visiting baby

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> Message: 7

> Date: Fri, 6 Jul 2001 10:03:26 +0100

>

> Subject: Re: Visiting a New Baby

>

> I would only want to have a visit from friends once I was feeling

> recovered from the birth and the b/feeding was under way, and then not

> when b/feeding as wanted to get the positioning right....and only if

> they were willing to muck in making tea etc if no one else was there

> to do it. I do really feel that in the very early days it's a fragile

> situation and the mother and babe's needs to have rest should be

> paramount. I even think that if there are difficult relationships

> with inflaws etc that they should be held off for at least the first

> few days but that's a difficult one - I think the mothers and babies

> needs must come first.

>

> With DS I took him out to lunch in the Maids of Honour tearoom at Kew

> when 10 days old, and afterwards went and fed him in Kew Gardens but

> some Japanese ladies in the Maids of Honour were really shocked that

> he was taken outside the house before 4 weeks, and that I was up and

> out so early.

>

> Likewise my SIL's private midwife asked her to stay upstairs for 10

> days, and restricted visitors to 10 mins each and only if she was up

> to it and not b/feeding - and I think number of visitors was

> restricted. The visitors were directed to doing housework and washing

> folding etc if they wanted to stay longer. It sounds very strict -

> but it was in a spirit of peacefulness and serenity which you could

> really feel in the house - and SIL said that she felt *so* much better

> when she did emerge into the world than with her first when she tried

> to muddle through right from the day after the birth. The stairs

> restriction was I think to aid healing of the perineum and pelvic

> floor.

>

> I know it is very tempting to want to see a very young baby, but each

> visitor is so very tiring even if it is very special. With my first,

> people sent flowers and cards at the time - so I had her few early

> precious days surrounded with festive flowers and peacefulness, it was

> lovely - then felt really happy to receive more people after about a

> week. (grandparents and uncles had visited very early, but briefly).

> I feel to see a very young baby is a great privilege, but it is a

> special and private time. Also a Caesarian is a major operation on

> top of the exhaustion of nights. Perhaps it's because I'm virtually

> geriatric that I feel this, maybe twenty-somethings bounce back faster

> after birth and sleepless nights!!! But it was something that was

> covered in our ante-natal classes - that visitors needed to be kept in

> their (honoured) places!! ;-)

> Do other people feel very different?

>

> Caro

> Cranleigh

I feel different, because with my third I had a home birth, and in those first

few euphoric days none of my friends on my street popped in. I had had a fast,

straightforward birth and wanted to show him off to my friends. I actually felt

a bit hurt because they all kept away. Eventually on day four I walked my son

to school so that I could see some people! Everyone is different obviously, but

I felt ready for short visits quite early.

Lucy

SAHM to 6, 4 4months

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