SANDS

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 6/12/01 11:05:07 AM W. Australia Standard Time, Lesley

writes:

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> Solace for parents of stillborn babies

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SANDS were a great support for me after was born - particularly the

one-to-one befriending scheme.

I would, however, dispute the bit about saying that health professionals,

friends etc. brush it under the carpet and are embarrassed about it. Of all

the people I have ever met - I can only think of one person who was

embarrassed about it - the rest have always being wonderfully supportive

(especially at the time - nearly 7 years ago now). We have always felt very

comfortable talking about with other people, and have received

nothing but comfort and support from people. Perhaps I have been lucky, but

I think things have come a long way in the last 10 to 15 years. I saw a

video of an Esther Rantzen programme from the 70's or early 80's and things

were different then. SANDS must take a lot of credit for this improvement in

attitudes - particularly from Health professionals.

Funnily enough I never feel the need to visit 's grave - he is buried

in Cheadle Cemetery (now on the other side of the world). In the past 7

years, I have perhaps visited his grave 4 or 5 times. My memorials are the

photos, labour records, post mortem report, letter and cards.

If you ever find yourself talking to someone who's baby has died - please do

let them talk and acknowledge their baby as a person - no matter how long he

lived, and I would recommend SANDS to anyone.

Debbie Slater

Perth, WA