Re: moving on after chemo/

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/11/2005 11:02:17 AM Eastern Standard Time,

leslie_blanton@... writes:

My husband was diagnosed last october with stage III colon cancer. He

had surgery and completed 12 rounds of chemo in June. We were in shock

at first (we had just adopted a little girl from China six months prior

to the diagnosis) and then during chemo, I guess we moved " through

it " ...helping him survive all of the side effects. Now, we both seem

to be struggling with the " after effects " of cancer. We are both kindof

shocked at this-we thought the transition would be easier. It seems

like the " what if " or " what could be " are the most overwhelming

emotions for us. We can say all of the right things..... " live for

today, believe in hope, etc., etc., etc., " but sometimes the fear can

be so consuming.Every time I turn around, it seems like someone else

has had a reoccurance and these visits to the oncologist every two

months are brutal. I keep saying that we need to cherish every single

moment of our time with our precious little girl, but at the same time,

I feel as if we are surrounded by this big dark cloud. I wake up in

the middle of the night thinking that I could be a single parent at 38

years old. Somehow.... we need to pass through this fear... we are

just not sure how.

Any wise suggestions?

Hi ...I know people balk at this, but you may very well need some

intervening here with a psychologist...NOT a psychiatrist!!! Psychologists

deal

with emotions!! And if your brain is a little out of whack (saying this with

love!!) and chemicals are imbalanced, you may need an anti-depressant to

help you move on. Don't be embarrassed by this suggestion...or the fact that

maybe your chemicals are out of balance. It happens to ALL of us at some

time(s) in our lives. A chemical imbalance does NOT mean you are crazy or

headed

for the looney bin. It simply means you need help re-balancing. If you had

diabetes, wouldn't you get meds and help?? If you had cancer, wouldn't you

get meds and help?? If you had

high blood pressure, wouldn't you get meds and help?? You get the idea!!

If hubby, b/c I know some men are really, really difficult to get to a dr.,

won't go, you could go and when you are on meds and feeling better and able

to cope with the day to day a lot better and not having feelings and fears of

" what ifs " constantly, then maybe hubby will go too... hoping these fears

calm down for you, so you can enjoy each day and not be so fearful!!!

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/11/2005 11:02:17 AM Eastern Standard Time,

leslie_blanton@... writes:

My husband was diagnosed last october with stage III colon cancer. He

had surgery and completed 12 rounds of chemo in June. We were in shock

at first (we had just adopted a little girl from China six months prior

to the diagnosis) and then during chemo, I guess we moved " through

it " ...helping him survive all of the side effects. Now, we both seem

to be struggling with the " after effects " of cancer. We are both kindof

shocked at this-we thought the transition would be easier. It seems

like the " what if " or " what could be " are the most overwhelming

emotions for us. We can say all of the right things..... " live for

today, believe in hope, etc., etc., etc., " but sometimes the fear can

be so consuming.Every time I turn around, it seems like someone else

has had a reoccurance and these visits to the oncologist every two

months are brutal. I keep saying that we need to cherish every single

moment of our time with our precious little girl, but at the same time,

I feel as if we are surrounded by this big dark cloud. I wake up in

the middle of the night thinking that I could be a single parent at 38

years old. Somehow.... we need to pass through this fear... we are

just not sure how.

Any wise suggestions?

Hi ...I know people balk at this, but you may very well need some

intervening here with a psychologist...NOT a psychiatrist!!! Psychologists

deal

with emotions!! And if your brain is a little out of whack (saying this with

love!!) and chemicals are imbalanced, you may need an anti-depressant to

help you move on. Don't be embarrassed by this suggestion...or the fact that

maybe your chemicals are out of balance. It happens to ALL of us at some

time(s) in our lives. A chemical imbalance does NOT mean you are crazy or

headed

for the looney bin. It simply means you need help re-balancing. If you had

diabetes, wouldn't you get meds and help?? If you had cancer, wouldn't you

get meds and help?? If you had

high blood pressure, wouldn't you get meds and help?? You get the idea!!

If hubby, b/c I know some men are really, really difficult to get to a dr.,

won't go, you could go and when you are on meds and feeling better and able

to cope with the day to day a lot better and not having feelings and fears of

" what ifs " constantly, then maybe hubby will go too... hoping these fears

calm down for you, so you can enjoy each day and not be so fearful!!!

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn

[Guest guest]

The wisest I can give you...is to pray. No matter what your religious belief,

believe in your Higher Power.

I can't even talk about the " bad stuff " . Am I living in denial? I don't think

so. I think I am living in the present and looking forward to the future. Can

you do just that?

I guess it is because my biggest heartbreak is my two daughters' lacking the

maturity, even though they are 30 and 35 to deal with this illness. My doctor

says it will take a good two years for this takedown to function the way the

rectum normally would. That is what I deal with now. I live in fear of an

" accident " when I am not at home and I am a performer. Yesterday we opened our

local County Fair at 9:00 AM. I was there at 7:30 scoping out where the potties

were. I guess dealing with " my now " is enough.

Don't know if this helped or not.

Karima

Re: moving on after chemo/

In a message dated 8/11/2005 11:02:17 AM Eastern Standard Time,

leslie_blanton@... writes:

My husband was diagnosed last october with stage III colon cancer. He

had surgery and completed 12 rounds of chemo in June. We were in shock

at first (we had just adopted a little girl from China six months prior

to the diagnosis) and then during chemo, I guess we moved " through

it " ...helping him survive all of the side effects. Now, we both seem

to be struggling with the " after effects " of cancer. We are both kindof

shocked at this-we thought the transition would be easier. It seems

like the " what if " or " what could be " are the most overwhelming

emotions for us. We can say all of the right things..... " live for

today, believe in hope, etc., etc., etc., " but sometimes the fear can

be so consuming.Every time I turn around, it seems like someone else

has had a reoccurance and these visits to the oncologist every two

months are brutal. I keep saying that we need to cherish every single

moment of our time with our precious little girl, but at the same time,

I feel as if we are surrounded by this big dark cloud. I wake up in

the middle of the night thinking that I could be a single parent at 38

years old. Somehow.... we need to pass through this fear... we are

just not sure how.

Any wise suggestions?

Hi ...I know people balk at this, but you may very well need some

intervening here with a psychologist...NOT a psychiatrist!!! Psychologists

deal

with emotions!! And if your brain is a little out of whack (saying this with

love!!) and chemicals are imbalanced, you may need an anti-depressant to

help you move on. Don't be embarrassed by this suggestion...or the fact that

maybe your chemicals are out of balance. It happens to ALL of us at some

time(s) in our lives. A chemical imbalance does NOT mean you are crazy or

headed

for the looney bin. It simply means you need help re-balancing. If you had

diabetes, wouldn't you get meds and help?? If you had cancer, wouldn't you

get meds and help?? If you had

high blood pressure, wouldn't you get meds and help?? You get the idea!!

If hubby, b/c I know some men are really, really difficult to get to a dr.,

won't go, you could go and when you are on meds and feeling better and able

to cope with the day to day a lot better and not having feelings and fears of

" what ifs " constantly, then maybe hubby will go too... hoping these fears

calm down for you, so you can enjoy each day and not be so fearful!!!

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn