Guest guest Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 Lou - Keep the faith sister! I have a 27 year old son that is much the same. Know that he loves you and keep the communication lines open. Fight the fight for yourself. Keep doing what you have to do to improve your quality of life. Know we are here for you. Stefani > > I went down to 20 on the oxygen flow and stopped the senna (lax), and a few of the other drugs, have become a little more aware of my surroundings. The xanax and some of the other ones are by request from me only. This past week has been from 'hell' (sorry), this week little better. I feel today more connected with myself and more alive I think. Yesterday the nurse from Hospice said " no more 3 1/2 hr. naps " , only 30 minute naps. Then later if I want another 30 min. nap. Too much in bed and not enough exercise is horrible for me. I am not that kind of person. If I want to continue my life I must change my attitude as now it sucks. I don't want to be here any more has been my latest thoughts and I must shake that away from my brain. > > Earl has been reworking my masks to make them more comfortable and workable to my comfort level which seems to be working. Not so many drugs makes me more awake and more level headed. Was getting to the point of no return with drugs for IPF and HP. Earl has taken 3 days off to work with me on the mask but if I eat we have to figure out a way to eat and lift the mask up to put a mouthful of food in there same time. This part is difficult so far. > > Nurse from Hospice said too much sleep will make me weak and it has too. The IPF and HP have finally come like a tornado to me and my mind and body, blowing me around in large circles and feeling the brunt of each bang as it passes by. > > There is only one more thing for my zest for life which is falling fast and that is now the decision to want to live. This I knew would become a problem. This is so difficult to write about so I wont, ok! > > I think one of the major points of why I don't want to die right now is knowing where my son is and why he doesn't write or care about his Mom. Inexcusable and so heartbreaking. Maybe if I saw him, then I could GO. And I believe until that happens, I won't GO. > > I must go now, hurt too much to write anymore from my heart. > > I continue to love each and one of you every day and minute and I will continue to pray for each and every one of you each day as they too go by. > > I LOVE YOU THIS DAY > MARY LOU PATTERSON > IPF - HP > 2002- > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 Lou - Keep the faith sister! I have a 27 year old son that is much the same. Know that he loves you and keep the communication lines open. Fight the fight for yourself. Keep doing what you have to do to improve your quality of life. Know we are here for you. Stefani > > I went down to 20 on the oxygen flow and stopped the senna (lax), and a few of the other drugs, have become a little more aware of my surroundings. The xanax and some of the other ones are by request from me only. This past week has been from 'hell' (sorry), this week little better. I feel today more connected with myself and more alive I think. Yesterday the nurse from Hospice said " no more 3 1/2 hr. naps " , only 30 minute naps. Then later if I want another 30 min. nap. Too much in bed and not enough exercise is horrible for me. I am not that kind of person. If I want to continue my life I must change my attitude as now it sucks. I don't want to be here any more has been my latest thoughts and I must shake that away from my brain. > > Earl has been reworking my masks to make them more comfortable and workable to my comfort level which seems to be working. Not so many drugs makes me more awake and more level headed. Was getting to the point of no return with drugs for IPF and HP. Earl has taken 3 days off to work with me on the mask but if I eat we have to figure out a way to eat and lift the mask up to put a mouthful of food in there same time. This part is difficult so far. > > Nurse from Hospice said too much sleep will make me weak and it has too. The IPF and HP have finally come like a tornado to me and my mind and body, blowing me around in large circles and feeling the brunt of each bang as it passes by. > > There is only one more thing for my zest for life which is falling fast and that is now the decision to want to live. This I knew would become a problem. This is so difficult to write about so I wont, ok! > > I think one of the major points of why I don't want to die right now is knowing where my son is and why he doesn't write or care about his Mom. Inexcusable and so heartbreaking. Maybe if I saw him, then I could GO. And I believe until that happens, I won't GO. > > I must go now, hurt too much to write anymore from my heart. > > I continue to love each and one of you every day and minute and I will continue to pray for each and every one of you each day as they too go by. > > I LOVE YOU THIS DAY > MARY LOU PATTERSON > IPF - HP > 2002- > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 Lou - Keep the faith sister! I have a 27 year old son that is much the same. Know that he loves you and keep the communication lines open. Fight the fight for yourself. Keep doing what you have to do to improve your quality of life. Know we are here for you. Stefani > > I went down to 20 on the oxygen flow and stopped the senna (lax), and a few of the other drugs, have become a little more aware of my surroundings. The xanax and some of the other ones are by request from me only. This past week has been from 'hell' (sorry), this week little better. I feel today more connected with myself and more alive I think. Yesterday the nurse from Hospice said " no more 3 1/2 hr. naps " , only 30 minute naps. Then later if I want another 30 min. nap. Too much in bed and not enough exercise is horrible for me. I am not that kind of person. If I want to continue my life I must change my attitude as now it sucks. I don't want to be here any more has been my latest thoughts and I must shake that away from my brain. > > Earl has been reworking my masks to make them more comfortable and workable to my comfort level which seems to be working. Not so many drugs makes me more awake and more level headed. Was getting to the point of no return with drugs for IPF and HP. Earl has taken 3 days off to work with me on the mask but if I eat we have to figure out a way to eat and lift the mask up to put a mouthful of food in there same time. This part is difficult so far. > > Nurse from Hospice said too much sleep will make me weak and it has too. The IPF and HP have finally come like a tornado to me and my mind and body, blowing me around in large circles and feeling the brunt of each bang as it passes by. > > There is only one more thing for my zest for life which is falling fast and that is now the decision to want to live. This I knew would become a problem. This is so difficult to write about so I wont, ok! > > I think one of the major points of why I don't want to die right now is knowing where my son is and why he doesn't write or care about his Mom. Inexcusable and so heartbreaking. Maybe if I saw him, then I could GO. And I believe until that happens, I won't GO. > > I must go now, hurt too much to write anymore from my heart. > > I continue to love each and one of you every day and minute and I will continue to pray for each and every one of you each day as they too go by. > > I LOVE YOU THIS DAY > MARY LOU PATTERSON > IPF - HP > 2002- > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 Dearest Lou…. You are a beautiful friend, sharing your innermost struggle with us. You sound as if it’s really hard to find ‘Yourself’ in amongst all the medications. ……listen to your heart m’dear it will guide you.. LOVE & BE LOVED… take all that life can give you until it can no longer…..life unfolds…..every breath you take IS life… every thought you have IS life……. You are Doing Life on a most precious scale these days…every moment COUNTS… REJOICE in those moments! We all love you dearly & hold you close every single moment… in Oz IPF: Fibrotic NSIP/UIP ?? Reynauds' May 2007 From: MLPretired@... Sent: Wednesday, 22 April 2009 4:30 AM To: sletcher@...; mt_dave@...; LateNightBurner@...; drice2@...; dpatterson@...; LWP0609@...; gina.francis@...; ginnymurphy93@...; JDH4SOCCER@...; jmarshall6867@...; Spikeone99@...; KostWay2Much@...; jjarrett@...; norm_clark@...; netwiz3@...; skimberlyelliott@...; Kruzn64ss@...; viirgogurl@...; lara.maulny@...; lauraeanderson@...; Leanne_Storch@...; Fraamici@...; coward34@...; mareide@...; meerp@...; marionhgriffin@...; maymcevoystone@...; MLPretired@...; mpatterson@...; Mert401@...; pat.moschell@...; MomX2@...; pac1773@...; ullomr@...; roncarole2@...; Rustiayn@...; Saxton2@...; slkbenn@...; Sricer@...; Krisnshe@...; bofus@...; jhsn@...; sdswartwout@... Subject: THINGS GOING AWRY I went down to 20 on the oxygen flow and stopped the senna (lax), and a few of the other drugs, have become a little more aware of my surroundings. The xanax and some of the other ones are by request from me only. This past week has been from 'hell' (sorry), this week little better. I feel today more connected with myself and more alive I think. Yesterday the nurse from Hospice said " no more 3 1/2 hr. naps " , only 30 minute naps. Then later if I want another 30 min. nap. Too much in bed and not enough exercise is horrible for me. I am not that kind of person. If I want to continue my life I must change my attitude as now it sucks. I don't want to be here any more has been my latest thoughts and I must shake that away from my brain. Earl has been reworking my masks to make them more comfortable and workable to my comfort level which seems to be working. Not so many drugs makes me more awake and more level headed. Was getting to the point of no return with drugs for IPF and HP. Earl has taken 3 days off to work with me on the mask but if I eat we have to figure out a way to eat and lift the mask up to put a mouthful of food in there same time. This part is difficult so far. Nurse from Hospice said too much sleep will make me weak and it has too. The IPF and HP have finally come like a tornado to me and my mind and body, blowing me around in large circles and feeling the brunt of each bang as it passes by. There is only one more thing for my zest for life which is falling fast and that is now the decision to want to live. This I knew would become a problem. This is so difficult to write about so I wont, ok! I must go now, hurt too much to write anymore from my heart. I continue to love each and one of you every day and minute and I will continue to pray for each and every one of you each day as they too go by. I LOVE YOU THIS DAY !! SHARE GOD'S LOVE TODAY !! MARY LOU, IPF - 02 A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy steps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 Dearest Lou…. You are a beautiful friend, sharing your innermost struggle with us. You sound as if it’s really hard to find ‘Yourself’ in amongst all the medications. ……listen to your heart m’dear it will guide you.. LOVE & BE LOVED… take all that life can give you until it can no longer…..life unfolds…..every breath you take IS life… every thought you have IS life……. You are Doing Life on a most precious scale these days…every moment COUNTS… REJOICE in those moments! We all love you dearly & hold you close every single moment… in Oz IPF: Fibrotic NSIP/UIP ?? Reynauds' May 2007 From: MLPretired@... Sent: Wednesday, 22 April 2009 4:30 AM To: sletcher@...; mt_dave@...; LateNightBurner@...; drice2@...; dpatterson@...; LWP0609@...; gina.francis@...; ginnymurphy93@...; JDH4SOCCER@...; jmarshall6867@...; Spikeone99@...; KostWay2Much@...; jjarrett@...; norm_clark@...; netwiz3@...; skimberlyelliott@...; Kruzn64ss@...; viirgogurl@...; lara.maulny@...; lauraeanderson@...; Leanne_Storch@...; Fraamici@...; coward34@...; mareide@...; meerp@...; marionhgriffin@...; maymcevoystone@...; MLPretired@...; mpatterson@...; Mert401@...; pat.moschell@...; MomX2@...; pac1773@...; ullomr@...; roncarole2@...; Rustiayn@...; Saxton2@...; slkbenn@...; Sricer@...; Krisnshe@...; bofus@...; jhsn@...; sdswartwout@... Subject: THINGS GOING AWRY I went down to 20 on the oxygen flow and stopped the senna (lax), and a few of the other drugs, have become a little more aware of my surroundings. The xanax and some of the other ones are by request from me only. This past week has been from 'hell' (sorry), this week little better. I feel today more connected with myself and more alive I think. Yesterday the nurse from Hospice said " no more 3 1/2 hr. naps " , only 30 minute naps. Then later if I want another 30 min. nap. Too much in bed and not enough exercise is horrible for me. I am not that kind of person. If I want to continue my life I must change my attitude as now it sucks. I don't want to be here any more has been my latest thoughts and I must shake that away from my brain. Earl has been reworking my masks to make them more comfortable and workable to my comfort level which seems to be working. Not so many drugs makes me more awake and more level headed. Was getting to the point of no return with drugs for IPF and HP. Earl has taken 3 days off to work with me on the mask but if I eat we have to figure out a way to eat and lift the mask up to put a mouthful of food in there same time. This part is difficult so far. Nurse from Hospice said too much sleep will make me weak and it has too. The IPF and HP have finally come like a tornado to me and my mind and body, blowing me around in large circles and feeling the brunt of each bang as it passes by. There is only one more thing for my zest for life which is falling fast and that is now the decision to want to live. This I knew would become a problem. This is so difficult to write about so I wont, ok! I must go now, hurt too much to write anymore from my heart. I continue to love each and one of you every day and minute and I will continue to pray for each and every one of you each day as they too go by. I LOVE YOU THIS DAY !! SHARE GOD'S LOVE TODAY !! MARY LOU, IPF - 02 A Good Credit Score is 700 or Above. See yours in just 2 easy steps! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 21, 2009 Report Share Posted April 21, 2009 Lou, You continue to amaze me!!!Keep going for YOU! Your heartache over your son will just sap you of whatever energy you have. We Love You This Day. Z fibriotic NSIP/05 Z 65, fibriotic NSIP/05/PA And “mild” PH/10/07 and Reynaud’s too!! No, NSIP was not self-inflicted…I never smoked! Potter, reader,carousel lover and MomMom to Darah and Sara “I’m gonna be iron like a lion in Zion” Bob Marley Vinca Minor-periwinkle is my flower Lou wrote: I went down to 20 on the oxygen flow and stopped the senna (lax), and a few of the other drugs, have become a little more aware of my surroundings. The xanax and some of the other ones are by request from me only. This past week has been from 'hell' (sorry), this week little better. I feel today more connected with myself and more alive I think. Yesterday the nurse from Hospice said "no more 3 1/2 hr. naps", only 30 minute naps. Then later if I want another 30 min. nap. Too much in bed and not enough exercise is horrible for me. I am not that kind of person. If I want to continue my life I must change my attitude as now it sucks. I don't want to be here any more has been my latest thoughts and I must shake that away from my brain. Earl has been reworking my masks to make them more comfortable and workable to my comfort level which seems to be working. Not so many drugs makes me more awake and more level headed. Was getting to the point of no return with drugs for IPF and HP. Earl has taken 3 days off to work with me on the mask but if I eat we have to figure out a way to eat and lift the mask up to put a mouthful of food in there same time. This part is difficult so far. Nurse from Hospice said too much sleep will make me weak and it has too. The IPF and HP have finally come like a tornado to me and my mind and body, blowing me around in large circles and feeling the brunt of each bang as it passes by. There is only one more thing for my zest for life which is falling fast and that is now the decision to want to live. This I knew would become a problem. This is so difficult to write about so I wont, ok! I think one of the major points of why I don't want to die right now is knowing where my son is and why he doesn't write or care about his Mom. Inexcusable and so heartbreaking. Maybe if I saw him, then I could GO. And I believe until that happens, I won't GO. I must go now, hurt too much to write anymore from my heart. I continue to love each and one of you every day and minute and I will continue to pray for each and every one of you each day as they too go by. I LOVE YOU THIS DAY MARY LOU PATTERSON IPF - HP 2002- Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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