Guest guest Posted September 26, 2005 Report Share Posted September 26, 2005 Deb, I can fully understand what Joe is saying. Yes, The cancer steals your dreams. I feel that way too. I try not to make plans about the future. When I think of long term I just feel that it may not happen for me. I wonder if I will see my son's children. He is thirteen. Will I live long enough to see them?? I know, I know, but it cannot be helped. Cancer makes you realize that you will not live forever. No one will. But the cancer makes your really, really realize it. Before you do not think you will die for a long time so you do not plan on it. But now, you know you will die sometime. That you will not live forever. Yes, this cancer changes your views on life. It is normal and cannot be helped. I try to get my projects done in a timely manner because I am not sure how long I have. I right now as far as we know do not have cancer. But it can come back at any time. So you think a lot differently then you did before. Cannot be helped. Ingrid > Well today Joe was suppose to go to neurosurgeon and cancelled dang man. > > We were talking last night serious heart to heart , and he says even with him doing so well , the cancer still took away his dreams, > How does one dream when they are not sure they will be hear next year? > He is working double time to try to get bills paid off , just in case . > Joe has been done with chemo since June and still feels this way , does it ever get better? > The feeling of 'what if " ??? > > > Deb > > > 33yrold husband Joe, was diagnosed with CC in Sept, > resection on Sept 27th 2004 > found mets to the abdominal wall lining 3 lymph nodes involved > open wound from infection until Jan 2005 > Ileostomy reversal Dec 7th 2004 > Chemo regiment begun Jan 2005 > 5fu/levorican/Oxaplatin/ Avastin added Feb 14 2005 (Happy Valentines > Calcium Magnesium added for the Tingles Feb 28 2005 > Ct Scan done March 23rd 2005 , 16 millimeter cyst like object on liver found > April 1 2005 PET scan done awaiting results > April 11 PET SCAN SHOWS NED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! > May 9 Plateletts are low 75,000 > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 26, 2005 Report Share Posted September 26, 2005 Deb I had dreams until I got my colon cancer 8 years ago. After the surgery and chemo they said I was fine. I tried very hard to find a way to justify all the torture I had gone through, some way to make it worth while. I never did. Now it's back. Interesting! Good luck. Len --- deb vamdembos debbied31@...> wrote: --------------------------------- Well today Joe was suppose to go to neurosurgeon and cancelled dang man. We were talking last night serious heart to heart , and he says even with him doing so well , the cancer still took away his dreams, How does one dream when they are not sure they will be hear next year? He is working double time to try to get bills paid off , just in case . Joe has been done with chemo since June and still feels this way , does it ever get better? The feeling of 'what if " ??? Deb 33yrold husband Joe, was diagnosed with CC in Sept, resection on Sept 27th 2004 found mets to the abdominal wall lining 3 lymph nodes involved open wound from infection until Jan 2005 Ileostomy reversal Dec 7th 2004 Chemo regiment begun Jan 2005 5fu/levorican/Oxaplatin/ Avastin added Feb 14 2005 (Happy Valentines Calcium Magnesium added for the Tingles Feb 28 2005 Ct Scan done March 23rd 2005 , 16 millimeter cyst like object on liver found April 1 2005 PET scan done awaiting results April 11 PET SCAN SHOWS NED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! May 9 Plateletts are low 75,000 __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 26, 2005 Report Share Posted September 26, 2005 Deb I had dreams until I got my colon cancer 8 years ago. After the surgery and chemo they said I was fine. I tried very hard to find a way to justify all the torture I had gone through, some way to make it worth while. I never did. Now it's back. Interesting! Good luck. Len --- deb vamdembos debbied31@...> wrote: --------------------------------- Well today Joe was suppose to go to neurosurgeon and cancelled dang man. We were talking last night serious heart to heart , and he says even with him doing so well , the cancer still took away his dreams, How does one dream when they are not sure they will be hear next year? He is working double time to try to get bills paid off , just in case . Joe has been done with chemo since June and still feels this way , does it ever get better? The feeling of 'what if " ??? Deb 33yrold husband Joe, was diagnosed with CC in Sept, resection on Sept 27th 2004 found mets to the abdominal wall lining 3 lymph nodes involved open wound from infection until Jan 2005 Ileostomy reversal Dec 7th 2004 Chemo regiment begun Jan 2005 5fu/levorican/Oxaplatin/ Avastin added Feb 14 2005 (Happy Valentines Calcium Magnesium added for the Tingles Feb 28 2005 Ct Scan done March 23rd 2005 , 16 millimeter cyst like object on liver found April 1 2005 PET scan done awaiting results April 11 PET SCAN SHOWS NED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! May 9 Plateletts are low 75,000 __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 27, 2005 Report Share Posted September 27, 2005 Deb, I push the what ifs away feeling like living in what ifs is living in tomorrow and then I lose today. Len, in those eight years, did you not have any good years???? Karima Re: more on Joe Deb I had dreams until I got my colon cancer 8 years ago. After the surgery and chemo they said I was fine. I tried very hard to find a way to justify all the torture I had gone through, some way to make it worth while. I never did. Now it's back. Interesting! Good luck. Len --- deb vamdembos debbied31@...> wrote: --------------------------------- Well today Joe was suppose to go to neurosurgeon and cancelled dang man. We were talking last night serious heart to heart , and he says even with him doing so well , the cancer still took away his dreams, How does one dream when they are not sure they will be hear next year? He is working double time to try to get bills paid off , just in case . Joe has been done with chemo since June and still feels this way , does it ever get better? The feeling of 'what if " ??? Deb 33yrold husband Joe, was diagnosed with CC in Sept, resection on Sept 27th 2004 found mets to the abdominal wall lining 3 lymph nodes involved open wound from infection until Jan 2005 Ileostomy reversal Dec 7th 2004 Chemo regiment begun Jan 2005 5fu/levorican/Oxaplatin/ Avastin added Feb 14 2005 (Happy Valentines Calcium Magnesium added for the Tingles Feb 28 2005 Ct Scan done March 23rd 2005 , 16 millimeter cyst like object on liver found April 1 2005 PET scan done awaiting results April 11 PET SCAN SHOWS NED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! May 9 Plateletts are low 75,000 __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 28, 2005 Report Share Posted September 28, 2005 Barbara, Most of the time I didn't have any symptoms of the cancer but I have IBS (irritable bowl syndrome) which may or may not have been exaserbated by the cancer. I worked full time and was able to do a very good job most of the time. Sometimes the job was made difficult by the IBS and I wondered how much longer I was going to be able to keep it up. This recurrance has taken me out of the work force completely. My prognosis is very poor also. I am taking a writing course at night school right now so I can put my thoughts down more accurately. Maybe then I can tell my story better. Len --- Barbara Gari karima1@...> wrote: --------------------------------- Deb, I push the what ifs away feeling like living in what ifs is living in tomorrow and then I lose today. Len, in those eight years, did you not have any good years???? Karima Re: more on Joe Deb I had dreams until I got my colon cancer 8 years ago. After the surgery and chemo they said I was fine. I tried very hard to find a way to justify all the torture I had gone through, some way to make it worth while. I never did. Now it's back. Interesting! Good luck. Len --- deb vamdembos debbied31@...> wrote: --------------------------------- Well today Joe was suppose to go to neurosurgeon and cancelled dang man. We were talking last night serious heart to heart , and he says even with him doing so well , the cancer still took away his dreams, How does one dream when they are not sure they will be hear next year? He is working double time to try to get bills paid off , just in case . Joe has been done with chemo since June and still feels this way , does it ever get better? The feeling of 'what if " ??? Deb 33yrold husband Joe, was diagnosed with CC in Sept, resection on Sept 27th 2004 found mets to the abdominal wall lining 3 lymph nodes involved open wound from infection until Jan 2005 Ileostomy reversal Dec 7th 2004 Chemo regiment begun Jan 2005 5fu/levorican/Oxaplatin/ Avastin added Feb 14 2005 (Happy Valentines Calcium Magnesium added for the Tingles Feb 28 2005 Ct Scan done March 23rd 2005 , 16 millimeter cyst like object on liver found April 1 2005 PET scan done awaiting results April 11 PET SCAN SHOWS NED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! May 9 Plateletts are low 75,000 __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted September 29, 2005 Report Share Posted September 29, 2005 Good luck on your writing course, Len. ~Deb in Kansas Len Henell hlen@...> wrote: Barbara, Most of the time I didn't have any symptoms of the cancer but I have IBS (irritable bowl syndrome) which may or may not have been exaserbated by the cancer. I worked full time and was able to do a very good job most of the time. Sometimes the job was made difficult by the IBS and I wondered how much longer I was going to be able to keep it up. This recurrance has taken me out of the work force completely. My prognosis is very poor also. I am taking a writing course at night school right now so I can put my thoughts down more accurately. Maybe then I can tell my story better. Len --- Barbara Gari karima1@...> wrote: --------------------------------- Deb, I push the what ifs away feeling like living in what ifs is living in tomorrow and then I lose today. Len, in those eight years, did you not have any good years???? Karima Re: more on Joe Deb I had dreams until I got my colon cancer 8 years ago. After the surgery and chemo they said I was fine. I tried very hard to find a way to justify all the torture I had gone through, some way to make it worth while. I never did. Now it's back. Interesting! Good luck. Len --- deb vamdembos debbied31@...> wrote: --------------------------------- Well today Joe was suppose to go to neurosurgeon and cancelled dang man. We were talking last night serious heart to heart , and he says even with him doing so well , the cancer still took away his dreams, How does one dream when they are not sure they will be hear next year? He is working double time to try to get bills paid off , just in case . Joe has been done with chemo since June and still feels this way , does it ever get better? The feeling of 'what if " ??? Deb 33yrold husband Joe, was diagnosed with CC in Sept, resection on Sept 27th 2004 found mets to the abdominal wall lining 3 lymph nodes involved open wound from infection until Jan 2005 Ileostomy reversal Dec 7th 2004 Chemo regiment begun Jan 2005 5fu/levorican/Oxaplatin/ Avastin added Feb 14 2005 (Happy Valentines Calcium Magnesium added for the Tingles Feb 28 2005 Ct Scan done March 23rd 2005 , 16 millimeter cyst like object on liver found April 1 2005 PET scan done awaiting results April 11 PET SCAN SHOWS NED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! May 9 Plateletts are low 75,000 __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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