Re: Two career couples and decisions

[Guest guest]

Short answer.gut feeling - pack in the job, be there for the kids,

enjoy walks along the beach and be happy.

I'd type something more but we're currently trying to sort out

cancelling electric, gas, Foxtel, etc as well as wokot ow much of

Steffi's stuff we can get away with throwing out so we can fit our

luggage into our luggage allowance! Our travel agent has ordered us

two cars to get us to the airport - one for us and one for the

luggage.

--

Sue

[Guest guest]

>>I really want DH to have this job - it is a >>>brilliant opportunity for him.

I

>>>just feel so confused.

Debbie, I feel for you - I don't mean it badly - but it's " nice " in a way to

hear that someone else is struggling with options too.

It must be weird leaving one life pattern behind to do something different, and

then suddenly realising that you are back to the same sort of pattern with a DH

being away a lot.

But I don't think you are back where you started - every place has it's own

challenges - and I've always thought that you gather more experiences living in

two different places in two years than you would have done had you spent both

those years in the same place.

(Not expressing this very well, but you get what I mean - to speak for myself I

have my Italy and US and Guernsey and Norway experiences and they are all

valuable to me - so mildly panicking now after having spent 5 years in one

place!).

I think you should give up work if you can afford it - it sounds as if that's

what you really feel like doing. I fully understand that " guilt " feeling, but as

DH always says to me - if the situation was reversed and they had to make you

redundant your boss would probably feel guilty too - but it wouldn't stop him

from doing it!

It is a business relationship after all.

I have the same issue as you if I give up work, as I am in a foreign city and do

not really have any " home " or " neighbourhood " or " NCT " network (other than you

lot!). But I guess it's just a matter of starting somewhere - it's improved even

in the 4-5 months I have been working part time - and without work, more time to

spend focusing on building a life outside.

(It sounds so easy... be interesting to see if I can persuade myself too!)

Karina

Mum to Emilia (Oct 98) and Sebastian (Aug 00)

[Guest guest]

> My DH has gone and got himself a new job - more money, a lot more

> challenging, and just what he wants.

>

> This is making me feel so guilty - I don't feel like I can give up

work now

> (although I really do want to - as I want to be around for the kids

if Dad is

> going to be away a lot).

>

> Aaargh - what do I do?

>

Debbie, if its a job you don't particularly enjoy then don't let

anyone guilt trip you into staying. No-one is indispensible (?sp).

As for the support networks I think you find those once you are " out

there " as you tend to meet people once you are doing the

school/nursery bit and tap into the mummy mafia. In the end it's

what you want for you and your kids which counts and if it doesn't

work out there are other jobs, nothing is for ever.

Hope you work something out that you feel good about.

Lesley

[Guest guest]

Oh Debbie, what a dilemma for you.

But I agree with Sue, you only get one life, so I'd give up the job

(it's their problem not yours that you colleague wasn't up to scratch)

and do what YOU want. But that's easy for me to say, because I'm not

in the middle of it.

Hope it all works out for the best

Todman

Treasurer, Stansted Branch (R5)

Mum to , 3½

> Aaargh - what do I do?

>

> Now the lifestyle here is very lovely - I love the outside

lifestyle, the

> beach, and all that. But part of me thinks that I'm back where I

was when we

> left the UK (if not worse - as I'm in a job I don't like, but feel

guilty

> about packing in, and I've not had the chance to develop that

support network

> that we all needed).

>