Re: biting & Entertaining herself

June 21, 2001

Lonnie can't help much with the entertaining herself (opps nearly type playing

with herself!!!) - but as to the biting a while ago on TV there was an excellent

programme called something like living by the book which featured

Green (I think that was his name) and his book toddler taming.

His advice as far as I can remember was that it's an attention seeking thing and

that when a bite looked imminent to divert the toddlers attention towards

something else - but if a bite did occur, completely ignore the biter and divert

all comfort and attention to the bitie.

On the programme it didn't really work that well, but I do think the women

wasn't really giving it all she had - but then saying that she did have the

biting toddler and six month old twins!

So perhaps a swift purchase of Toddler Taming might be in order?!?

Joanne King

SAHM to Ethan - HB 29.06.00

Minute Secretary Colchester & District

June 21, 2001

Lonnie,

It must be the age, well anyway a friend at toddler's has a girl of 17m

who has just started the same. She is the only child and the biting is

ALWAYS directed towards babies. Her mum has read the book mentioned by

Joanne and tried all ways but said child still does it. She goes to hug the

baby and kiss it and if you are not there to retrieve her she follows it

with a bite.

It must be really awful for you. Shame in a way it wasn't my DS she bit

as he would have clonked her one which would have really shocked her. I

assume Phoebe didn't react physically towards her sister as this may have

made Eloisa realise what she was doing.

I'm sorry I am not much help. Josh has bitten me a couple of times, but

I go balistic, and make sure he knows what has happened, especially when a

bruise comes up and lasts for days he can see you can't just " kiss it

better " . However Josh is a year older and his awareness is that more

developed as a result.

Sorry again for not helping, but remember you are not the only one,

despite how mortifying you may feel about it.

June 21, 2001

Lonnie,

It must be the age, well anyway a friend at toddler's has a girl of 17m

who has just started the same. She is the only child and the biting is

ALWAYS directed towards babies. Her mum has read the book mentioned by

Joanne and tried all ways but said child still does it. She goes to hug the

baby and kiss it and if you are not there to retrieve her she follows it

with a bite.

It must be really awful for you. Shame in a way it wasn't my DS she bit

as he would have clonked her one which would have really shocked her. I

assume Phoebe didn't react physically towards her sister as this may have

made Eloisa realise what she was doing.

I'm sorry I am not much help. Josh has bitten me a couple of times, but

I go balistic, and make sure he knows what has happened, especially when a

bruise comes up and lasts for days he can see you can't just " kiss it

better " . However Josh is a year older and his awareness is that more

developed as a result.

Sorry again for not helping, but remember you are not the only one,

despite how mortifying you may feel about it.

June 21, 2001

Tnx Joanne and .

I actually have a copy of toddler taming (not actually read all of it though

LOL) and I did see the mentioned programme.. I kind of feel like what I am doing

in saying NO and ignoring her is pretty much what they suggested back then..

(but perhaps I should read all of the book to check that I actually am doing

what they suggests) I can't put her into her cot as she is in a toddler bed ;o)

(And can get in and out of it).. A friend suggested getting a play date with

another child who is a known biter and then see what happens.. As it is I have

got a friend who has a child that does bite and he is the same age as Eloisa

so perhaps that is worth a try LOL

I remember whilst watching the programme getting very frustrated with the mother

of the child as she was saying I am doing what they say, but what she actually

was doing was shouting no from a distance and then leaving it there.. I didn't

feel this was what was meant by ignoring and excluding the child..

I have a childcare book that suggests putting them into a highchair for time

out(can't do that as chair is on loan but I do have a playpen) so I am

considering trying that..

Lonnie Phoebe & Eloisa's mama

& expecting a Christmas delivery...

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you

start.

So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a Chocolate cake.

I feel better already.

Re: biting & Entertaining herself

Lonnie can't help much with the entertaining herself (opps nearly type playing

with herself!!!) - but as to the biting a while ago on TV there was an excellent

programme called something like living by the book which featured

Green (I think that was his name) and his book toddler taming.

His advice as far as I can remember was that it's an attention seeking thing

and that when a bite looked imminent to divert the toddlers attention towards

something else - but if a bite did occur, completely ignore the biter and divert

all comfort and attention to the bitie.

On the programme it didn't really work that well, but I do think the women

wasn't really giving it all she had - but then saying that she did have the

biting toddler and six month old twins!

So perhaps a swift purchase of Toddler Taming might be in order?!?

Joanne King

SAHM to Ethan - HB 29.06.00

Minute Secretary Colchester & District

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June 21, 2001

> Eloisa has taken to biting.

Hi Lonnie

I can't help much as the only time my DS bit me was at 8 months when

he decided he wanted to be weaned - ouch!! I did read after that,

that the reaction required is not to react at all(!!). Not easy is

it. All advice seems to point towards ignoring biters, but your DD2

seems to be the exception that proves the rule.. Your DD1 can play

happily alone but not DD2 so perhaps you need to devote more

attention to DD2 so that you can praise her when she *hasn't* bitten

anyone - try a small treat for very good behaviour, over a short

period at first, then a better treat for longer periods. Treats and

praise work far better for my own DS than smacks or ignoring ever did.

HTH

Ruth

PS Don't worry too much - we've all been in situations like this, it

does get better, honest!

June 21, 2001