Beverley's cry from the heart

[Guest guest]

> Hugs, hugs, hugs, and I'll tell you all about my trip to the ballet later

in

> the week!

> Gosh, you have been through it. But good for Grace, that IS good news.

> (but I know just why you cried).

> Thinking of you,

>

> Anneliese

>

> Bad week, even worse weekend - long moan - sorry!

> >

> > I have been quiet on here ever since I have got back from holidays as

> > I seem unable to keep up with sheer volume of post and by the time I

> > get around to replying we are off on another tack!

> > This week we had a committee meeting (for my sins I am Chair of our

> > local NCT brabch) and I just felt that it was awful - everything I

> > said or did seemed wrong. All in all it generally really p****d me

> > of over the whole thing. I could have easily just got up and walked

> > out but sheer b****y mindedness over all my previous hard work

> > stopped me - I think I was being over sensitive on some matters but

> > just the same....

> > Then - I have started my implant treatment (remember? - to enforce

> > the menopause and help stop me bleeding for 6 months). I thought

> > that I was coping with it quite well, the hot flushes are a pain but

> > nothing I couldn't handle. Anyway I have gained 12lb in weight in 2

> > weeks. It is just awful, none of my clothes fit me (and I mean none)

> > and I feel fat, ugly and a slob. From an emotional point this has

> > just made me crumble, it seems to have been the straw that broke the

> > camels back. 2 people even asked me this week if I was pregnant

> > which was very hurtful under the circumstances but they were not to

> > know. In fact I feel pregnant - swollen, tender boobs, swollen

> > stomach, constant nausea. If I was, at least I would have something

> > to look forward to. I am just feeling so very very low. DH, bless

> > him, is trying to be kind but I think that he just really does not

> > even begin to understand (at the moment he is playing with DD's in

> > the garden to give me 10 mins peace)

> > I have been on high dosage progesterone (?sp)for 3 months (which

> > seemed to have stopped me bleeding) but last night began to bleed

> > again? why? (sorry I realise none of you can answer that - more just

> > a cry from me)

> > The only hilight of this horrible has been our trip to GOSH with

> > Grace (DD1) - she was diagnoiosed with several holes in her heart at

> > 10 weeks - on Friday the cardiologist said that she now only has one,

> > 4mm, very insignificant and nothing to worry about - it will probably

> > close itself as have the others. I was overjoyed (and proceeded to

> > cry! - damm hormones)

> > Anyway, sorry to have rambled on but thank you for giving me an

> > environment where I know that I can off-load my feelings and moans

> >

> > Beverly

> > Fat and Fed Up in Herts

> >

>