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Re: Siobhan

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Hi Siobhan and welcome to the group :)

Sorry to hear that you've had a traumatic birth experience. It's just so

sad that this happens to so many of us - me included :(

was born in hospital in 1984, I was induced following SROM, had an

epidural and gave birth to my beautiful little boy in a room full of

uncaring staff and had a retained placenta removed manually with no

anaesthetic - the experience left me so traumatised I couldn't face having

another baby until 14 years later.

Mari was born at home and it was a wonderful home-birth, such a sense of

achievement and pride but then I was transferred to hospital with a retained

placenta and everything went 'pear shaped', *they* failed to recognise that

I was suffering a PPH and it culminated in me going into clinical shock and

having to be rushed to theatre for a GA and blood transfusions :( Once

again we were too traumatised to contemplate more children .... then along

came Babi, an unexpected but very welcome surprise ...

> My experience was that I thought I'd left the whole thing behind some time ago

> (daughter now 7 & 1/2). But once I was pregnant, it did come back to me

I found the trauma resurfaced once we knew I was PG but it has been

beneficial to us, we have painfully worked through everything that happened

before through this PG and I feel we are stronger now for it. We have just

decided to book an Independent MW (Annie on via the IMA Assoc)

because we feel this is how we can get the care that we need, she's

wonderful and has complete confidence in me and my ability to birth this

baby - I need that positive energy around me. We are planning a home

water-birth this time :)

The day after the first birth, the midwife who delivered my

> daughter came to see me to make very sure I was aware of the seriousness of

> the complications, in case I had a second child.

Why oh why do they do this, within days of Mari being born the MW told me

" you do know they wont allow you another home-birth don't you " etc. -

b****x!! why do they insist on this insensitivity when we are at our most

vulnerable ... sorry it makes me so angry ....

> The support from the midwives at the hospital was good too - the senior

> midwife from the AN clinic had told them of my fears, and I was given

> midwives sympathetic to my history and birth plan choices. That really

> helped.

Ahhhhhh good - a positive outcome :)

> So, my way of dealing with the fear, I guess, was control freakery.

Yep me too!!

> The most incredible thing for me in the second birth was how my brain just

> seemed programmed to expect everything to happen exactly the same way; I

> couldn't believe it when there were absolutely no problems with the second

> stage

So pleased for you :)

> Wow - you're right about

> the volume of mails... Is " digest " form a bit less overwhelming?

I'm on digest and find it far easier to manage, sometimes I wonder if it's

purely psychological but then it is easier to 'skim' messages and to reply

you simply highlight the message you're replying to and change the subject

header - I'd recommend trying digest and seeing how you get on.

Looking forward to 'seeing' your around 'on list' - enjoy :)

Jenni

(& Gethyn) 17yrs, Mari 3yrs (H/B), Babi Bach exp.09/2001 = 34wks+

" If you don't know your options - you don't have any "

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>The day after the first birth, the midwife who delivered my

>> daughter came to see me to make very sure I was aware of the seriousness of

>> the complications, in case I had a second child.

>

>Why oh why do they do this, within days of Mari being born the MW told me

> " you do know they wont allow you another home-birth don't you " etc. -

>b****x!! why do they insist on this insensitivity when we are at our most

>vulnerable ... sorry it makes me so angry ....

I had rather the opposite " Better luck next time " - as if the

homebirth experience was supposed to be just for me and not him! Yes,

I did get 'my' homebirth but didn't get his and lots happened

to him that I am not happy about (nothing major, just not how I

wanted it) in that hospital - and he wasn't there 24 hours!

--

jennifer@...

Vaudin

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