Fwd: Blonde's year in review

[Guest guest]

  A BLONDE'S YEAR IN REVIEW...

January

Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February

Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.

Helllloooo!!! ......bottles won't fit in printer!!!

March

Got really  excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months... box said  " 2-4

years !! "

 

April

Trapped on escalator for  hours - power went out !!!

May

Tried to make Kool-Aid...wrong instructions...8 cups of water won't fit into

those little packets !!!

June

Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope.

 

July

Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later - the other swimmers

cheated - they used their arms !!!

August

Got locked out of my car  in rain storm...car flooded because soft-top was

open.

September

The capital of California is "C"...isn't it ???

October

Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel.

November

Baked turkey for 4 1/2  days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I

weigh 108 !!

December

Couldn't call 911..."duh"... there's no "eleven" button on the stupid phone

!!!

THE  BEST BLONDE JOKE OF THE YEAR...

A  man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde

female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the  mailbox.

She  opened it - then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.

A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box - and

again opened it - slammed it shut again.

Angrily - back into the house she went.

As  the man was getting ready to edge the lawn here she came out again

marched to the mail box opened it and then slammed it closed harder than

ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her - "Is something wrong?"

To which she replied - "There certainly is!"

(Are  you ready? This is a beauty)

"My stupid computer keeps saying "YOU'VE GOT MAIL!"