune

diseases?

I cannot understand the obsession with becoming pregnant that so many

of the people on this list have when they know that their offspring

may well have Grave's or a much worse disease of the autoimmune

system. I would like to understand it.

Vic

[Guest guest]

Don't Want Children With Autoimmune Diseases

Is there a group I could subscribe to where there is no abiding

interest in bringing more people into the world with autoimmune

diseases?

I cannot understand the obsession with becoming pregnant that so many

of the people on this list have when they know that their offspring

may well have Grave's or a much worse disease of the autoimmune

system. I would like to understand it.

Vic

Vic, life is a game of chance or statistics. I don't know who or what will

get what.

Just because this, or any other disease is genetic, does not mean that every

child conceived by

a 'carrier' will get it. And since wanting children goes with the hope of

progress, I believe,

just because medicine cannot cure me, does not mean medicine cannot cure

them. What was imagined for my

grandfather is totally possible, and most probable, for me. I cannot make

that determination that

my children will not have other possibilities, that I dare not dream, open

to them.

And that is why I with my autoimmune disease want children. Because Vic,

you gotta believe, because

otherwise this is a lonely desolate life with really only one outcome. Vic,

as Tug McGraw, the

amazing Met, the phenomenal Phillie, said, you gotta believe. And I do.

Sue

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the

most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds.

- Abbey, naturalist and author (1927-1989)

[Guest guest]

Don't Want Children With Autoimmune Diseases

Is there a group I could subscribe to where there is no abiding

interest in bringing more people into the world with autoimmune

diseases?

I cannot understand the obsession with becoming pregnant that so many

of the people on this list have when they know that their offspring

may well have Grave's or a much worse disease of the autoimmune

system. I would like to understand it.

Vic

Vic, life is a game of chance or statistics. I don't know who or what will

get what.

Just because this, or any other disease is genetic, does not mean that every

child conceived by

a 'carrier' will get it. And since wanting children goes with the hope of

progress, I believe,

just because medicine cannot cure me, does not mean medicine cannot cure

them. What was imagined for my

grandfather is totally possible, and most probable, for me. I cannot make

that determination that

my children will not have other possibilities, that I dare not dream, open

to them.

And that is why I with my autoimmune disease want children. Because Vic,

you gotta believe, because

otherwise this is a lonely desolate life with really only one outcome. Vic,

as Tug McGraw, the

amazing Met, the phenomenal Phillie, said, you gotta believe. And I do.

Sue

May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the

most amazing view. May your mountains rise into and above the clouds.

- Abbey, naturalist and author (1927-1989)

[Guest guest]

> I cannot understand the obsession with becoming pregnant that so

> many

> of the people on this list have when they know that their offspring

> may well have Grave's or a much worse disease of the autoimmune

> system. I would like to understand it.

You know, the first question drs. ask is family background. I have no

family background of thyroid dysfunction. I know it's useful to know, but

irrelevant in my case. Here is my family background: my mother died of

breast cancer at 46; my father is 72 and has gout, high blood pressure,

slight arthritis that may have been work related (he's retired now); my

maternal grandmother died of Parkinson's with dementia (that scares me

most of all) in her early 60s and my grandfather of heart disease in his

early 70s (he smoked when young); my paternal grandmother of lung cancer

in her late 50s (she never smoked) and grandfather of assorted " old age "

ailments in his late 80s.

What's the reason for this organ recital, you may ask? Simply that all

this never entered in my mind in my decision to have children. (My Graves

started post partum with my last baby.) The possibility of passing on

Graves to any future children doesn't seem too relevant either. Graves is

usually quite manageable, though not without a good amount of effort, as

anyone here knows. In fact, many physical ailments are manageable, and in

fact may even be preventable (take my grandfather's heart condition). I

can understand medical history being a background when one knows of an

(extensive) family history in known ruthless killers such as Tay Sachs,

Huntington's, etc. (i.e. those that strike at the beginning of life or

further on), in which case a couple might decide before deciding to marry

for both partners to get screening to ascertain carrier status.

Autoimmune disease isn't the only potential heartbreaker. ly, there

are no guarantees. All a couple can go into baby planning with is a

desire to express their love for each other and bring another soul into

this world, committed to helping this child be what s/he can be in all

arenas - the physical and spiritual. Anyone here who yearns for another

child sees this child as a potential blessing for his/her family and the

world.

All the best, Fay

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[Guest guest]

Vic,

As you've gotten many good replies to your question on a philosophical level,

let me address an issue as a moderator.

This list is geared toward issues of autoimmune thyroid dysfunction.

Regardless of one's personal beliefs, infertility and complications during

pregnancy are part and parcel of thyroid dysfunction--therefore, they are topics

that are covered on the list as necessary. I don't think a list specifically

geared toward people who don't want to have children is available, although I

could be wrong.

You certainly could start one! If you decide to do that, please let us know and

we can inform people of one more excellent option on the web!

Finally, you'll find that the topics here wan and peak over time. For awhile,

we had very little discussion of fertility and pregnancy. I remember streaks of

focus on the eye disease, antibodies, etc. The emphasis varies. At the moment,

the issue has come up quite a bit because several active participants are either

pregnant or trying to become pregnant. However, this topic will -- as topics

do--inevitably fade a little and then return and repeat the cycle, etc.

Hang in there and you'll probably find the emphasis irons itself out. Hope this

helps.

B

Don't Want Children With Autoimmune Diseases

Is there a group I could subscribe to where there is no abiding

interest in bringing more people into the world with autoimmune

diseases?

I cannot understand the obsession with becoming pregnant that so many

of the people on this list have when they know that their offspring

may well have Grave's or a much worse disease of the autoimmune

system. I would like to understand it.

Vic

[Guest guest]

People who are extremely concerned about having children with a

genetically transmitted condition often choose to adopt. There are

babies and children all over the world who need families and it's

possible some of the people on this list might want to go that route,

not necessarily to avoid having a child with Graves', but to parent a

child if they are experiencing infertility. As an adoptive parent

myself of two children who are now grown, I can heartily recommend it

as a wonderful way to become a parent.

However, in adoption, as in having a child by birth, there are no

guarantees, and you don't know what gene pool you will be jumping

into when you adopt, even more than when you have a child by birth.

Being able to give up a certain amount of control and let things

happen as they will is a prime requirement for adoption, as it is for

giving birth. You come to realize that there are conditions,

diseases, and behaviors that your child might have that you simply

deal with once you know about them.

I hope that everyone on this list who desperately wants a child can

have one--whether by birth or by adoption. Parenting for me has been

a wonderful experience and one I wouldn't have missed.

Northstar

---

In graves_support , " vscottbo "

wrote:

> Is there a group I could subscribe to where there is no abiding

> interest in bringing more people into the world with autoimmune

> diseases?

>

> I cannot understand the obsession with becoming pregnant that so

many

> of the people on this list have when they know that their offspring

> may well have Grave's or a much worse disease of the autoimmune

> system. I would like to understand it.

>

> Vic

[Guest guest]

Hi Vic-

You are welcome to go look for them.

It took me a couple of years after diagnosis to realize that there are no

perfect people in the world. When I was 1st diagnosed, I did not want

children because I didn't want to bring any more suffering into the world.

But then, when I started looking around me, I realized there is no family

that escapes some sort of suffering from an illness. And that most of the

illnesses had a genetic component.

There has been a great increase in the prevalence of autoimmune diseases in

the last 50 years. They do not know why (maybe it's because they innundate

immature immune systems with vaccines all at one time-we would not be

exposed to this many antigens at once in nature, maybe it's a newer

pathogen-either bacterial or viral- that some people are genetically

susceptible to). Whatever the increase in autoimmune disease is caused by,

it's not just genetic and it's relatively new. But they don't know much

about it and I cannot base my life or my family's life on maybes.

Happy New Year!

dx & RAI 1987 (at age 24)

> Is there a group I could subscribe to where there is no abiding

> interest in bringing more people into the world with autoimmune

> diseases?

>

> I cannot understand the obsession with becoming pregnant that so many

> of the people on this list have when they know that their offspring

> may well have Grave's or a much worse disease of the autoimmune

> system. I would like to understand it.

>

> Vic

[Guest guest]

Hi Vic-

You are welcome to go look for them.

It took me a couple of years after diagnosis to realize that there are no

perfect people in the world. When I was 1st diagnosed, I did not want

children because I didn't want to bring any more suffering into the world.

But then, when I started looking around me, I realized there is no family

that escapes some sort of suffering from an illness. And that most of the

illnesses had a genetic component.

There has been a great increase in the prevalence of autoimmune diseases in

the last 50 years. They do not know why (maybe it's because they innundate

immature immune systems with vaccines all at one time-we would not be

exposed to this many antigens at once in nature, maybe it's a newer

pathogen-either bacterial or viral- that some people are genetically

susceptible to). Whatever the increase in autoimmune disease is caused by,

it's not just genetic and it's relatively new. But they don't know much

about it and I cannot base my life or my family's life on maybes.

Happy New Year!

dx & RAI 1987 (at age 24)

> Is there a group I could subscribe to where there is no abiding

> interest in bringing more people into the world with autoimmune

> diseases?

>

> I cannot understand the obsession with becoming pregnant that so many

> of the people on this list have when they know that their offspring

> may well have Grave's or a much worse disease of the autoimmune

> system. I would like to understand it.

>

> Vic

[Guest guest]

I'm finding this whole discussion interesting. I had both my son's before I

knew I had Graves Disease. My first son was stillborn at 33 weeks gestation

due to placenta failure. I was almost 30 years old at the time, no reason

for the failure could be found. Next pregnancy was followed medically very

closely due to the previous year's stillbirth. My second son was born alive

and well, but only after a c-section. We almost lost him to another failing

placenta during childbirth. My mother never had one reproductive problem,

all three of her daughter did. One daughter has secondary infertility for no

explained reason, I have placentas that die off too early in the pregnancy

and the other daughter has fallopian tubes that are kinked and misformed.

She'd never have conceived naturally and had to go with IVF to have her

children.

I didn't know I had Graves Disease but looking back all my doctors believe

it played a part in my reproductive problems. Would I have still had

children if I knew I had a disease they *possibly* could get? Absolutely!

Hey, out of the 4 children my parents created, three are autoimmune disease

free and I am the only one who inherited the Graves. In my husband's family

it's just himself and his brother. There is Graves in his family too and his

brother was diagnosed a year ago at age 39. My husband is autoimmune disease

free.

There is an enormous chance my son could end up with Graves or some other

autoimmune disorder, but there is also an enormous chance that he won't end

up with any autoimmune disease. Life is nothing more than a genetic " crap

shoot " . The fact that my son has blue eyes shows that! My husband and I are

both hazel eyed, but the blue eye gene is on both sides of the family. The

brown eye gene is normally the predominant gene but somehow the blue eyed

gene won out! My son has the most incredible blue eyes, crystal blue around

the pupil darkening to a dark blue ring on the outer edge of the iris. The

odds of him being born blue eyed in a family that is heavily brown eyed or

hazel eyed was slim, but there he is with his arrestingly gorgeous blue

eyes!

What I'm getting at is there are no guarantees. My cousin's son has all

kinds of medical problems, but they are problems that normally " run " in

families, only they don't run in our family or her husband's family. Having

children is a huge decision even without worrying about autoimmune disease

being passed along. Sick children are born to healthy parents all the time,

and many times healthy children are born to sick parents. I know I rambled,

sorry, but I think some of my feelings came through.

in MA, USA

Diagnosed w/Graves, March 1997

So far refusing RAI Treatment and Surgery!!!

Off Meds Since June 2000

Surpressed TSH and somehwat normal thyroid levels

Labs taken 10/21/02 show not too hyper, no meds needed.

[Guest guest]

I'm finding this whole discussion interesting. I had both my son's before I

knew I had Graves Disease. My first son was stillborn at 33 weeks gestation

due to placenta failure. I was almost 30 years old at the time, no reason

for the failure could be found. Next pregnancy was followed medically very

closely due to the previous year's stillbirth. My second son was born alive

and well, but only after a c-section. We almost lost him to another failing

placenta during childbirth. My mother never had one reproductive problem,

all three of her daughter did. One daughter has secondary infertility for no

explained reason, I have placentas that die off too early in the pregnancy

and the other daughter has fallopian tubes that are kinked and misformed.

She'd never have conceived naturally and had to go with IVF to have her

children.

I didn't know I had Graves Disease but looking back all my doctors believe

it played a part in my reproductive problems. Would I have still had

children if I knew I had a disease they *possibly* could get? Absolutely!

Hey, out of the 4 children my parents created, three are autoimmune disease

free and I am the only one who inherited the Graves. In my husband's family

it's just himself and his brother. There is Graves in his family too and his

brother was diagnosed a year ago at age 39. My husband is autoimmune disease

free.

There is an enormous chance my son could end up with Graves or some other

autoimmune disorder, but there is also an enormous chance that he won't end

up with any autoimmune disease. Life is nothing more than a genetic " crap

shoot " . The fact that my son has blue eyes shows that! My husband and I are

both hazel eyed, but the blue eye gene is on both sides of the family. The

brown eye gene is normally the predominant gene but somehow the blue eyed

gene won out! My son has the most incredible blue eyes, crystal blue around

the pupil darkening to a dark blue ring on the outer edge of the iris. The

odds of him being born blue eyed in a family that is heavily brown eyed or

hazel eyed was slim, but there he is with his arrestingly gorgeous blue

eyes!

What I'm getting at is there are no guarantees. My cousin's son has all

kinds of medical problems, but they are problems that normally " run " in

families, only they don't run in our family or her husband's family. Having

children is a huge decision even without worrying about autoimmune disease

being passed along. Sick children are born to healthy parents all the time,

and many times healthy children are born to sick parents. I know I rambled,

sorry, but I think some of my feelings came through.

in MA, USA

Diagnosed w/Graves, March 1997

So far refusing RAI Treatment and Surgery!!!

Off Meds Since June 2000

Surpressed TSH and somehwat normal thyroid levels

Labs taken 10/21/02 show not too hyper, no meds needed.

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jody,

I didn't respond to because this topic is very close to my

heart and I have also heard that its not a 100 % gaurantee that my

child would be born with graves disease or develop it later in life so

there is a chance that my child won't even have it but if the child

does get it where it is hereditary then I will be armed with the best

of knowledge to help the child along like you said.

Also,

I may not even be able to have a biological child but thats ok I

plan to adopt in 2 years if I don't get pregnant.

No I don't wish that my child have graves but if they do its a disease

that you can live with and it can go into remission as well.

Alyssa

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jody,

I didn't respond to because this topic is very close to my

heart and I have also heard that its not a 100 % gaurantee that my

child would be born with graves disease or develop it later in life so

there is a chance that my child won't even have it but if the child

does get it where it is hereditary then I will be armed with the best

of knowledge to help the child along like you said.

Also,

I may not even be able to have a biological child but thats ok I

plan to adopt in 2 years if I don't get pregnant.

No I don't wish that my child have graves but if they do its a disease

that you can live with and it can go into remission as well.

Alyssa

[Guest guest]

Anytime you have a child you are taking a chance. This is life and anything

could happen...these children that have problems,do you think they wish they

weren't born? I don't think so,they are probably glad they have life. We all

have to die,but that doesn't mean we shouldn't have been born.

The longing for children is natural.

[Guest guest]

As a mother of a daughter with Graves' and no known autoimmune issues in

either myself or my husband, I can't imagine not having my daughter, Amy. I

ache for what she has to deal with, and hope that she is able to have her own

children. I pray daily for her healing and for protection for my other three

children.

But to think of not having a child simply to avoid a disease, it's

unthinkable to me. My daughter is learning how to deal with something very

difficult for her personally and I see it making her a better person in the

long run.

And I agree that there are lots of other illnesses that could be much worse

than Graves', with no ability to foresee it coming.

Amy's Pam

[Guest guest]

There is a history of cancer in my family. Heart attacks too. Guess

reproducing is only for those in perfect health.

Not to mention, no one in my family has Graves besides me.

Clair

-- In graves_support , " vscottbo "

wrote:

> Is there a group I could subscribe to where there is no abiding

> interest in bringing more people into the world with autoimmune

> diseases?

>

> I cannot understand the obsession with becoming pregnant that so

many

> of the people on this list have when they know that their offspring

> may well have Grave's or a much worse disease of the autoimmune

> system. I would like to understand it.

>

> Vic

[Guest guest]

All this discussion reminds me of the days when I was childless and not

by choice. It was long before I developed Graves disease. At that time

no one in my family had been diagnosed with autoimmune disorders. When

we adopted 2 children, our family was complete. But guess what? One of

those children was not perfect and developed learning disabilities and

attention deficit disorder.

When I was gravely ill in the hospital my children, now grown,

visited me daily. Their devotion was inspiring.

Photoartist 60

-- In graves_support , " vscottbo "

wrote:

> Is there a group I could subscribe to where there is no abiding

> interest in bringing more people into the world with autoimmune

> diseases?

>

> I cannot understand the obsession with becoming pregnant that so

many

> of the people on this list have when they know that their offspring

> may well have Grave's or a much worse disease of the autoimmune

> system. I would like to understand it.

>

> Vic

[Guest guest]

All this discussion reminds me of the days when I was childless and not

by choice. It was long before I developed Graves disease. At that time

no one in my family had been diagnosed with autoimmune disorders. When

we adopted 2 children, our family was complete. But guess what? One of

those children was not perfect and developed learning disabilities and

attention deficit disorder.

When I was gravely ill in the hospital my children, now grown,

visited me daily. Their devotion was inspiring.

Photoartist 60

-- In graves_support , " vscottbo "

wrote:

> Is there a group I could subscribe to where there is no abiding

> interest in bringing more people into the world with autoimmune

> diseases?

>

> I cannot understand the obsession with becoming pregnant that so

many

> of the people on this list have when they know that their offspring

> may well have Grave's or a much worse disease of the autoimmune

> system. I would like to understand it.

>

> Vic

[Guest guest]

This is a question I am sure lots of people ask themselves when they have a

disease or illness. I for one asked the same question because I watched so

many people die on my fathers side from cancer in the last 30+ years.

Everyone on my fathers side has died from cancer, but one my cousin died in

a tornado. Today my dad has three siblings that are cancer survivors, a big

change from cancer in my family years ago.

My first two children were born before I was diagnosed with GD. Our

youngest was born when I was being treated with TAP. Which my doctor NEVER

told me not to get pregnant on TAP, of course I was switched to PTU when we

found out. Do I worry about my children being diagnosed with this disease,

of course I do. If they are I am so glad I am part of this group that has

helped educate me and you can be sure I will support them and help them all

I can. They won't feel alone like I did, they understand completely what

this disease did to me when I was so sick.

I've enjoyed reading the responses. When I first joined this group we were

a little over 100 people, now look how we've grown. The knowledge, the

questions, the posts sometimes overwhelm me but I would hope that someday we

can say we made a difference, because we didn't sit back and let this

disease consume us. Instead we've educated ourselves and helped each other.

My children are my families future and I feel it is my duty to educate

myself for their future and my grandchildren someday. We are so lucky to

have the resources that we do today, our parents weren't so lucky.

Debbie R.

[Guest guest]

Debbie,

This is so well said! Thanks,

Terry

>

> Reply-To: graves_support

> Date: Thu, 02 Jan 2003 14:50:23 -0800

> To: graves_support >

> Subject: Re: Don't Want Children With Autoimmune Diseases

>

> I've enjoyed reading the responses. When I first joined this group we were

> a little over 100 people, now look how we've grown. The knowledge, the

> questions, the posts sometimes overwhelm me but I would hope that someday we

> can say we made a difference, because we didn't sit back and let this

> disease consume us. Instead we've educated ourselves and helped each other.

> My children are my families future and I feel it is my duty to educate

> myself for their future and my grandchildren someday. We are so lucky to

> have the resources that we do today, our parents weren't so lucky.

>

> Debbie R.

>