Re:Men taking time off around birth (was New Men)

[Guest guest]

this tread (I have read with interest) has made me very curious as to how long

all your dh's took off around the birth.. For me it went like this..

Phoebe was born on a Friday but I went into labour on the Thursday morning.. Dh

went into work at 8 am to pick up some work to do from home (this was meant to

take 1 hour max) he arrived home again at 3 pm..... then he was off the rest

of that day and off all day Friday (As we went into the labour ward just after

midnight) then he was off over the weekend and the Monday and Tuesday and

returned to work on the Wednesday... so he took 3 days off in total for the

entire thing..

With Eloisa, she was born on Thursday morning (I had rung him on the Wednesday

afternoon around 430-5 pm to tell him to get home) he took the rest of Thursday

off (though he had about 8 phone conversations with work) had the Friday off

(where he spend 4 hours in total on the Phone) then Saturday Sunday off..

Monday off (but was working the entire day at one point had me pull out the

phone plug as my milk was coming in no end and I needed to get through to the

midwifes - I had asked him repeatedly to get off the phone) Then he was meant

to go into work on the Tuesday in the morning while I went with my friend to our

mother and toddler group.. He arrived home at 5 30 pm.... went into work on the

Wednesday (his birthday) at 9 pm arrived home at 10 pm in the evening ..

Thursday I had enough (baby blues hitting completely) and I rang him and told

him in no uncertain terms what I thought of him his boss and his entire work...

he rang me back 1 hour later to tell me he had taken off the Monday and the

Tuesday as I was " obviously not coping well!!!!! " (he still gets a lot of stick

from that one)..

This time around he has been informed in no uncertain terms that he will be

allowed 2 no more than 10 mins phone calls to his work. ANYTHING ELSE can go via

the email and they are NOT to expect him back for at least 1 week.. (as I am due

around Christmas I really do not feel this should be a problem ;o) ) he as

accepted that this is part of the " deal " and he also knows it is non negotiable

;o)... I guess I learned as I went on that unless I was firm it was not going

to happen...

still I did better than my friend who gave birth at 7 am partner left at 8 am

and went to work and did not show up again to visit her and son until 8 pm that

evening (and took no other time off)

Lonnie Phoebe & Eloisa's mama

& expecting a Christmas delivery...

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you

start.

So far today, I have finished 2 bags of chips and a Chocolate cake.

I feel better already.

Re: Re: New Men

>>>Ruthie wrote:

>>>This New Man thing, with men taking two weeks, or even one week off, after

a baby is born, was a total revelation to me when I started teaching!

But is it not true Ruthie that in your culture you also tend to live in quite

close-knit communities, with perhaps a range of relatives and/or friends around?

It is just the impression I have from many of my Jewish friends, that they often

have parents, sisters, friends from the synagogue, all in a relatively short

distance away. Is that your feeling to, or does it just look like this from the

outside?

So I wonder if partly the man's involvement is not just the " new man " idea,

but also the lack of anyone else around to help, as more and more people move

cities away from their family and friends. It was very common in Norway too only

half a century ago to depend much more on the immediate environment, but

nowadays there's usually noone around to help other than perhaps your mum, who

is usually working full time in another part of the country.

My family has been brilliant in flying to the UK to help when I've my

children, but of course they could only stay a short time, and couldn't time

their flights to necessarily coincide with the birth. So it was either DH or

nothing, really. He's taken 2 weeks off both times (minimum, I think, if there's

noone else around...), but mostly holiday since his paternity leave was only 5

and 2 days respectively.

Karina

Mum to Emilia (Oct 98) and Sebastian (Aug 00)

[Guest guest]

still I did better than my friend who gave birth at 7 am partner

left at 8 am and went to work and did not show up again to visit her

and son until 8 pm that evening (and took no other time off)>

That sounds like my DH!

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

With DH actually took a work phone call in the car on the way to

hospital, he took a week 'off' but was still on call, and as I have said he's

pretty much here all the time. Again with Kitty I think he took a week off.

The next baby is due in the third week of January and DH *has* to go to America

on 29th January - condeming me to my mother's 'care' as she has promised to fly

over to 'look after' me - what joy!

http://www.foxstitch.co.uk/

Lonnie Fletcher wrote:

> this tread (I have read with interest) has made me very curious as to how long

all your dh's took off around the birth.. For me it went like this..

[Guest guest]

With DH actually took a work phone call in the car on the way to

hospital, he took a week 'off' but was still on call, and as I have said he's

pretty much here all the time. Again with Kitty I think he took a week off.

The next baby is due in the third week of January and DH *has* to go to America

on 29th January - condeming me to my mother's 'care' as she has promised to fly

over to 'look after' me - what joy!

http://www.foxstitch.co.uk/

Lonnie Fletcher wrote:

> this tread (I have read with interest) has made me very curious as to how long

all your dh's took off around the birth.. For me it went like this..

[Guest guest]

The next baby is due in the third week of January and DH *has*

to go to America on 29th January - condeming me to my

mother's 'care' as she has promised to fly over to 'look after' me -

what joy!

I see you have finally let the cat out of the bag then..

Caroline

[Guest guest]

Two weeks each time here. For the last two babies one week has been actual

paternity leave(they introduced this), the rest was holiday....

Hannah, 27

Mum to Bethany 7, Lawrence 5 1/2, Verity 3, Alfie 4 months

Visit me on the web at :-

http://hannahshome.20m.com

[Guest guest]

> With DH actually took a work phone call in the car on the way to

hospital, he took a week 'off' but was still on call, and as I have said

he's pretty much here all the time. Again with Kitty I think he took a week

off. The next baby is due in the third week of January and DH *has* to go

to America on 29th January - condeming me to my mother's 'care' as she has

promised to fly over to 'look after' me - what joy!

>

>

Congratulations !! That's two on the list due dec/jan this/next

year - anymore for anymore?

Hannah, 27

Mum to Bethany 7, Lawrence 5 1/2, Verity 3, Alfie 4 months

Visit me on the web at :-

http://hannahshome.20m.com

[Guest guest]

Didn't mean to!! Forgot which list I was on! Oops!

http://www.foxstitch.co.uk/

Caroline Pearce wrote:

>

> I see you have finally let the cat out of the bag then..

>

> Caroline

>

[Guest guest]

> Congratulations !! That's two on the list due dec/jan this/next

> year - anymore for anymore?

I wish - chance would be a fine thing.

[Guest guest]

> Congratulations !! That's two on the list due dec/jan this/next

> year - anymore for anymore?

I wish - chance would be a fine thing.

[Guest guest]

- anymore for anymore?

Actually who used to be on this list is expecting one in

December. You may remember she lost 2 - so this is very very

special.

Hope she doesn't mind me announcing it.

Caroline

[Guest guest]

Actually who used to be on this list is expecting one in

> December. You may remember she lost 2 - so this is very very

> special.

> Hope she doesn't mind me announcing it.

> Caroline

in Farnborough? Oh that's lovely news!! ))

Hannah, 27

Mum to Bethany 7, Lawrence 5 1/2, Verity 3, Alfie 4 months

Visit me on the web at :-

http://hannahshome.20m.com