Guest guest Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 The first thing that sprang to mind was, does she see this as a way of *not* having to go to school? phine (Mum to 3.5 & Ben 2.5, Cambridge NCT) > BeverlyWhat annoys/hurts the most is that I ask her > continually if she needs to go and she says no, then she does one in > her knickers and denies it! > What can I do? I am at my wits end. I have told her that only babies > poo their knickers and she will not be able to go to school. Her > answer to this is a quick shrug of the shoulders and tells me she'd > rather play in the garden. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 The first thing that sprang to mind was, does she see this as a way of *not* having to go to school? phine (Mum to 3.5 & Ben 2.5, Cambridge NCT) > BeverlyWhat annoys/hurts the most is that I ask her > continually if she needs to go and she says no, then she does one in > her knickers and denies it! > What can I do? I am at my wits end. I have told her that only babies > poo their knickers and she will not be able to go to school. Her > answer to this is a quick shrug of the shoulders and tells me she'd > rather play in the garden. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 The first thing that sprang to mind was, does she see this as a way of *not* having to go to school? phine (Mum to 3.5 & Ben 2.5, Cambridge NCT) > BeverlyWhat annoys/hurts the most is that I ask her > continually if she needs to go and she says no, then she does one in > her knickers and denies it! > What can I do? I am at my wits end. I have told her that only babies > poo their knickers and she will not be able to go to school. Her > answer to this is a quick shrug of the shoulders and tells me she'd > rather play in the garden. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 > What can I do? I am at my wits end. I have told her that only babies > poo their knickers and she will not be able to go to school. Her > answer to this is a quick shrug of the shoulders and tells me she'd > rather play in the garden. > Thanks in advance for listening and helping > > Beverly > SAHM Grace the Poo Monster and Emilie aged 14 months Firstly, children often revert to more babyish behaviour when they are away or in a different situation from usual. You mentioned that it " hurt " you when she denied having done the obvious. This is a clue I think; if she feels she can *get at* you by this behaviour, it is rewarding for her to continue. If you are hurt by a 2.5 yr old, boy oh boy are you in for some fun times when she hits her teens!! :-)) I think you will achieve success *much* quicker if you stand back from the situation, don't take it as a personal attack on your mothering abilities, and just chill If she was reliable before, she can be again, right now she is winding you up and you are letting it get to you. It's a kind of tantrum, only anal if you get my meaning!! Secondly, I have mixed feelings whether or not she doesn't want to go to school. I think kids of that age are far cleverer than we give them credit for, and she has a pretty good idea that you are keen for her to go to school and that it is an empty threat. However, the more you push the " you wont be able to go to school " thing, the more she'll play on it. You are probably likely to score points if you say " fine, you'll go to school in pull ups and you'll be the *only* one there, because you're being so silly and babyish. But I don't care, it's up to you. " And *mean* it. The more devil-may-care you are about the whole thing the quicker she'll get bored of winding you up, bc you are unwindupable Reminds me of when my foster son used to say " I hate this house! I want to run away! " I used to say calmly: " off you go and pack then, and I'll make you sandwiches. " He never did! Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 > What can I do? I am at my wits end. I have told her that only babies > poo their knickers and she will not be able to go to school. Her > answer to this is a quick shrug of the shoulders and tells me she'd > rather play in the garden. > Thanks in advance for listening and helping > > Beverly > SAHM Grace the Poo Monster and Emilie aged 14 months Firstly, children often revert to more babyish behaviour when they are away or in a different situation from usual. You mentioned that it " hurt " you when she denied having done the obvious. This is a clue I think; if she feels she can *get at* you by this behaviour, it is rewarding for her to continue. If you are hurt by a 2.5 yr old, boy oh boy are you in for some fun times when she hits her teens!! :-)) I think you will achieve success *much* quicker if you stand back from the situation, don't take it as a personal attack on your mothering abilities, and just chill If she was reliable before, she can be again, right now she is winding you up and you are letting it get to you. It's a kind of tantrum, only anal if you get my meaning!! Secondly, I have mixed feelings whether or not she doesn't want to go to school. I think kids of that age are far cleverer than we give them credit for, and she has a pretty good idea that you are keen for her to go to school and that it is an empty threat. However, the more you push the " you wont be able to go to school " thing, the more she'll play on it. You are probably likely to score points if you say " fine, you'll go to school in pull ups and you'll be the *only* one there, because you're being so silly and babyish. But I don't care, it's up to you. " And *mean* it. The more devil-may-care you are about the whole thing the quicker she'll get bored of winding you up, bc you are unwindupable Reminds me of when my foster son used to say " I hate this house! I want to run away! " I used to say calmly: " off you go and pack then, and I'll make you sandwiches. " He never did! Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 > What can I do? I am at my wits end. I have told her that only babies > poo their knickers and she will not be able to go to school. Her > answer to this is a quick shrug of the shoulders and tells me she'd > rather play in the garden. > Thanks in advance for listening and helping > > Beverly > SAHM Grace the Poo Monster and Emilie aged 14 months Firstly, children often revert to more babyish behaviour when they are away or in a different situation from usual. You mentioned that it " hurt " you when she denied having done the obvious. This is a clue I think; if she feels she can *get at* you by this behaviour, it is rewarding for her to continue. If you are hurt by a 2.5 yr old, boy oh boy are you in for some fun times when she hits her teens!! :-)) I think you will achieve success *much* quicker if you stand back from the situation, don't take it as a personal attack on your mothering abilities, and just chill If she was reliable before, she can be again, right now she is winding you up and you are letting it get to you. It's a kind of tantrum, only anal if you get my meaning!! Secondly, I have mixed feelings whether or not she doesn't want to go to school. I think kids of that age are far cleverer than we give them credit for, and she has a pretty good idea that you are keen for her to go to school and that it is an empty threat. However, the more you push the " you wont be able to go to school " thing, the more she'll play on it. You are probably likely to score points if you say " fine, you'll go to school in pull ups and you'll be the *only* one there, because you're being so silly and babyish. But I don't care, it's up to you. " And *mean* it. The more devil-may-care you are about the whole thing the quicker she'll get bored of winding you up, bc you are unwindupable Reminds me of when my foster son used to say " I hate this house! I want to run away! " I used to say calmly: " off you go and pack then, and I'll make you sandwiches. " He never did! Ruthie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 > >Reminds me of when my foster son used to say " I hate this house! I >want to run away! " I used to say calmly: " off you go and pack then, >and I'll make you sandwiches. " He never did! > >Ruthie I packed (suitcase full of knickers and one teddy) and went to the front door. However, my parents did suggest that I have my tea before I went and I agreed (I haven't changed much!) After this opportunity for consideration I fixed them with an eagle stare and waggled my finger and told them they had five more chances. (I find it very interesting that they can't remember the serious parenting error on their part which had lead to my decision to go and live with grandma. But then, neither can I!) -- jennifer@... Vaudin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 Beverley, IMHO, at 2 yrs 10 m she is not old enough to understand consequences like not being able to go to school. Carys (2 yrs 11m) has been going through a bit of a similar thing recently, she wees everywhere because she can't be bothered to go to the loo - particularly when she is out in the garden. Emma did this too. A lot of children hate strange loos so it may have been a reaction to strange environment plus dodgy tum that started it and now its just become an " I can't be bothered " reaction (plus as Ruthie says she's just found a great new way to wind mother up). Take her to the loo regularly ( don't ask they never tell you they need to go when they are playing!) loads of praise when she does what she's supposed to, minimal reaction when she has an accident , perhaps a star chart and you'll be there. Sometimes toddlers who get a tummy bug develop toddler diarrohoea for a while afterwards and thats a possiblity you could discuss with your doctor. We had to put Kieran on a milk free diet for 14 days which didn't work to rule out lactose intolerence (which also can develop after a tummy upset) and then we just had to wait for it to clear up. HTH, Lesley ANT, tr BFC, Mother, Wife, Friend, Mender of Broken Hearts, Keeper of Secrets, Chauffeur, Cook, Maid, Writer. Overweight, Over thirty, Over here in Worthing.. " Believing Oneself to be perfect is often the sign of a delusional mind! " Star Trek. toliet training help > Hi all > > Have been a bit quiet since my return from holiday - I had forgotten > the sheer amount of mail just this group produces alone! Anyway, > wondered if any of you could help with a problem that has developed > with DD1 (aged 2 yrs 10 months). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 Beverley, IMHO, at 2 yrs 10 m she is not old enough to understand consequences like not being able to go to school. Carys (2 yrs 11m) has been going through a bit of a similar thing recently, she wees everywhere because she can't be bothered to go to the loo - particularly when she is out in the garden. Emma did this too. A lot of children hate strange loos so it may have been a reaction to strange environment plus dodgy tum that started it and now its just become an " I can't be bothered " reaction (plus as Ruthie says she's just found a great new way to wind mother up). Take her to the loo regularly ( don't ask they never tell you they need to go when they are playing!) loads of praise when she does what she's supposed to, minimal reaction when she has an accident , perhaps a star chart and you'll be there. Sometimes toddlers who get a tummy bug develop toddler diarrohoea for a while afterwards and thats a possiblity you could discuss with your doctor. We had to put Kieran on a milk free diet for 14 days which didn't work to rule out lactose intolerence (which also can develop after a tummy upset) and then we just had to wait for it to clear up. HTH, Lesley ANT, tr BFC, Mother, Wife, Friend, Mender of Broken Hearts, Keeper of Secrets, Chauffeur, Cook, Maid, Writer. Overweight, Over thirty, Over here in Worthing.. " Believing Oneself to be perfect is often the sign of a delusional mind! " Star Trek. toliet training help > Hi all > > Have been a bit quiet since my return from holiday - I had forgotten > the sheer amount of mail just this group produces alone! Anyway, > wondered if any of you could help with a problem that has developed > with DD1 (aged 2 yrs 10 months). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 Beverley, IMHO, at 2 yrs 10 m she is not old enough to understand consequences like not being able to go to school. Carys (2 yrs 11m) has been going through a bit of a similar thing recently, she wees everywhere because she can't be bothered to go to the loo - particularly when she is out in the garden. Emma did this too. A lot of children hate strange loos so it may have been a reaction to strange environment plus dodgy tum that started it and now its just become an " I can't be bothered " reaction (plus as Ruthie says she's just found a great new way to wind mother up). Take her to the loo regularly ( don't ask they never tell you they need to go when they are playing!) loads of praise when she does what she's supposed to, minimal reaction when she has an accident , perhaps a star chart and you'll be there. Sometimes toddlers who get a tummy bug develop toddler diarrohoea for a while afterwards and thats a possiblity you could discuss with your doctor. We had to put Kieran on a milk free diet for 14 days which didn't work to rule out lactose intolerence (which also can develop after a tummy upset) and then we just had to wait for it to clear up. HTH, Lesley ANT, tr BFC, Mother, Wife, Friend, Mender of Broken Hearts, Keeper of Secrets, Chauffeur, Cook, Maid, Writer. Overweight, Over thirty, Over here in Worthing.. " Believing Oneself to be perfect is often the sign of a delusional mind! " Star Trek. toliet training help > Hi all > > Have been a bit quiet since my return from holiday - I had forgotten > the sheer amount of mail just this group produces alone! Anyway, > wondered if any of you could help with a problem that has developed > with DD1 (aged 2 yrs 10 months). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 Oh Beverley, You poor thing - just think on the bright side - you have had 7 months without nappies! I have just put mine back in nappies as he is absolutely hopeless on the potty front. Now he has taken to taking them off and I have had another incident of poo on the grass! And a bit on the lounge floor (good job stripped for DIY!) and a bit on his hoop, heaven only knows if there is some more lurking somewhere!!! Then later, nappy removal and starting to wee on the bean bag! Afraid I went ballistic! He now has body suits on to hopefully stop the nappy removal. This whole episode is a real pain >......................Grace has been potty trained fully > for a good 7 months with very few accidents (both poo and wee), > although I still put her in pull-ups when she goes down for her > afternoon nap. Whilst on holiday she started to poo herself. ..................... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 >I have > had another incident of poo on the grass! And a bit on the lounge floor > (good job stripped for DIY!) and a bit on his hoop, heaven only knows if > there is some more lurking somewhere!!! Well, I had a nice surprise on my calculator yesturday. I suppose I shouldn't have left it on the floor really. Lynda SAHM to (8), (5), Fraser (3), Callum (15/5/00) Newsletter editor, Mid-Northumberland Branch Area Rep, Region 7 www.familygarland.co.uk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 >I have > had another incident of poo on the grass! And a bit on the lounge floor > (good job stripped for DIY!) and a bit on his hoop, heaven only knows if > there is some more lurking somewhere!!! Well, I had a nice surprise on my calculator yesturday. I suppose I shouldn't have left it on the floor really. Lynda SAHM to (8), (5), Fraser (3), Callum (15/5/00) Newsletter editor, Mid-Northumberland Branch Area Rep, Region 7 www.familygarland.co.uk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 While potty training once walked up to me, towards the end of an NCT coffee morning, with a cup from his tea set in his hand - not sensing/smelling anything wrong I said 'Oh is that a cup of tea for me?' 'No - poo Mummy!' Lynda Garland wrote: > > > Well, I had a nice surprise on my calculator yesturday. I suppose I shouldn't > have left it on the floor really. > > Lynda > SAHM to (8), (5), Fraser (3), Callum (15/5/00) > Newsletter editor, Mid-Northumberland Branch > Area Rep, Region 7 > www.familygarland.co.uk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 While potty training once walked up to me, towards the end of an NCT coffee morning, with a cup from his tea set in his hand - not sensing/smelling anything wrong I said 'Oh is that a cup of tea for me?' 'No - poo Mummy!' Lynda Garland wrote: > > > Well, I had a nice surprise on my calculator yesturday. I suppose I shouldn't > have left it on the floor really. > > Lynda > SAHM to (8), (5), Fraser (3), Callum (15/5/00) > Newsletter editor, Mid-Northumberland Branch > Area Rep, Region 7 > www.familygarland.co.uk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted June 11, 2001 Report Share Posted June 11, 2001 Beverley - just a thought and probably not the problem - but my lactose intolerance started after a tummy upset (albeit a fairly major one) and it manifests itself with loose bowels.... Probably it's just one of those little regressions that you'll look back on in six months as a short phase (I hope for you!) Caro Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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