Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 Why don't you open a joint account with your dh? J financial questions How do those of you with no monetary income (and even those who do earn 'your own' money) handle this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 Why don't you open a joint account with your dh? J financial questions How do those of you with no monetary income (and even those who do earn 'your own' money) handle this? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 " J.M. " wrote: > Why don't you open a joint account with your dh? > J And you could get him to apply for supplementary cards on his credit and charge card accounts. This is what DH has done and I have so much fun spending his money! V Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 Dick wrote: > > > Why don't you open a joint account with your dh? > > J > > And you could get him to apply for supplementary cards on his credit and > charge card accounts. >>>>>>>>>>>. The only " problem " with this is that the bank/credit card company will not speak to you about the account, so no use if your dh was taken ill and you needed to increase the credit card limit or something similar. I also am an authorised user on DH's card after I tore up my staff credit card after a row with the company. We do have a joint bank account but this really came about when I worked for the bank as DH was constantly overdrawn and it bugged my manager something rotten. I could at least keep a joint account in order. Trisha SAHM and no money earner! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 Dick wrote: > > > Why don't you open a joint account with your dh? > > J > > And you could get him to apply for supplementary cards on his credit and > charge card accounts. >>>>>>>>>>>. The only " problem " with this is that the bank/credit card company will not speak to you about the account, so no use if your dh was taken ill and you needed to increase the credit card limit or something similar. I also am an authorised user on DH's card after I tore up my staff credit card after a row with the company. We do have a joint bank account but this really came about when I worked for the bank as DH was constantly overdrawn and it bugged my manager something rotten. I could at least keep a joint account in order. Trisha SAHM and no money earner! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 > How do those of you with no monetary income (and even those > who do earn 'your own' money) handle this? I hope of course nothing happens to your DH, but even if he was just in hospital with a minor complaint you not having 'real' access to the finances could turn out to be a big problem. It might be time for you to work something out with him? DH and I have been through many (life and financial) stages over the last 10 years - both being students abroad (strictly separate incomes and accounts), living apart both working (again separate finances), living together with just one of us working (one person giving the other one limited spending money per month), living together with both of us working (separate accounts, but worked out who should pay what to leave each of us with a certain amount to 'spare'), and finally now with a joint account (joint pot, no matter who works and who doesn't and where). The last solution - I have to say - has taken a huge burden off our relationship; there is just much less of a need to discuss the issue at all. I don't have to ask him for money when I have run out, and he doesn't have to write the cheques for the bills (which he hates). I should add that my DH is generous enough, but it was just getting complicated and annoying that I had to rely on him for sorting out stuff that ultimately would benefit all of us. I'd consider a joint account if I were you, and if DH agrees. Or if not - at least to have an account opened in your name with him transferring a certain amount into it every month. I didn't really think it mattered, that's the reason we waited so long (we only got a joint account when I went on maternity leave with DD and was terrified that I would be working harder than ever before in my life but with no income...), but at least for us it works much better (of course now that I am working again my income goes into this joint account too). I guess it's all very well and good to get a certain amount of spending money, or to have his card - but it's ultimately more satisfying to write a cheque with your own signature (and a lot easier). Plus if anything happened and you needed to sort something out on your own - it would be much better to have 'legal' access to money wouldn't it. Karina (Amazed by, and grateful for, all the replies to my DH dilemma - which I am still reading). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 > How do those of you with no monetary income (and even those > who do earn 'your own' money) handle this? I hope of course nothing happens to your DH, but even if he was just in hospital with a minor complaint you not having 'real' access to the finances could turn out to be a big problem. It might be time for you to work something out with him? DH and I have been through many (life and financial) stages over the last 10 years - both being students abroad (strictly separate incomes and accounts), living apart both working (again separate finances), living together with just one of us working (one person giving the other one limited spending money per month), living together with both of us working (separate accounts, but worked out who should pay what to leave each of us with a certain amount to 'spare'), and finally now with a joint account (joint pot, no matter who works and who doesn't and where). The last solution - I have to say - has taken a huge burden off our relationship; there is just much less of a need to discuss the issue at all. I don't have to ask him for money when I have run out, and he doesn't have to write the cheques for the bills (which he hates). I should add that my DH is generous enough, but it was just getting complicated and annoying that I had to rely on him for sorting out stuff that ultimately would benefit all of us. I'd consider a joint account if I were you, and if DH agrees. Or if not - at least to have an account opened in your name with him transferring a certain amount into it every month. I didn't really think it mattered, that's the reason we waited so long (we only got a joint account when I went on maternity leave with DD and was terrified that I would be working harder than ever before in my life but with no income...), but at least for us it works much better (of course now that I am working again my income goes into this joint account too). I guess it's all very well and good to get a certain amount of spending money, or to have his card - but it's ultimately more satisfying to write a cheque with your own signature (and a lot easier). Plus if anything happened and you needed to sort something out on your own - it would be much better to have 'legal' access to money wouldn't it. Karina (Amazed by, and grateful for, all the replies to my DH dilemma - which I am still reading). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 << >> I had the biggest argument with our cable tv when we moved over this. it was dh's name on the " bill " but I had paid it several times with my own card without any trouble. When we was moving I rang them to arrange for it to be moved over and got told someone would ring back to confirm and this never happened when I rang back 3 days later I got told that they could not " discuss " this with me and wanted to speak to my dh.. I was furious and wrote a stinking letter of complaint. If they could not speak to me about moving the cable then I felt they should not be able to accept payment from me either (and I was also pissed off about the fact I had not been told this from word go) We got a letter of apology and all charges for the move was not charged.. and now it say's MR and MRS on the bill lol.. still pisses me off when I think about it though... Lonnie Phoebe & Eloisa's mama & expecting a Christmas delivery... My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a Chocolate cake. I feel better already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 << >> I had the biggest argument with our cable tv when we moved over this. it was dh's name on the " bill " but I had paid it several times with my own card without any trouble. When we was moving I rang them to arrange for it to be moved over and got told someone would ring back to confirm and this never happened when I rang back 3 days later I got told that they could not " discuss " this with me and wanted to speak to my dh.. I was furious and wrote a stinking letter of complaint. If they could not speak to me about moving the cable then I felt they should not be able to accept payment from me either (and I was also pissed off about the fact I had not been told this from word go) We got a letter of apology and all charges for the move was not charged.. and now it say's MR and MRS on the bill lol.. still pisses me off when I think about it though... Lonnie Phoebe & Eloisa's mama & expecting a Christmas delivery... My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a Chocolate cake. I feel better already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 We have a joint account and have had from before we got married. I don't recall us ever making the decision to have one it just seemed to happen because it was the easiest thing to do.. Also I never think about the money as " his " money they are ours.. He happens to be the one who get's named on the paycheck but I still do a lot of stuff around the house and with the kids so when it is in the account the money is ours.. dh's mum was a sahm so for him this was always the natural way of doing things so for him it is not a big deal either.. (he has never used the term my money to me) most bills get paid by direct debit as neither of us like to write cheque bills lol but all in all it is just our joint account... Lonnie Phoebe & Eloisa's mama & expecting a Christmas delivery... My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a Chocolate cake. I feel better already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 We have a joint account and have had from before we got married. I don't recall us ever making the decision to have one it just seemed to happen because it was the easiest thing to do.. Also I never think about the money as " his " money they are ours.. He happens to be the one who get's named on the paycheck but I still do a lot of stuff around the house and with the kids so when it is in the account the money is ours.. dh's mum was a sahm so for him this was always the natural way of doing things so for him it is not a big deal either.. (he has never used the term my money to me) most bills get paid by direct debit as neither of us like to write cheque bills lol but all in all it is just our joint account... Lonnie Phoebe & Eloisa's mama & expecting a Christmas delivery... My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you start. So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a Chocolate cake. I feel better already. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 Our Current Account is a joint account, so there's no problem. Most of our pitiful savings are in my name to take advantage of tax relief. I also get my child benefit in cash though perhaps you don't recieve that, being American? Lesley -------------- From: " Phyllis > In spite of having no income of my own, and never having > had an income in this country, I am getting more irritated > because I don't even have a bank account over here - either > in my own name or shared with my DH. I can't write cheques > and I can't even go into the bank and ask why their cash > machine doesn't work, because my name isn't on the card > (they were even a bit rude in the bank when I did). It's > even a bit worrying, in case something were to happen to DH > or even if he went out of town for a few days, I could be > left with no access to money. > > How do those of you with no monetary income (and even those > who do earn 'your own' money) handle this? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 Our Current Account is a joint account, so there's no problem. Most of our pitiful savings are in my name to take advantage of tax relief. I also get my child benefit in cash though perhaps you don't recieve that, being American? Lesley -------------- From: " Phyllis > In spite of having no income of my own, and never having > had an income in this country, I am getting more irritated > because I don't even have a bank account over here - either > in my own name or shared with my DH. I can't write cheques > and I can't even go into the bank and ask why their cash > machine doesn't work, because my name isn't on the card > (they were even a bit rude in the bank when I did). It's > even a bit worrying, in case something were to happen to DH > or even if he went out of town for a few days, I could be > left with no access to money. > > How do those of you with no monetary income (and even those > who do earn 'your own' money) handle this? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 Our Current Account is a joint account, so there's no problem. Most of our pitiful savings are in my name to take advantage of tax relief. I also get my child benefit in cash though perhaps you don't recieve that, being American? Lesley -------------- From: " Phyllis > In spite of having no income of my own, and never having > had an income in this country, I am getting more irritated > because I don't even have a bank account over here - either > in my own name or shared with my DH. I can't write cheques > and I can't even go into the bank and ask why their cash > machine doesn't work, because my name isn't on the card > (they were even a bit rude in the bank when I did). It's > even a bit worrying, in case something were to happen to DH > or even if he went out of town for a few days, I could be > left with no access to money. > > How do those of you with no monetary income (and even those > who do earn 'your own' money) handle this? > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 In a message dated 22/08/01 07:26:15 GMT Daylight Time, bj@... writes: > (who has taken 2 quiet weeks to get over being upset by this list > although she has still been reading most things - best not to ask as I don't > want this to develope into a saga!!) If it's best not ask, why do you even mention it? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 > How do those of you with no monetary income (and even those > who do earn 'your own' money) handle this? I still have my own bank account from before marriage - DH has a standing order (SO) to it for an amount to cover my endowmwnt, petrol and general day to day things, like toddler's etc. We have a joint account which my DH has a SO to for an amount to cover ALL weekly/monthly/yearly bills (this was MY bills account before marriage) e.g food shopping, gas electricity, car tax/maintenance, insurances DH still has his own bank account into which he has his salary and pays the mortgage and his endowment and the above (plus a SO to DS's savings) We both have credit cards - I but most things on mine and sort out what account it has to come from when I get the statement. Guess who sorts out the money in this house? Guess who always seems to go in the red each month? Grrrrr! (who has taken 2 quiet weeks to get over being upset by this list although she has still been reading most things - best not to ask as I don't want this to develope into a saga!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 > How do those of you with no monetary income (and even those > who do earn 'your own' money) handle this? I still have my own bank account from before marriage - DH has a standing order (SO) to it for an amount to cover my endowmwnt, petrol and general day to day things, like toddler's etc. We have a joint account which my DH has a SO to for an amount to cover ALL weekly/monthly/yearly bills (this was MY bills account before marriage) e.g food shopping, gas electricity, car tax/maintenance, insurances DH still has his own bank account into which he has his salary and pays the mortgage and his endowment and the above (plus a SO to DS's savings) We both have credit cards - I but most things on mine and sort out what account it has to come from when I get the statement. Guess who sorts out the money in this house? Guess who always seems to go in the red each month? Grrrrr! (who has taken 2 quiet weeks to get over being upset by this list although she has still been reading most things - best not to ask as I don't want this to develope into a saga!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 21, 2001 Report Share Posted August 21, 2001 > How do those of you with no monetary income (and even those > who do earn 'your own' money) handle this? I still have my own bank account from before marriage - DH has a standing order (SO) to it for an amount to cover my endowmwnt, petrol and general day to day things, like toddler's etc. We have a joint account which my DH has a SO to for an amount to cover ALL weekly/monthly/yearly bills (this was MY bills account before marriage) e.g food shopping, gas electricity, car tax/maintenance, insurances DH still has his own bank account into which he has his salary and pays the mortgage and his endowment and the above (plus a SO to DS's savings) We both have credit cards - I but most things on mine and sort out what account it has to come from when I get the statement. Guess who sorts out the money in this house? Guess who always seems to go in the red each month? Grrrrr! (who has taken 2 quiet weeks to get over being upset by this list although she has still been reading most things - best not to ask as I don't want this to develope into a saga!!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2001 Report Share Posted August 22, 2001 In a message dated 21/08/2001 21:20:46 GMT Daylight Time, plaatsch@... writes: > How do those of you with no monetary income (and even those > who do earn 'your own' money) handle this? > > Phyllis, a non-person I work in a bank, and this is a sorce of constant upset to partners who are unable to withdraw cash from partners accounts. Can you not fill out a mandate from the bank to get your name put on your partners account? Maybe he could open a number 2 account in joint names with you, just for your use, and transfer money into it monthly for you to use with a card. Just an idea..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2001 Report Share Posted August 22, 2001 In a message dated 22/08/2001 07:26:01 GMT Daylight Time, bj@... writes: > (who has taken 2 quiet weeks to get over being upset by this list > although she has still been reading most things - best not to ask as I don't > want this to develope into a saga!!) > > If you didnt want us to ask, why did you write that? . What has upset you, please tell? Mum to Rohan (6mths) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2001 Report Share Posted August 22, 2001 We have a joint account but I have my own account from before we were married which I use for Child Benefit and my Chronicle earnings (although I do buy all the children's clothes and pay for cleaner and childcare out of this). DH also has a separate account for his earnings from playing in the band, that way we each have our own private money to buy each other presents/splurge without the other having right of veto. Lesley ANT, tr BFC, Mother, Wife, Friend, Mender of Broken Hearts, Keeper of Secrets, Chauffeur, Cook, Maid, Writer. Overweight, Over thirty, Over here in Worthing.. " Believing Oneself to be perfect is often the sign of a delusional mind! " Star Trek. Re: Re: financial questions > We have a joint account and have had from before we got married. I don't recall us ever making the decision to have one it just seemed to happen because it was the easiest thing to do.. > Also I never think about the money as " his " money they are ours.. He happens to be the one who get's named on the paycheck but I still do a lot of stuff around the house and with the kids so when it is in the account the money is ours.. dh's mum was a sahm so for him this was always the natural way of doing things so for him it is not a big deal either.. (he has never used the term my money to me) most bills get paid by direct debit as neither of us like to write cheque bills lol but all in all it is just our joint account... > Lonnie Phoebe & Eloisa's mama > & expecting a Christmas delivery... > My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you start. > So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a Chocolate cake. > > I feel better already. > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2001 Report Share Posted August 22, 2001 > We have a joint account but I have my own account from before we were > married which I use for Child Benefit and my Chronicle earnings > (although I do buy all the children's clothes and pay for cleaner and > childcare out of this). DH also has a separate account for his > earnings from playing in the band, that way we each have our own > private money to buy each other presents/splurge without the other > having right of veto. > > Lesley I think the only real row about money between me and DH came when I started earning quite big royalty cheques from my books. I wanted it to be MY money as I had earned it, and I didn't want to have to justify buying myself things to him. He OTOH, said as the cheques were in dollars, I would be crazy if I just banked them in my sterling account in London; I'd lose about 40% in tax, and charges. In the end we have come to a reasonable (if not entirely satisfactory) compromise; he banks my cheques in his dollar account here in Israel (much less tax and charges) and credits me with X amount in sterling to be spent by me at my discretion ,no questions asked! To be fair to him, he doesn't often make a fuss when I spend money. It just hurts a little bit seeing my hard earned royalties being endorsed and disappearing into his bank, but at least I get almost the full amount, not less almost half. As to what husbands/wives do, I am cr*p at finances, so he does it all. He is cr*p at household things and doesn't yet know how to switch on the washing machine/dishwasher, hasn't cooked a meal since his Cambridge days, and even then it was out of a tin. We are both cr*p at DIY and car maintenance so we pay to get those done. What we both seem to be cr*p at, right now, is handling our teenager. I need one of those warm, empathetic Hollywood style Dads. Hollywood: Dad takes his son fishing and has deep and meaningfuls whilst sitting on a river bank gazing out over the water. The teenager always opens up to his father in those movies and is unfailingly reasonable mature and sensible, and Dad never loses his cool, or says any putdowns he just can't seem to help coming out with. Real life: A surly monosyllabic teen who grumps and 's about the house complaining how boring this holiday is, despite his new playstation and friends from London apparently coming out of the woodwork. And a father who shrugs and says things like : " What can I do? " ) Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 22, 2001 Report Share Posted August 22, 2001 > In spite of having no income of my own, and never having > had an income in this country, I am getting more irritated > because I don't even have a bank account over here - either > in my own name or shared with my DH. I can't write cheques > and I can't even go into the bank and ask why their cash > machine doesn't work, because my name isn't on the card > (they were even a bit rude in the bank when I did). It's > even a bit worrying, in case something were to happen to DH > or even if he went out of town for a few days, I could be > left with no access to money. > > How do those of you with no monetary income (and even those > who do earn 'your own' money) handle this? > > Phyllis, a non-person... Talk to the Citizen's Advice Bureau (in the phone book), they are great at helping out with things like this HTH Ruth > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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