Guest guest Posted April 11, 2009 Report Share Posted April 11, 2009 Hi all, Sorry I haven't been around, I had a problem with my lap-top, ended up calling it HAL out of 2001 a space odessy (I don't think you want to do that Dave) I ended up karate chopping it and killing it outright I've also been battling depression. Never had to do that before, it's funny how it gets you isn't it. Tick along dealing with the big things, you think you're doing ok. Burn the onions and it's the end of the world. I realised I needed help when I couldn't deal with the washing up water being too hot! I didn't have the facility to think 'oh the waters too hot, add some cold' but ended up in a quivering heap on the bed instead. Over here getting a counsellor to talk to is quite a long winded process and there is a waiting list of several months unless you are on the brink of suicide, (which through out all this time I have never contemplated). My chest physician, however, was fantastic, and started to book me in as the last patient of the day, so that I had all the time I needed to talk. Part of the problems that I'd been having was that the last time I'd seen my tx consultant he didn't give me anything positive to hold on to. He gave me all the downsides of not having a tx and all the downsides of having one, which really left me thinking 'what's the bloody point?'. I also think it was a kick back from the stress of moving. You know, you hold things together while you have to, but once a bit of stress is released you unravel like a tightly coiled spring. Interestingly my chest physician wasn't surprised that I'd unravelled, but was surprised that I hadn't unravelled sooner! Evidently she knows me better than I do I realise I am very lucky with my chest physician, and I'm so grateful that she is my doc. I'm still quite fragile emotionally, but at least I can go for days without having an episode now, rather than hours! I have some coping strategies and am able to see an episode coming and can usually get myself out of the situation before it becomes a trauma. It was partly this fragile emotional state that's kept me away. Just not able to deal with things and sticking that big ostrich like head of mine firmly in the sand. I'm booked to go in for my tx evaluation on 20th April. I was supposed to have gone the other week, but that got cancelled due to an emergency on the ward and I was left without a bed. Rob and I had already left and got the call to say it wasn't happening at the worst possible point on the journey, stuck in a huge traffic jam and unable to turn round for about 3 miles! Other than that, my pft's are stablish, I did have a nasty chest infection at the beginning of the year which has caused a bit more damage, which is annoying, and I had to raise the pred up again and go on some heavy duty anti-bi's to clear it, but am off them again now, and, touch wood, haven't had a major infection since then. Not bad since it's hayfever season and that usually ends up getting on my chest! Hope you are all well Love Ze xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2009 Report Share Posted April 11, 2009 Zena, I've been to Depression and I know how painful it is!!! Take care of you!!!Give yourself time to heal emotionally and just rest. Don't be hard on yourself..Thank G-d that your Chest doc is a listening kind of person!!! Many of us have experienced all sorts of emotional messes..and again ...we get it! It's just not PF that joins us but everything else that comes along for the entire ride. Have a peaceful and tasty Easter and feel better. Z fibriotic NSIP/05 Z 65, fibriotic NSIP/05/PA And “mild” PH/10/07 and Reynaud’s too!! No, NSIP was not self-inflicted…I never smoked! Potter, reader,carousel lover and MomMom to Darah and Sara “I’m gonna be iron like a lion in Zion” Bob Marley Vinca Minor-periwinkle is my flower Zena wrote: Hi all, Sorry I haven't been around, I had a problem with my lap-top, ended up calling it HAL out of 2001 a space odessy (I don't think you want to do that Dave) I ended up karate chopping it and killing it outright I've also been battling depression. Never had to do that before, it's funny how it gets you isn't it. Tick along dealing with the big things, you think you're doing ok. Burn the onions and it's the end of the world. I realised I needed help when I couldn't deal with the washing up water being too hot! I didn't have the facility to think 'oh the waters too hot, add some cold' but ended up in a quivering heap on the bed instead. Over here getting a counsellor to talk to is quite a long winded process and there is a waiting list of several months unless you are on the brink of suicide, (which through out all this time I have never contemplated). My chest physician, however, was fantastic, and started to book me in as the last patient of the day, so that I had all the time I needed to talk. Part of the problems that I'd been having was that the last time I'd seen my tx consultant he didn't give me anything positive to hold on to. He gave me all the downsides of not having a tx and all the downsides of having one, which really left me thinking 'what's the bloody point?'. I also think it was a kick back from the stress of moving. You know, you hold things together while you have to, but once a bit of stress is released you unravel like a tightly coiled spring. Interestingly my chest physician wasn't surprised that I'd unravelled, but was surprised that I hadn't unravelled sooner! Evidently she knows me better than I do I realise I am very lucky with my chest physician, and I'm so grateful that she is my doc. I'm still quite fragile emotionally, but at least I can go for days without having an episode now, rather than hours! I have some coping strategies and am able to see an episode coming and can usually get myself out of the situation before it becomes a trauma. It was partly this fragile emotional state that's kept me away. Just not able to deal with things and sticking that big ostrich like head of mine firmly in the sand. I'm booked to go in for my tx evaluation on 20th April. I was supposed to have gone the other week, but that got cancelled due to an emergency on the ward and I was left without a bed. Rob and I had already left and got the call to say it wasn't happening at the worst possible point on the journey, stuck in a huge traffic jam and unable to turn round for about 3 miles! Other than that, my pft's are stablish, I did have a nasty chest infection at the beginning of the year which has caused a bit more damage, which is annoying, and I had to raise the pred up again and go on some heavy duty anti-bi's to clear it, but am off them again now, and, touch wood, haven't had a major infection since then. Not bad since it's hayfever season and that usually ends up getting on my chest! Hope you are all well Love Ze xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2009 Report Share Posted April 11, 2009 Zena, I've been to Depression and I know how painful it is!!! Take care of you!!!Give yourself time to heal emotionally and just rest. Don't be hard on yourself..Thank G-d that your Chest doc is a listening kind of person!!! Many of us have experienced all sorts of emotional messes..and again ...we get it! It's just not PF that joins us but everything else that comes along for the entire ride. Have a peaceful and tasty Easter and feel better. Z fibriotic NSIP/05 Z 65, fibriotic NSIP/05/PA And “mild” PH/10/07 and Reynaud’s too!! No, NSIP was not self-inflicted…I never smoked! Potter, reader,carousel lover and MomMom to Darah and Sara “I’m gonna be iron like a lion in Zion” Bob Marley Vinca Minor-periwinkle is my flower Zena wrote: Hi all, Sorry I haven't been around, I had a problem with my lap-top, ended up calling it HAL out of 2001 a space odessy (I don't think you want to do that Dave) I ended up karate chopping it and killing it outright I've also been battling depression. Never had to do that before, it's funny how it gets you isn't it. Tick along dealing with the big things, you think you're doing ok. Burn the onions and it's the end of the world. I realised I needed help when I couldn't deal with the washing up water being too hot! I didn't have the facility to think 'oh the waters too hot, add some cold' but ended up in a quivering heap on the bed instead. Over here getting a counsellor to talk to is quite a long winded process and there is a waiting list of several months unless you are on the brink of suicide, (which through out all this time I have never contemplated). My chest physician, however, was fantastic, and started to book me in as the last patient of the day, so that I had all the time I needed to talk. Part of the problems that I'd been having was that the last time I'd seen my tx consultant he didn't give me anything positive to hold on to. He gave me all the downsides of not having a tx and all the downsides of having one, which really left me thinking 'what's the bloody point?'. I also think it was a kick back from the stress of moving. You know, you hold things together while you have to, but once a bit of stress is released you unravel like a tightly coiled spring. Interestingly my chest physician wasn't surprised that I'd unravelled, but was surprised that I hadn't unravelled sooner! Evidently she knows me better than I do I realise I am very lucky with my chest physician, and I'm so grateful that she is my doc. I'm still quite fragile emotionally, but at least I can go for days without having an episode now, rather than hours! I have some coping strategies and am able to see an episode coming and can usually get myself out of the situation before it becomes a trauma. It was partly this fragile emotional state that's kept me away. Just not able to deal with things and sticking that big ostrich like head of mine firmly in the sand. I'm booked to go in for my tx evaluation on 20th April. I was supposed to have gone the other week, but that got cancelled due to an emergency on the ward and I was left without a bed. Rob and I had already left and got the call to say it wasn't happening at the worst possible point on the journey, stuck in a huge traffic jam and unable to turn round for about 3 miles! Other than that, my pft's are stablish, I did have a nasty chest infection at the beginning of the year which has caused a bit more damage, which is annoying, and I had to raise the pred up again and go on some heavy duty anti-bi's to clear it, but am off them again now, and, touch wood, haven't had a major infection since then. Not bad since it's hayfever season and that usually ends up getting on my chest! Hope you are all well Love Ze xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2009 Report Share Posted April 11, 2009 Zena, I am so glad that you are back. I am so sorry to hear of the struggles with depression that you have endured. I was wondering about the coping strategies that help you. I was wondering if you might share it with us here on the board. With our monster disease, we need to learn as much as we can. I know I get depressed from time to time but I have been on zoloft for so long that I am a zombie. LOL Keep in touch with, Zenz. You were missed! Toodles! Jane UIP/IPF 12/1998 Dalton Georgia aka pianolady_musicgirl > > > Hi all, > > Sorry I haven't been around, I had a problem with my lap-top, ended up > calling it HAL out of 2001 a space odessy (I don't think you want to do > that Dave) I ended up karate chopping it and killing it outright [[-(] > > I've also been battling depression. Never had to do that before, it's > funny how it gets you isn't it. Tick along dealing with the big > things, you think you're doing ok. Burn the onions and it's the end of > the world. I realised I needed help when I couldn't deal with the > washing up water being too hot! I didn't have the facility to think 'oh > the waters too hot, add some cold' but ended up in a quivering heap on > the bed instead. Over here getting a counsellor to talk to is quite a > long winded process and there is a waiting list of several months unless > you are on the brink of suicide, (which through out all this time I have > never contemplated). My chest physician, however, was fantastic, and > started to book me in as the last patient of the day, so that I had all > the time I needed to talk. Part of the problems that I'd been having > was that the last time I'd seen my tx consultant he didn't give me > anything positive to hold on to. He gave me all the downsides of not > having a tx and all the downsides of having one, which really left me > thinking 'what's the bloody point?'. > > I also think it was a kick back from the stress of moving. You know, > you hold things together while you have to, but once a bit of stress is > released you unravel like a tightly coiled spring. Interestingly my > chest physician wasn't surprised that I'd unravelled, but was surprised > that I hadn't unravelled sooner! Evidently she knows me better than I > do [] > > I realise I am very lucky with my chest physician, and I'm so grateful > that she is my doc. I'm still quite fragile emotionally, but at least I > can go for days without having an episode now, rather than hours! I > have some coping strategies and am able to see an episode coming and can > usually get myself out of the situation before it becomes a trauma. > > It was partly this fragile emotional state that's kept me away. Just > not able to deal with things and sticking that big ostrich like head of > mine firmly in the sand. > > I'm booked to go in for my tx evaluation on 20th April. I was supposed > to have gone the other week, but that got cancelled due to an emergency > on the ward and I was left without a bed. Rob and I had already left > and got the call to say it wasn't happening at the worst possible point > on the journey, stuck in a huge traffic jam and unable to turn round for > about 3 miles! > > Other than that, my pft's are stablish, I did have a nasty chest > infection at the beginning of the year which has caused a bit more > damage, which is annoying, and I had to raise the pred up again and go > on some heavy duty anti-bi's to clear it, but am off them again now, > and, touch wood, haven't had a major infection since then. Not bad > since it's hayfever season and that usually ends up getting on my chest! > > Hope you are all well > > Love Ze xx > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 11, 2009 Report Share Posted April 11, 2009 Zena, I am so glad that you are back. I am so sorry to hear of the struggles with depression that you have endured. I was wondering about the coping strategies that help you. I was wondering if you might share it with us here on the board. With our monster disease, we need to learn as much as we can. I know I get depressed from time to time but I have been on zoloft for so long that I am a zombie. LOL Keep in touch with, Zenz. You were missed! Toodles! Jane UIP/IPF 12/1998 Dalton Georgia aka pianolady_musicgirl > > > Hi all, > > Sorry I haven't been around, I had a problem with my lap-top, ended up > calling it HAL out of 2001 a space odessy (I don't think you want to do > that Dave) I ended up karate chopping it and killing it outright [[-(] > > I've also been battling depression. Never had to do that before, it's > funny how it gets you isn't it. Tick along dealing with the big > things, you think you're doing ok. Burn the onions and it's the end of > the world. I realised I needed help when I couldn't deal with the > washing up water being too hot! I didn't have the facility to think 'oh > the waters too hot, add some cold' but ended up in a quivering heap on > the bed instead. Over here getting a counsellor to talk to is quite a > long winded process and there is a waiting list of several months unless > you are on the brink of suicide, (which through out all this time I have > never contemplated). My chest physician, however, was fantastic, and > started to book me in as the last patient of the day, so that I had all > the time I needed to talk. Part of the problems that I'd been having > was that the last time I'd seen my tx consultant he didn't give me > anything positive to hold on to. He gave me all the downsides of not > having a tx and all the downsides of having one, which really left me > thinking 'what's the bloody point?'. > > I also think it was a kick back from the stress of moving. You know, > you hold things together while you have to, but once a bit of stress is > released you unravel like a tightly coiled spring. Interestingly my > chest physician wasn't surprised that I'd unravelled, but was surprised > that I hadn't unravelled sooner! Evidently she knows me better than I > do [] > > I realise I am very lucky with my chest physician, and I'm so grateful > that she is my doc. I'm still quite fragile emotionally, but at least I > can go for days without having an episode now, rather than hours! I > have some coping strategies and am able to see an episode coming and can > usually get myself out of the situation before it becomes a trauma. > > It was partly this fragile emotional state that's kept me away. Just > not able to deal with things and sticking that big ostrich like head of > mine firmly in the sand. > > I'm booked to go in for my tx evaluation on 20th April. I was supposed > to have gone the other week, but that got cancelled due to an emergency > on the ward and I was left without a bed. Rob and I had already left > and got the call to say it wasn't happening at the worst possible point > on the journey, stuck in a huge traffic jam and unable to turn round for > about 3 miles! > > Other than that, my pft's are stablish, I did have a nasty chest > infection at the beginning of the year which has caused a bit more > damage, which is annoying, and I had to raise the pred up again and go > on some heavy duty anti-bi's to clear it, but am off them again now, > and, touch wood, haven't had a major infection since then. Not bad > since it's hayfever season and that usually ends up getting on my chest! > > Hope you are all well > > Love Ze xx > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2009 Report Share Posted April 12, 2009 Hi Jane and everyone, thanks for your replies. The main strategies that I've been given is to get out. Once I notice the danger signs, get out on my own (or with the dog) for a little while. If getting out isn't possible, then lock myself away in the bedroom or bathroom and do some deep slow breathing. I sat Rob down and talked to him about what I was going through, and when I'm having a rough patch I simply can't deal with more than one thing at a time. He needed to be more aware of this so that he can be helpful in, say, entertaining Lili so that I can concentrate on the one thing that I'm doing. Taking the dog out = no demands on me. I've had to learn to give myself permission to 'feel' too. I've paid lipservice to this before, many times, but apparently I wasn't taking my own advice. But if I'm feeling angry, be angry, if I'm feeling sad, be sad. The trouble with this is that I don't really want my daughter to see mummy being sad or angry. As she's 6 she tends to take on the responsibility of it being her fault, so I hold it together. Which is fine for a short time, but now I warn Rob before he comes home from work so that I can have some release of my feelings. It's not that I think she shouldn't see my emotions, but that she's too young to understand that it's not her fault. (one realise that REALLY worked was when I went round to the communal bin area and smashed what was left of my crockery straight into the bin. Got some funny looks, but, hey, I felt better) I seem to have mental energy that needs to be 'run off' but don't have the physical capabilities of doing it. I'd been getting very frustrated at my physicial capabilities and losing my independance. I felt that I was letting Lili down not being able to take her out for long and generally not being able to just 'do'. We're working on that. The other day I had a lovely walk in the woods as the woods are near me, but up a steep hill to get to them. Rob drove me and the dog to one end of the woods, he then drove back and he and Lili had the adventure of having to find me. So I had some quiet time and Lili had some quality family time all at the same time. I find it very frustrating to be told how strong my body is when we're not talking about anything lung related. All my other organ functions are excellant. This is something to be happy about, I know, especially as I'm hoping for a tx. But it's so bloody annoying to know that if my lungs worked, just how fit I'd be right now! So after that ramble, I suppose the coping mechanisms are being aware of when things are getting to me and get out of the situation. Get Rob on board to be aware that I need help NOW, not when he's ready, or finished what he's doing, but NOW. Remember not to take on too much at one time. Remember that I can't multitask at the moment. Keep talking. Keep breathing. It's funny how you don't realise how much your on line communities mean either. I was at my worst when I didn't have access to the internet, but didn't put the two together. Now I'm closely involved with 3 communities and can waffle away whatever I'm feeling, and that helps, it really does. A case of not knowing what you've got til it's gone I think. Love Ze xx > >> >> > Hi all,> >> > Sorry I haven't been around, I had a problem with my lap-top, ended up> > calling it HAL out of 2001 a space odessy (I don't think you want to> do> > that Dave) I ended up karate chopping it and killing it outright [[-(]> >> > I've also been battling depression. Never had to do that before, it's> > funny how it gets you isn't it. Tick along dealing with the big> > things, you think you're doing ok. Burn the onions and it's the end of> > the world. I realised I needed help when I couldn't deal with the> > washing up water being too hot! I didn't have the facility to think> 'oh> > the waters too hot, add some cold' but ended up in a quivering heap on> > the bed instead. Over here getting a counsellor to talk to is quite a> > long winded process and there is a waiting list of several months> unless> > you are on the brink of suicide, (which through out all this time I> have> > never contemplated). My chest physician, however, was fantastic, and> > started to book me in as the last patient of the day, so that I had> all> > the time I needed to talk. Part of the problems that I'd been having> > was that the last time I'd seen my tx consultant he didn't give me> > anything positive to hold on to. He gave me all the downsides of not> > having a tx and all the downsides of having one, which really left me> > thinking 'what's the bloody point?'.> >> > I also think it was a kick back from the stress of moving. You know,> > you hold things together while you have to, but once a bit of stress> is> > released you unravel like a tightly coiled spring. Interestingly my> > chest physician wasn't surprised that I'd unravelled, but was> surprised> > that I hadn't unravelled sooner! Evidently she knows me better than I> > do []> >> > I realise I am very lucky with my chest physician, and I'm so grateful> > that she is my doc. I'm still quite fragile emotionally, but at least> I> > can go for days without having an episode now, rather than hours! I> > have some coping strategies and am able to see an episode coming and> can> > usually get myself out of the situation before it becomes a trauma.> >> > It was partly this fragile emotional state that's kept me away. Just> > not able to deal with things and sticking that big ostrich like head> of> > mine firmly in the sand.> >> > I'm booked to go in for my tx evaluation on 20th April. I was supposed> > to have gone the other week, but that got cancelled due to an> emergency> > on the ward and I was left without a bed. Rob and I had already left> > and got the call to say it wasn't happening at the worst possible> point> > on the journey, stuck in a huge traffic jam and unable to turn round> for> > about 3 miles!> >> > Other than that, my pft's are stablish, I did have a nasty chest> > infection at the beginning of the year which has caused a bit more> > damage, which is annoying, and I had to raise the pred up again and go> > on some heavy duty anti-bi's to clear it, but am off them again now,> > and, touch wood, haven't had a major infection since then. Not bad> > since it's hayfever season and that usually ends up getting on my> chest!> >> > Hope you are all well> >> > Love Ze xx> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 12, 2009 Report Share Posted April 12, 2009 Hi Jane and everyone, thanks for your replies. The main strategies that I've been given is to get out. Once I notice the danger signs, get out on my own (or with the dog) for a little while. If getting out isn't possible, then lock myself away in the bedroom or bathroom and do some deep slow breathing. I sat Rob down and talked to him about what I was going through, and when I'm having a rough patch I simply can't deal with more than one thing at a time. He needed to be more aware of this so that he can be helpful in, say, entertaining Lili so that I can concentrate on the one thing that I'm doing. Taking the dog out = no demands on me. I've had to learn to give myself permission to 'feel' too. I've paid lipservice to this before, many times, but apparently I wasn't taking my own advice. But if I'm feeling angry, be angry, if I'm feeling sad, be sad. The trouble with this is that I don't really want my daughter to see mummy being sad or angry. As she's 6 she tends to take on the responsibility of it being her fault, so I hold it together. Which is fine for a short time, but now I warn Rob before he comes home from work so that I can have some release of my feelings. It's not that I think she shouldn't see my emotions, but that she's too young to understand that it's not her fault. (one realise that REALLY worked was when I went round to the communal bin area and smashed what was left of my crockery straight into the bin. Got some funny looks, but, hey, I felt better) I seem to have mental energy that needs to be 'run off' but don't have the physical capabilities of doing it. I'd been getting very frustrated at my physicial capabilities and losing my independance. I felt that I was letting Lili down not being able to take her out for long and generally not being able to just 'do'. We're working on that. The other day I had a lovely walk in the woods as the woods are near me, but up a steep hill to get to them. Rob drove me and the dog to one end of the woods, he then drove back and he and Lili had the adventure of having to find me. So I had some quiet time and Lili had some quality family time all at the same time. I find it very frustrating to be told how strong my body is when we're not talking about anything lung related. All my other organ functions are excellant. This is something to be happy about, I know, especially as I'm hoping for a tx. But it's so bloody annoying to know that if my lungs worked, just how fit I'd be right now! So after that ramble, I suppose the coping mechanisms are being aware of when things are getting to me and get out of the situation. Get Rob on board to be aware that I need help NOW, not when he's ready, or finished what he's doing, but NOW. Remember not to take on too much at one time. Remember that I can't multitask at the moment. Keep talking. Keep breathing. It's funny how you don't realise how much your on line communities mean either. I was at my worst when I didn't have access to the internet, but didn't put the two together. Now I'm closely involved with 3 communities and can waffle away whatever I'm feeling, and that helps, it really does. A case of not knowing what you've got til it's gone I think. Love Ze xx > >> >> > Hi all,> >> > Sorry I haven't been around, I had a problem with my lap-top, ended up> > calling it HAL out of 2001 a space odessy (I don't think you want to> do> > that Dave) I ended up karate chopping it and killing it outright [[-(]> >> > I've also been battling depression. Never had to do that before, it's> > funny how it gets you isn't it. Tick along dealing with the big> > things, you think you're doing ok. Burn the onions and it's the end of> > the world. I realised I needed help when I couldn't deal with the> > washing up water being too hot! I didn't have the facility to think> 'oh> > the waters too hot, add some cold' but ended up in a quivering heap on> > the bed instead. Over here getting a counsellor to talk to is quite a> > long winded process and there is a waiting list of several months> unless> > you are on the brink of suicide, (which through out all this time I> have> > never contemplated). My chest physician, however, was fantastic, and> > started to book me in as the last patient of the day, so that I had> all> > the time I needed to talk. Part of the problems that I'd been having> > was that the last time I'd seen my tx consultant he didn't give me> > anything positive to hold on to. He gave me all the downsides of not> > having a tx and all the downsides of having one, which really left me> > thinking 'what's the bloody point?'.> >> > I also think it was a kick back from the stress of moving. You know,> > you hold things together while you have to, but once a bit of stress> is> > released you unravel like a tightly coiled spring. Interestingly my> > chest physician wasn't surprised that I'd unravelled, but was> surprised> > that I hadn't unravelled sooner! Evidently she knows me better than I> > do []> >> > I realise I am very lucky with my chest physician, and I'm so grateful> > that she is my doc. I'm still quite fragile emotionally, but at least> I> > can go for days without having an episode now, rather than hours! I> > have some coping strategies and am able to see an episode coming and> can> > usually get myself out of the situation before it becomes a trauma.> >> > It was partly this fragile emotional state that's kept me away. Just> > not able to deal with things and sticking that big ostrich like head> of> > mine firmly in the sand.> >> > I'm booked to go in for my tx evaluation on 20th April. I was supposed> > to have gone the other week, but that got cancelled due to an> emergency> > on the ward and I was left without a bed. Rob and I had already left> > and got the call to say it wasn't happening at the worst possible> point> > on the journey, stuck in a huge traffic jam and unable to turn round> for> > about 3 miles!> >> > Other than that, my pft's are stablish, I did have a nasty chest> > infection at the beginning of the year which has caused a bit more> > damage, which is annoying, and I had to raise the pred up again and go> > on some heavy duty anti-bi's to clear it, but am off them again now,> > and, touch wood, haven't had a major infection since then. Not bad> > since it's hayfever season and that usually ends up getting on my> chest!> >> > Hope you are all well> >> > Love Ze xx> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 16, 2009 Report Share Posted April 16, 2009 denise, that's exactly what i do and how the ocean makes me fell! i live up the coast in lompoc just 7 miles from the ocean. enjoy ken o. To: Breathe-Support Sent: Wednesday, April 15, 2009 11:56:34 AMSubject: Re: Re: Hello again! , Water is my calming agent too. When I am feeling overwhelmed I go out to my ocean and imagine myself walking far out into the waves, letting the water swirl over my head and breathing in the salt water. I can almost feel the salty broth healing my lungs. It instantly calms me and I feel refreshed and rejuvinated to get through the next days. When I am too busy for my ocean walks I can definately feel the stress rising. R. (53) Sarcoid/PF 3/2006 Carlsbad, California From: <gina.francis@ bigpond.com>Subject: Re: Hello again!To: Breathe-Support@ yahoogroups. comDate: Sunday, April 12, 2009, 5:29 PM Ze that was a FANTASTIC outletting of what you've been experiencing. .. I too am seeing a Counsellor at the moment & the main topic is my life long habit of pouring 'concrete over my emotions'... she asked me to describe what I 'saw' in my lungs & I said CONCRETE...then she asked what would dissolve the concrete.. I said WATER.... & then I realised how MAJOR both those elements were in my life. As a child I was surrounded by tense angry people (parents & siblings) & I literally used to run away & hide & read Enid Blyton... emotions were definitely something to be really scared of....still are for me! Laughter is by far my favourite 'coping' mechanism! Water has always calmed me & made me feel safe (in spite of very nearly drowing in a flood as 3 year old!) I remember that sensation of drowning as if it was yesterday.. it wasn't scary at all as it was happening... what was fully terrifying was the aftermath.. with my mother screaming, being pumelled to breathe & tipped upside down & wacked on my back to drain the water out. They say small chikldren drown really easily because they 'accept' water ....something to do with womb experience is the theory.. well I believe that to be true! Now I don't know if I'll ever dissolve my concreted emotions, I don't even know that I want to... but it was great to at least see the pattern....now I'd better go & choose some old crockery... that could be a great start! "Not Drowning -Waving.".. that's the name of a Rock Band in Oz... that could be my Motto! lots of love n' Hugs to you Warrior Princess, > > >> > >> > > Hi all,> > >> > > Sorry I haven't been around, I had a problem with my lap-top, ended> up> > > calling it HAL out of 2001 a space odessy (I don't think you want to> > do> > > that Dave) I ended up karate chopping it and killing it outright> [[-(]> > >> > > I've also been battling depression. Never had to do that before,> it's> > > funny how it gets you isn't it. Tick along dealing with the big> > > things, you think you're doing ok. Burn the onions and it's the end> of> > > the world. I realised I needed help when I couldn't deal with the> > > washing up water being too hot! I didn't have the facility to think> > 'oh> > > the waters too hot, add some cold' but ended up in a quivering heap> on> > > the bed instead.. Over here getting a counsellor to talk to is quite> a> > > long winded process and there is a waiting list of several months> > unless> > > you are on the brink of suicide, (which through out all this time I> > have> > > never contemplated) . My chest physician, however, was fantastic, and> > > started to book me in as the last patient of the day, so that I had> > all> > > the time I needed to talk. Part of the problems that I'd been having> > > was that the last time I'd seen my tx consultant he didn't give me> > > anything positive to hold on to. He gave me all the downsides of not> > > having a tx and all the downsides of having one, which really left> me> > > thinking 'what's the bloody point?'.> > >> > > I also think it was a kick back from the stress of moving. You know,> > > you hold things together while you have to, but once a bit of stress> > is> > > released you unravel like a tightly coiled spring. Interestingly my> > > chest physician wasn't surprised that I'd unravelled, but was> > surprised> > > that I hadn't unravelled sooner! Evidently she knows me better than> I> > > do []> > >> > > I realise I am very lucky with my chest physician, and I'm so> grateful> > > that she is my doc. I'm still quite fragile emotionally, but at> least> > I> > > can go for days without having an episode now, rather than hours! I> > > have some coping strategies and am able to see an episode coming and> > can> > > usually get myself out of the situation before it becomes a trauma.> > >> > > It was partly this fragile emotional state that's kept me away. Just> > > not able to deal with things and sticking that big ostrich like head> > of> > > mine firmly in the sand..> > >> > > I'm booked to go in for my tx evaluation on 20th April. I was> supposed> > > to have gone the other week, but that got cancelled due to an> > emergency> > > on the ward and I was left without a bed. Rob and I had already left> > > and got the call to say it wasn't happening at the worst possible> > point> > > on the journey, stuck in a huge traffic jam and unable to turn round> > for> > > about 3 miles!> > >> > > Other than that, my pft's are stablish, I did have a nasty chest> > > infection at the beginning of the year which has caused a bit more> > > damage, which is annoying, and I had to raise the pred up again and> go> > > on some heavy duty anti-bi's to clear it, but am off them again now,> > > and, touch wood, haven't had a major infection since then. Not bad> > > since it's hayfever season and that usually ends up getting on my> > chest!> > >> > > Hope you are all well> > >> > > Love Ze xx> > >> >> Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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