Re: Update and questions regarding my mom/Diane

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 8/9/2005 9:07:05 PM Eastern Standard Time,

boerner@... writes:

I'm so frustrated and tired. We had a meeting with the hospice people

at the hospital last Friday and they said how they will do anything you

ask--I said I was worried about helping my Mom with personal stuff like

bathroom stuff and they said they would help with everything. Now my

Mom comes home on Saturday and was in horrible pain--the stupid

morphine pump wasn't working. It took forever to get a nurse to come

back to the house. My Mom seems to be declining fast since she's been

home--they say there's no need to force food or water and she doesn't

need the i.v. for fluids in her final stage--this is so depressing and

I just feel there should be some help for her--I don't want to give

up! The nurses now say they are going to train us on giving her

suppositories and everything else--I thought they were going to be

doing this? I feel like my head is going to explode--I just can't do

this stuff alone. Am I misinformed about what a hospice really does?

I keep getting told different things and I don't know what to do. My

Mom can hardly get out of the bed and I can't carry her to the bathroom-

-everything is so goofy right now and I wish I had help.

Just needed to vent and any suggestions would be so helpful to me.

Take care.

Diane

Hi Diane...

I'm so sorry you are going through this alone, but glad you can be with your

Mom. I just went through losing my Mommy in May and it's not easy, that's

for sure!! I miss her sooo much. But I know she's in heaven with her new

angel body, which is pain-free and she's with all her loved ones who went

before

her. I'm sure she misses us, but I'm also sure she doesn't want to be back

here on earth. Eternity with her in Heaven will be much longer for all of us.

But, one of the hardest parts for you is right now. Hospice should help

you. We didn't have the " best " experience with them either. We ended up

getting nurses around the clock the last 3 weeks. But Hospice came a couple

times

a week and they were there pronto when she passed. So I have to give them

credit where credit is due. Both my sister and I work and neither could be

there all the time. Mom lived with my sister. Maybe had we been a little more

demanding with them, it would have worked out for us. Every one else I've

talked with about Hospice has had nothing but good things to say...so don't

give

up on them and " let " them help, tell them what you need help with. Ive even

heard of Hospice coming so you could go to the groc. store or church, etc.

So just talk with them!! We'll all be praying for you sweetie...come here to

vent or cry or scream!! Don't keep it all in.

Lots of hugs and prayers, Donelle

Caregiver to Glenn