Re: Star chart

August 24, 2001

> You may remember I was despairing a week or so back with the potty

> training business.

>

> Well thanks to tips on here we started a star chart last week. DS

had

> to go a whole week dry then he would get a police car he has seen in

> Tesco for his brio. First 3 days were fine (amazing as it was the

> weekend which have been notoriously bad). Then a damp patch which

we

> let go, but yesterday he was quite wet, so after the tears (no

> chocolate and no sticker for the chart) we did another chart to

start

> all over again. Lo and behold, he was wet again tonight.

>

> Thankfully he still seems motivated by it (he loves getting the

> stickers) so we'll try again this week.

>

> Todman

> Treasurer, Stansted Branch (R5)

Oh, how disappointing for him - I think you should start off with

really short goals - 2 or 3 days would appear to be his limit at the

moment. You can increase the goals slowly, and have another star

chart where he gets a sticker for each short goal completed - that

way you don't have to " start all over again " as he'll still be

building on his successes. Success is the keyword with toilet

training I found!

HTH

Ruth

> Mum to , 3½

August 24, 2001

In article 9m57pg+8431 (AT) eGroups (DOT) com>, ruthselby2002@... writes

>Oh, how disappointing for him - I think you should start off with

>really short goals - 2 or 3 days would appear to be his limit at the

>moment. You can increase the goals slowly, and have another star

>chart where he gets a sticker for each short goal completed - that

>way you don't have to " start all over again " as he'll still be

>building on his successes. Success is the keyword with toilet

>training I found!

I'd agree with this - having had a particularly bad run of pooey

knickers, we've actually gone back to a prize every time the poo comes

in the potty, not in her knickers - managed to find a collection of

Barbie outfits for 99p each, so we are slowly working through those. I

do think they get disheartened and lose interest if you make the length

of time they have to wait for a prize too long.

Cath

August 24, 2001

<<<. Success is the keyword with toilet training I found! >>

Someone please tell this to Phoebe for her it seems to be lets not have any

success's what so ever unless daddy happens to catch us mid pee on the slide..

(sorry still getting over having to scoop up pooh from the lawn - and can't

believe we now are on day 11 and she is not even close.....)

Lonnie Phoebe & Eloisa's mama

& expecting a Christmas delivery...

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you

start.

So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a Chocolate cake.

I feel better already.

August 24, 2001

> <<<. Success is the keyword with toilet training I found! >>

>

> Someone please tell this to Phoebe for her it seems to be lets not

have any success's what so ever unless daddy happens to catch us mid

pee on the slide..

>

> (sorry still getting over having to scoop up pooh from the lawn -

and can't believe we now are on day 11 and she is not even close.....)

>

She can't be ready yet - do you have a deadline or could you shelve

it for a while? She will let you know when she wants to start all

this, I don't think anyone has started school in nappies

yet!..Although my DS almost started Nursery in PJs as he wouldn't get

dressed..(my HV advised me to call his bluff - it worked!) Sorry,

not trying to undermine how hard it all is but it really is easier

when they are ready instead of when we want it all done by. HTH

Ruth

August 24, 2001

> <<<. Success is the keyword with toilet training I found! >>

>

> Someone please tell this to Phoebe for her it seems to be lets not

have any success's what so ever unless daddy happens to catch us mid

pee on the slide..

>

> (sorry still getting over having to scoop up pooh from the lawn -

and can't believe we now are on day 11 and she is not even close.....)

>

She can't be ready yet - do you have a deadline or could you shelve

it for a while? She will let you know when she wants to start all

this, I don't think anyone has started school in nappies

yet!..Although my DS almost started Nursery in PJs as he wouldn't get

dressed..(my HV advised me to call his bluff - it worked!) Sorry,

not trying to undermine how hard it all is but it really is easier

when they are ready instead of when we want it all done by. HTH

Ruth

August 24, 2001

In a message dated 25/08/01 09:24:35 GMT Daylight Time,

lonniefletcher@... writes:

> Ruthie she is 3.5 and it is not that she is not ready to do it is because

> she doesn't WANT to do it.. she is well capable of doing it (we have had 2

> completely dry day's where she used potty at own accord whenever she needed

> it) but as soon as things are not going just like she want it to she stops

> using the potty..

I agree with you Lonnie that there are sometimes when the " wait until the

child wants to do it " strategy doesn't work. never *wanted* to

go for it either, so in the end I had to force the issue. He was just over

3. I actually found that people telling me to leave it for a while and wait

until he was ready was not in the least helpful, because *I* wanted him out

of nappies and I wanted it NOW, not 6, 8, 10 months down the line when *he*

chose to do it.

The " wait until the child's ready " strategy doesn't take into account that

some toddlers couldn't care less about what they're wearing on their bottoms,

or that some (not all) mothers are getting more and more depressed every day

about the fact that theirs is the only child still in nappies.

It took several months to train him, was utter hell, but looking back, I

think being tough on him was the only way it would have worked for us.

August 24, 2001

In a message dated 25/08/01 09:24:35 GMT Daylight Time,

lonniefletcher@... writes:

> Ruthie she is 3.5 and it is not that she is not ready to do it is because

> she doesn't WANT to do it.. she is well capable of doing it (we have had 2

> completely dry day's where she used potty at own accord whenever she needed

> it) but as soon as things are not going just like she want it to she stops

> using the potty..

I agree with you Lonnie that there are sometimes when the " wait until the

child wants to do it " strategy doesn't work. never *wanted* to

go for it either, so in the end I had to force the issue. He was just over

3. I actually found that people telling me to leave it for a while and wait

until he was ready was not in the least helpful, because *I* wanted him out

of nappies and I wanted it NOW, not 6, 8, 10 months down the line when *he*

chose to do it.

The " wait until the child's ready " strategy doesn't take into account that

some toddlers couldn't care less about what they're wearing on their bottoms,

or that some (not all) mothers are getting more and more depressed every day

about the fact that theirs is the only child still in nappies.

It took several months to train him, was utter hell, but looking back, I

think being tough on him was the only way it would have worked for us.

August 24, 2001

In a message dated 25/08/01 09:24:35 GMT Daylight Time,

lonniefletcher@... writes:

> Ruthie she is 3.5 and it is not that she is not ready to do it is because

> she doesn't WANT to do it.. she is well capable of doing it (we have had 2

> completely dry day's where she used potty at own accord whenever she needed

> it) but as soon as things are not going just like she want it to she stops

> using the potty..

I agree with you Lonnie that there are sometimes when the " wait until the

child wants to do it " strategy doesn't work. never *wanted* to

go for it either, so in the end I had to force the issue. He was just over

3. I actually found that people telling me to leave it for a while and wait

until he was ready was not in the least helpful, because *I* wanted him out

of nappies and I wanted it NOW, not 6, 8, 10 months down the line when *he*

chose to do it.

The " wait until the child's ready " strategy doesn't take into account that

some toddlers couldn't care less about what they're wearing on their bottoms,

or that some (not all) mothers are getting more and more depressed every day

about the fact that theirs is the only child still in nappies.

It took several months to train him, was utter hell, but looking back, I

think being tough on him was the only way it would have worked for us.

August 25, 2001

Ruthie she is 3.5 and it is not that she is not ready to do it is because she

doesn't WANT to do it.. she is well capable of doing it (we have had 2

completely dry day's where she used potty at own accord whenever she needed it)

but as soon as things are not going just like she want it to she stops using the

potty.. Basically what I am doing at the moment is trying to call her bluff..

(cloth fans look away the following may horrify you ) I changed over to

cloth at night a while back and Phoebe absolutely HATES them so what I have done

is I have said to her that when she uses the potty or toilet in the day time she

can have her pull ups on at night instead of the baby nappy (what she calls the

cloth one) she seems to be getting this and yesterday when she did manage the

potty said not baby nappy soon phoebe do wee wee's in the potty all day..

She has a star (sticky) chart but she is really not interested in it and I have

tried saying go one day using the potty and you will get a present (to that she

replies NO... no present phoebe wee wee not in potty)... she is at the moment

trying me out to see what one of us are the more stubborn. but I KNOW it is me

)... I am lucky in the fact that her playgroup doesn't care about her being

in nappies (I know loads around here who wont take them until they are trained)

so it is not a big deal to get her trained as such apart from the fact that I

feel it is laziness on her part now (the other 2 times we have tried I quickly

felt that she was not ready so stopped).. I just get very down hearted about it

as I really don't like scooping up and wiping up pee and pooh every where ;o)...

(today will be better today will be better today will be better ;o) )

Lonnie Phoebe & Eloisa's mama

& expecting a Christmas delivery...

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you

start.

So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a Chocolate cake.

I feel better already.

August 25, 2001