Re: Re: hello i'm knew/parisindy

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 7/22/2005 4:05:24 AM Eastern Standard Time,

iam_parisindy@... writes:

first thanks for responding ...it feels so weird to talk about it

but i appreciate an ear

my dad is 75. I'm 34...yet this whole thing has got me feeling like

a little kid again...i'm no ready to lose my daddy yet.

my dad had celiac (basically he is allergic to gluten) but otherwise

he is in great health. He's terrified though, of everything. Since

he has always been in perfect health this is the first time he's

ever been in the hospital. It's his mental state that worries me

more then his physical health in many ways. he cries a lot and i

don't know what to do.

the doctors say he has 'advanced colon cancer' but i really have no

idea what that means exactly. Our family doctor says there is only

on lump on the outside of his bowel. They drained it but they will

operate tuesday to remove it. One doctor seems totally positive and

optomistic while the other basically told my dad 'to get his affairs

in order cause it was really bad'

one doctor says it's an easy operation and there should be no

problems removing the tumour

the other says it's complex and he's not sure it all can be removed

and i don't know who to believe. i think the truth lies somewhere in

the middle.

My dad isn't in a cancer clinic as of yet...he's still on the

surgical ward of the hospital.

after the operation in five weeks he will go for Chemo and actually

this scares me more then the operation... my cousin who died from

lukemia didn't ever really seem sick till he started chemo... mind

you that was like 8 years ago so i'm not sure if things have changed

at all or not.

I have to say i'm terrifed. My family really only consists of my

dad, mom and me. And we are a tight knit group... i don't want to

loose him.

I'm from canada so i don't know if cancer treatment varies here from

other places but i'm really worried.

if it was really really really bad wouldn't they remove his colon...

both doctors said he shouldn't need a bag afterwards.

i'm really not sure what to think or do

Hi there " parisindy " ...

I know you are totally confused and scared to death...but you've come to the

right place to get answers, information, an opportunity to vent, cry, scream

(without being judged, b/c we know basically what you are going through, as

we are all doing the same thing). You can also laugh, joke and tease here.

We all need that, as well. Consider yourself part of our little family and

stay in touch as you can. We'll be here to help you through it all.

Hopefully as time goes on, the doctors will be in agreement of some kind.

What kind of drs. are the two you are you talking about? You might want to

make sure he has a " Board Certified " Colon Cancer Dr. And, always remember, it

is your Dad's choice as far as doctors go...if he's not happy or comfortable

with any dr., he can ALWAYS change drs.

Some times the colon cancer tumor is " really, really bad " , but it does not

always necessitate a bag...others on the list are more familiar with this

than I am, b/c Glenn did not have to have a bag, yet he had a large tumor

removed along with about 9 " of his colon and about 22 lymph nodes in that same

area, some of which were also malignant.

Chemo is a poison, sweetie...and it sometimes does make the cancer patient

very ill, but don't be worrying about that just yet. Sometimes the patient

has very little problems with chemo, is able to continue to work and live life

daily. You have weeks and weeks to go before that becomes your worry. Take

one day at a time, for your sake and your parents!!

The one thing I really wanted to say to you is that, in any situation like

this, it is always a good idea to " get your affairs in order " . Hopefully,

your Dad at his age, should already have most of this done. But, make sure he

has a Living Will (an Advance Medical Directive Appointment of Health Care

Agent) , a Durable Power of Attorney, a regular Power of Attorney and a regular

Will. These things are hard to deal with, but an absolute necessity, so you

and your Mom don't have a bunch of headaches, as time goes on or if Dad

should pass. Get all the dying things taken care of and then you can go on

with

living, without fear or worry!! This is absolutely a necessity for you, your

Mom and Dad's peace of mind!!!

You'll be added to our prayers, as well as Mom and Dad.

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn