Fwd: GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE, From Children to Oldsters!

[Guest guest]

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE

LEARNED

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your

hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the

second

person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10) The best place to be when you're sad is

Grandma's/Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

2) Wrinkles don't hurt.

3) Families are like fudge ...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

5) Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.

6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not

the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT OLDSTERS HAVE

LEARNED

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while

you're down

there.

4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a

rocking chair

that you once got from a roller coaster.

5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody

bothers to ask

you the questions.

6) Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

7) With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone.

[Guest guest]

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE

LEARNED

1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.

2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your

hair.

3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the

second

person.

4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food.

6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.

8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

10) The best place to be when you're sad is

Grandma's/Grandpa's lap.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED

1) Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.

2) Wrinkles don't hurt.

3) Families are like fudge ...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.

5) Laughing helps. It's like jogging on the inside.

6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not

the toy.

GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT LIFE THAT OLDSTERS HAVE

LEARNED

1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.

2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.

3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while

you're down

there.

4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a

rocking chair

that you once got from a roller coaster.

5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody

bothers to ask

you the questions.

6) Time may be a great healer, but it's also a lousy beautician.

7) With age comes wisdom, but sometimes age comes alone.