Guest guest Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 any words of advice? My father was just diagnosed with advanced colon cancer... the outlook is bleak and i really just don't know where to start Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 Hi, Please post here more and talk to us. Sorry you are having to join us for these reasons. But you will find some support here as well as some answers to questions you may have. Tell us more on what they found with your father. I am adding him to my Prayers. Ingrid > any words of advice? My father was just diagnosed with advanced colon > cancer... > > the outlook is bleak and i really just don't know where to start Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 Hi, Please post here more and talk to us. Sorry you are having to join us for these reasons. But you will find some support here as well as some answers to questions you may have. Tell us more on what they found with your father. I am adding him to my Prayers. Ingrid > any words of advice? My father was just diagnosed with advanced colon > cancer... > > the outlook is bleak and i really just don't know where to start Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 - Hi, I just want to wish you all the best. Stay informed and ask questions. When my Dad was sick I didn't ask enough questions, I just took what they gave me, which wasn't enough, unfortunately for all of us. My Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in May of 2004. He died 4 months later at the age of 67. It happened so fast. They told us there was nothing they could do, but if I had it to do over again, I'd do everything differently, anything to have been able to save him. They said it was one of the most aggressive cases they had seen in a long time. I had him for 24 years and I will treasure each and every memory I have. My mother in law was also diagnosed with colon cancer 6 months before my Dad was. She was 42. She is in remission now. I guess her age worked for her. I would have taken Dad to a different doctor, and gotten another opinion. But he was so tired and sick. Again, I wish you all the best. Lynette-Daughter to Wallace Fraley 2/17/37-09/09/04 God Bless -- iam_parisindy iam_parisindy@...> wrote: > any words of advice? My father was just diagnosed > with advanced colon > cancer... > > the outlook is bleak and i really just don't know > where to start > > > > *Support Colon Cancer Awareness* __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 - Hi, I just want to wish you all the best. Stay informed and ask questions. When my Dad was sick I didn't ask enough questions, I just took what they gave me, which wasn't enough, unfortunately for all of us. My Dad was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer in May of 2004. He died 4 months later at the age of 67. It happened so fast. They told us there was nothing they could do, but if I had it to do over again, I'd do everything differently, anything to have been able to save him. They said it was one of the most aggressive cases they had seen in a long time. I had him for 24 years and I will treasure each and every memory I have. My mother in law was also diagnosed with colon cancer 6 months before my Dad was. She was 42. She is in remission now. I guess her age worked for her. I would have taken Dad to a different doctor, and gotten another opinion. But he was so tired and sick. Again, I wish you all the best. Lynette-Daughter to Wallace Fraley 2/17/37-09/09/04 God Bless -- iam_parisindy iam_parisindy@...> wrote: > any words of advice? My father was just diagnosed > with advanced colon > cancer... > > the outlook is bleak and i really just don't know > where to start > > > > *Support Colon Cancer Awareness* __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 First, welcome to this group, you will find support and information. You did not say how old your father is, or any details about his particular case. Perhaps you do not have much information yet. The stage and grade of his cancer, his age and general state of health will all factor into his treatment decisions. Ask what ever questions you have, and keep asking until you understand the answers. Generally speaking, the staff at cancer centers are very good about explaining disease processes,treatment choices,and what to expect, so ask. I know that some others have written that they felt they should have done more,got more opinions,tried alternative treatments, etc. for their loved one. BUT, please remember, it is your father who has the cancer, it is his life, and he must make the decisions that affect him. You can offer support and provide information, but ultimately, you have to accept his choices and they may be very different than those you would choose. So, arm yourself with some info and come back with your questions,we will be here. Hugs & Prayers, H --- iam_parisindy iam_parisindy@...> wrote: > any words of advice? My father was just diagnosed > with advanced colon > cancer... > > the outlook is bleak and i really just don't know > where to start > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 20, 2005 Report Share Posted July 20, 2005 First, welcome to this group, you will find support and information. You did not say how old your father is, or any details about his particular case. Perhaps you do not have much information yet. The stage and grade of his cancer, his age and general state of health will all factor into his treatment decisions. Ask what ever questions you have, and keep asking until you understand the answers. Generally speaking, the staff at cancer centers are very good about explaining disease processes,treatment choices,and what to expect, so ask. I know that some others have written that they felt they should have done more,got more opinions,tried alternative treatments, etc. for their loved one. BUT, please remember, it is your father who has the cancer, it is his life, and he must make the decisions that affect him. You can offer support and provide information, but ultimately, you have to accept his choices and they may be very different than those you would choose. So, arm yourself with some info and come back with your questions,we will be here. Hugs & Prayers, H --- iam_parisindy iam_parisindy@...> wrote: > any words of advice? My father was just diagnosed > with advanced colon > cancer... > > the outlook is bleak and i really just don't know > where to start > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2005 Report Share Posted July 21, 2005 I know its very scary, whats happening to your dad. I'm going through it with my mom. I also understand getting mixed stories from different doctors. Seems that happens alot. Once he actually has an oncologist it will be hopefully easier to get your questions answered. They (the surgeons) said my mom would be lucky to have 6 months. Its been 8 and she's still going strong. They were not able to remove her cancer at all. Try to stay positive and whenever you feel like ranting this is a great way to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2005 Report Share Posted July 21, 2005 I know its very scary, whats happening to your dad. I'm going through it with my mom. I also understand getting mixed stories from different doctors. Seems that happens alot. Once he actually has an oncologist it will be hopefully easier to get your questions answered. They (the surgeons) said my mom would be lucky to have 6 months. Its been 8 and she's still going strong. They were not able to remove her cancer at all. Try to stay positive and whenever you feel like ranting this is a great way to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 21, 2005 Report Share Posted July 21, 2005 I know its very scary, whats happening to your dad. I'm going through it with my mom. I also understand getting mixed stories from different doctors. Seems that happens alot. Once he actually has an oncologist it will be hopefully easier to get your questions answered. They (the surgeons) said my mom would be lucky to have 6 months. Its been 8 and she's still going strong. They were not able to remove her cancer at all. Try to stay positive and whenever you feel like ranting this is a great way to do it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2005 Report Share Posted July 22, 2005 first thanks for responding ...it feels so weird to talk about it but i appreciate an ear my dad is 75. I'm 34...yet this whole thing has got me feeling like a little kid again...i'm no ready to lose my daddy yet. my dad had celiac (basically he is allergic to gluten) but otherwise he is in great health. He's terrified though, of everything. Since he has always been in perfect health this is the first time he's ever been in the hospital. It's his mental state that worries me more then his physical health in many ways. he cries a lot and i don't know what to do. the doctors say he has 'advanced colon cancer' but i really have no idea what that means exactly. Our family doctor says there is only on lump on the outside of his bowel. They drained it but they will operate tuesday to remove it. One doctor seems totally positive and optomistic while the other basically told my dad 'to get his affairs in order cause it was really bad' one doctor says it's an easy operation and there should be no problems removing the tumour the other says it's complex and he's not sure it all can be removed and i don't know who to believe. i think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. My dad isn't in a cancer clinic as of yet...he's still on the surgical ward of the hospital. after the operation in five weeks he will go for Chemo and actually this scares me more then the operation... my cousin who died from lukemia didn't ever really seem sick till he started chemo... mind you that was like 8 years ago so i'm not sure if things have changed at all or not. I have to say i'm terrifed. My family really only consists of my dad, mom and me. And we are a tight knit group... i don't want to loose him. I'm from canada so i don't know if cancer treatment varies here from other places but i'm really worried. if it was really really really bad wouldn't they remove his colon... both doctors said he shouldn't need a bag afterwards. i'm really not sure what to think or do > > > any words of advice? My father was just diagnosed > > with advanced colon > > cancer... > > > > the outlook is bleak and i really just don't know > > where to start > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2005 Report Share Posted July 22, 2005 first thanks for responding ...it feels so weird to talk about it but i appreciate an ear my dad is 75. I'm 34...yet this whole thing has got me feeling like a little kid again...i'm no ready to lose my daddy yet. my dad had celiac (basically he is allergic to gluten) but otherwise he is in great health. He's terrified though, of everything. Since he has always been in perfect health this is the first time he's ever been in the hospital. It's his mental state that worries me more then his physical health in many ways. he cries a lot and i don't know what to do. the doctors say he has 'advanced colon cancer' but i really have no idea what that means exactly. Our family doctor says there is only on lump on the outside of his bowel. They drained it but they will operate tuesday to remove it. One doctor seems totally positive and optomistic while the other basically told my dad 'to get his affairs in order cause it was really bad' one doctor says it's an easy operation and there should be no problems removing the tumour the other says it's complex and he's not sure it all can be removed and i don't know who to believe. i think the truth lies somewhere in the middle. My dad isn't in a cancer clinic as of yet...he's still on the surgical ward of the hospital. after the operation in five weeks he will go for Chemo and actually this scares me more then the operation... my cousin who died from lukemia didn't ever really seem sick till he started chemo... mind you that was like 8 years ago so i'm not sure if things have changed at all or not. I have to say i'm terrifed. My family really only consists of my dad, mom and me. And we are a tight knit group... i don't want to loose him. I'm from canada so i don't know if cancer treatment varies here from other places but i'm really worried. if it was really really really bad wouldn't they remove his colon... both doctors said he shouldn't need a bag afterwards. i'm really not sure what to think or do > > > any words of advice? My father was just diagnosed > > with advanced colon > > cancer... > > > > the outlook is bleak and i really just don't know > > where to start > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2005 Report Share Posted July 22, 2005 I understand how you feel. Both my parents are gone and it is so sad, they didn't get to see their great grandchildren grow just a little bit, they barely saw their youngest grandchildren grow up. Mom never made her visit to Texas. Just so many if onlys.... I swear some docs need to go into another line of work. Believe colon cancer is treatable even in later stages... Do your best to calm your dad down. Once that growth is removed they can do a better report on just what is involved. Why a doc would tell him to get his affairs in order when he hasn't even seen what is inside yet, I just don't understand. My docs were all very positive and encouraging. My surgeon is a crazy kind of guy... My Onc very knowledgeable but also very busy, so I don't see him to often but he is only a phone call away if I need him. He is in San at the army medical facility. I am still waiting on the CT scan from week ago Friday. Anyway tell you dad not to panic.... Since he has always been in such good health all these things coming up will be strange and unknown and scarey.... But they really aren't. I got through them and I am nearly 64 yrs old. Not ready to give up yet. LOL... There are quite a few older folks here and surviving... So don't give up and and don't let him give up... The basic chemo for colon cancer is not as hard on the body as some treatments for other cancers are known to be..... Every person is different so everyone reacts just a little differently from someone else with same treatment. Just take it easy and read up on the info in the LINKS and FILE sections... Take care big hugs to you and your dad... Jolene iam_parisindy wrote: > first thanks for responding ...it feels so weird to talk about it > but i appreciate an ear > > my dad is 75. I'm 34...yet this whole thing has got me feeling like > a little kid again...i'm no ready to lose my daddy yet. > > my dad had celiac (basically he is allergic to gluten) but otherwise > he is in great health. He's terrified though, of everything. Since > he has always been in perfect health this is the first time he's > ever been in the hospital. It's his mental state that worries me > more then his physical health in many ways. he cries a lot and i > don't know what to do. > > the doctors say he has 'advanced colon cancer' but i really have no > idea what that means exactly. Our family doctor says there is only > on lump on the outside of his bowel. They drained it but they will > operate tuesday to remove it. One doctor seems totally positive and > optomistic while the other basically told my dad 'to get his affairs > in order cause it was really bad' > > one doctor says it's an easy operation and there should be no > problems removing the tumour > > the other says it's complex and he's not sure it all can be removed > > and i don't know who to believe. i think the truth lies somewhere in > the middle. > > My dad isn't in a cancer clinic as of yet...he's still on the > surgical ward of the hospital. > > after the operation in five weeks he will go for Chemo and actually > this scares me more then the operation... my cousin who died from > lukemia didn't ever really seem sick till he started chemo... mind > you that was like 8 years ago so i'm not sure if things have changed > at all or not. > > I have to say i'm terrifed. My family really only consists of my > dad, mom and me. And we are a tight knit group... i don't want to > loose him. > > I'm from canada so i don't know if cancer treatment varies here from > other places but i'm really worried. > > if it was really really really bad wouldn't they remove his colon... > both doctors said he shouldn't need a bag afterwards. > > i'm really not sure what to think or do > > > > > > > > > > > > > > any words of advice? My father was just diagnosed > > > with advanced colon > > > cancer... > > > > > > the outlook is bleak and i really just don't know > > > where to start > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2005 Report Share Posted July 22, 2005 I am so sorry you and your family have to go through this. Yes, I understand so much about different doctors opinions. I get different opinions from the same doctor which is even more confusing. You will not know how bad it is till after the surgery. They need to get in there to see what is really going on. Sad but true. All the scans can only tell you so much. Surgery is the best way to know what is really going on. I am Praying for your dad and hopefully they can get it all. Is there anyway you can get some counciling for your dad to help with his mental state. The fright of having to go through this is the worst. Ingrid > > > > > any words of advice? My father was just diagnosed > > > with advanced colon > > > cancer... > > > > > > the outlook is bleak and i really just don't know > > > where to start > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 22, 2005 Report Share Posted July 22, 2005 Dear iam, Everyone has sent you the best information. I would bejust like you if I were dealing with those doctors. I got very depressed during my treatment and even wound up in the hospital for depression for three weeks. Just go one day at a time. We are sending love and support. Maybe it would help if you read portions of some of these notes to your dad. You are the best judge. Karima (I have sent many notes to my family and friends) Re: Re: hello i'm knew I understand how you feel. Both my parents are gone and it is so sad, they didn't get to see their great grandchildren grow just a little bit, they barely saw their youngest grandchildren grow up. Mom never made her visit to Texas. Just so many if onlys.... I swear some docs need to go into another line of work. Believe colon cancer is treatable even in later stages... Do your best to calm your dad down. Once that growth is removed they can do a better report on just what is involved. Why a doc would tell him to get his affairs in order when he hasn't even seen what is inside yet, I just don't understand. My docs were all very positive and encouraging. My surgeon is a crazy kind of guy... My Onc very knowledgeable but also very busy, so I don't see him to often but he is only a phone call away if I need him. He is in San at the army medical facility. I am still waiting on the CT scan from week ago Friday. Anyway tell you dad not to panic.... Since he has always been in such good health all these things coming up will be strange and unknown and scarey.... But they really aren't. I got through them and I am nearly 64 yrs old. Not ready to give up yet. LOL... There are quite a few older folks here and surviving... So don't give up and and don't let him give up... The basic chemo for colon cancer is not as hard on the body as some treatments for other cancers are known to be..... Every person is different so everyone reacts just a little differently from someone else with same treatment. Just take it easy and read up on the info in the LINKS and FILE sections... Take care big hugs to you and your dad... Jolene iam_parisindy wrote: > first thanks for responding ...it feels so weird to talk about it > but i appreciate an ear > > my dad is 75. I'm 34...yet this whole thing has got me feeling like > a little kid again...i'm no ready to lose my daddy yet. > > my dad had celiac (basically he is allergic to gluten) but otherwise > he is in great health. He's terrified though, of everything. Since > he has always been in perfect health this is the first time he's > ever been in the hospital. It's his mental state that worries me > more then his physical health in many ways. he cries a lot and i > don't know what to do. > > the doctors say he has 'advanced colon cancer' but i really have no > idea what that means exactly. Our family doctor says there is only > on lump on the outside of his bowel. They drained it but they will > operate tuesday to remove it. One doctor seems totally positive and > optomistic while the other basically told my dad 'to get his affairs > in order cause it was really bad' > > one doctor says it's an easy operation and there should be no > problems removing the tumour > > the other says it's complex and he's not sure it all can be removed > > and i don't know who to believe. i think the truth lies somewhere in > the middle. > > My dad isn't in a cancer clinic as of yet...he's still on the > surgical ward of the hospital. > > after the operation in five weeks he will go for Chemo and actually > this scares me more then the operation... my cousin who died from > lukemia didn't ever really seem sick till he started chemo... mind > you that was like 8 years ago so i'm not sure if things have changed > at all or not. > > I have to say i'm terrifed. My family really only consists of my > dad, mom and me. And we are a tight knit group... i don't want to > loose him. > > I'm from canada so i don't know if cancer treatment varies here from > other places but i'm really worried. > > if it was really really really bad wouldn't they remove his colon... > both doctors said he shouldn't need a bag afterwards. > > i'm really not sure what to think or do > > > > > > > > > > > > > > any words of advice? My father was just diagnosed > > > with advanced colon > > > cancer... > > > > > > the outlook is bleak and i really just don't know > > > where to start > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > __________________________________________________ > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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