DH's

[Guest guest]

> My DH 'works' from home - although I see very little evidence of work

> happening - about 90% of the time and it drives me nuts!! Lots of my

friends

> are jealous - then their DH takes a week off work and they are desperate

for

> them to go back!!! I can't get into any sort of routine with him

pestering

> me the whole time and he is useless when it comes to looking after the

> children as he gets mysteriously busy whenever I ask him!

>

>

-----------------------

My DH is very good so I'm not really moaning but the little things that

annoy me is when, for example, he's just zapping the TV and I ask him to

change DD's nappy..... 'in a minute' he says; an hour later and he still

hasn't done it, he's still zapping and had a snooze in between. Then he

gets upset that I get upset!

But I believe he's absolutely great. I get a lie-in every morning as DD and

DH get up together, he gets her changed and dressed, gives her breakfast,

makes me tea(;-) and then leaves for work. It's bliss!

It's teamwork, isn't it? And each of us have our strong points and

weaknesses - the challenge is to even it all out so everything runs like

clockwork but it never seems to get like that! At least, we're definitely

not there yet!!

Janet

[Guest guest]

> It's teamwork, isn't it? And each of us have our strong points

and

> weaknesses - the challenge is to even it all out so everything

runs like

> clockwork but it never seems to get like that! At least, we're

definitely

> not there yet!!

It never gets like that - even when they are a bit older. I have

realised that I am never going to be a perfect housewife or

parent - but I am good enough - and DH and DS's get fed and

clean clothes on their backs - and lots of cuddles too! We get by.

DH isn't a 'new man' although he is around at home all the time

so it means i can collect from school without having to drag DS2

along with me - which might not seem much but the little things

count.

Caroline

[Guest guest]

> It's teamwork, isn't it? And each of us have our strong points

and

> weaknesses - the challenge is to even it all out so everything

runs like

> clockwork but it never seems to get like that! At least, we're

definitely

> not there yet!!

It never gets like that - even when they are a bit older. I have

realised that I am never going to be a perfect housewife or

parent - but I am good enough - and DH and DS's get fed and

clean clothes on their backs - and lots of cuddles too! We get by.

DH isn't a 'new man' although he is around at home all the time

so it means i can collect from school without having to drag DS2

along with me - which might not seem much but the little things

count.

Caroline

[Guest guest]

> It's teamwork, isn't it? And each of us have our strong points and

> weaknesses - the challenge is to even it all out so everything runs like

> clockwork but it never seems to get like that! At least, we're definitely

> not there yet!!

>

> Janet

Absolutely - dh has never changed ds2's nappy, and doesn't really like

having to hold him for too long, but he does all the kitchen tidying and

diswasher loading, plus cooks our dinner (we are both dieting) and warms up

one of the meals I have made and stockpiled in the freezer for the children.

I do all the laundry and occasional house cleaning - works quite well in

general, we have our little routines etc.....

Hannah, 27

Mum to Bethany 7, Lawrence 5 1/2, Verity 3, Alfie 4 months

Visit me on the web at :-

http://hannahshome.20m.com

[Guest guest]

DH doesn't do any housework, but he will help me clear up after a

meal. He changed my first baby's nappy but after that never did any

of the others except in emergencies. But he's 100% the breadwinner

type, how old fashioned that sounds, but it's true. I think on

balance he works harder than I do these days so I can't complain about

sharing chores.

My only complaint(well...not *the* only!! LOL!) about him is he

hasn't got a romantic bone in his body, will never think about

bringing home a surprise gift or flowers unless it's drummed into him.

I can't complain I do without, though; he is very generous and gives

me whatever I want, but I have to more or less go out and get it

myself and he'll pay. I refuse to buy my own flowers (it's customary

to have flowers in the house on Sabbath) so we either have flowers

from him, a guest, or no flowers for Sabbath.

Having said that, I hate surprises, and he has rotten taste in gifts

anyway so I'd much rather he just paid for something I really wanted,

than brought me home something I hated! When we were in NY recently

we were in Manhatten in the diamond center area, and he bought me a

lovely necklace which everyone has admired, but we had to be together,

so I could choose it for myself!

When I was approaching my 50th birthday, I *knew* he and the kids

were planning a surprise dinner or something, and I just badgered him

until he told me what it was, so long as I still acted amazed. As I

put it " what if they arrange something on a night I had something else

planned? " They made me a " surprise " dinner in a local restaurant

which was lovely, even though a bit fraught because my FIL was in one

hospital dying of cancer, and my own mother was in a different

hospital having had another stroke and DH was on one foot the whole

time wanting to rush off and see his Dad. (he died only a couple of

days after my birthday.)

He is also *very* bad at passing on messages. Mind you I also am bad

at it. He will forget to tell me a good friend's daughter/son has got

engaged/had a baby/ or that someone has died, so I don't go to the

funeral or " shiva " (7 day mourning).

Regarding talking on IRC... I must confess when I first got into the

net in a big way I was very attracted to the idea of chatting to men

on IRC; and they seemed so much more dashing at first glance than my

poor old unromantic DH! But as Newman once said : " why go out for

hamburger when you have steak at home? " and never was a truer word

said. I hardly go onto IRC these days, I find most people on there so

stupid and boring, and anyone who hangs out on IRC for a long time

each day has, by definition, no life.

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

DH doesn't do any housework, but he will help me clear up after a

meal. He changed my first baby's nappy but after that never did any

of the others except in emergencies. But he's 100% the breadwinner

type, how old fashioned that sounds, but it's true. I think on

balance he works harder than I do these days so I can't complain about

sharing chores.

My only complaint(well...not *the* only!! LOL!) about him is he

hasn't got a romantic bone in his body, will never think about

bringing home a surprise gift or flowers unless it's drummed into him.

I can't complain I do without, though; he is very generous and gives

me whatever I want, but I have to more or less go out and get it

myself and he'll pay. I refuse to buy my own flowers (it's customary

to have flowers in the house on Sabbath) so we either have flowers

from him, a guest, or no flowers for Sabbath.

Having said that, I hate surprises, and he has rotten taste in gifts

anyway so I'd much rather he just paid for something I really wanted,

than brought me home something I hated! When we were in NY recently

we were in Manhatten in the diamond center area, and he bought me a

lovely necklace which everyone has admired, but we had to be together,

so I could choose it for myself!

When I was approaching my 50th birthday, I *knew* he and the kids

were planning a surprise dinner or something, and I just badgered him

until he told me what it was, so long as I still acted amazed. As I

put it " what if they arrange something on a night I had something else

planned? " They made me a " surprise " dinner in a local restaurant

which was lovely, even though a bit fraught because my FIL was in one

hospital dying of cancer, and my own mother was in a different

hospital having had another stroke and DH was on one foot the whole

time wanting to rush off and see his Dad. (he died only a couple of

days after my birthday.)

He is also *very* bad at passing on messages. Mind you I also am bad

at it. He will forget to tell me a good friend's daughter/son has got

engaged/had a baby/ or that someone has died, so I don't go to the

funeral or " shiva " (7 day mourning).

Regarding talking on IRC... I must confess when I first got into the

net in a big way I was very attracted to the idea of chatting to men

on IRC; and they seemed so much more dashing at first glance than my

poor old unromantic DH! But as Newman once said : " why go out for

hamburger when you have steak at home? " and never was a truer word

said. I hardly go onto IRC these days, I find most people on there so

stupid and boring, and anyone who hangs out on IRC for a long time

each day has, by definition, no life.

Ruthie

[Guest guest]

>>Personally, I would

>> give my eye teeth not to have to take the younger ones along for the

>ride ;o)<<

>Me too, me too! I hated the fact that nos 3 and 4 spent most of their

>babyhood in the car seat.

me me too too !!!!! - poor DS's

Curran

Mum to Tim 4 boys. Co-Chair, MVA, Valley cushion agent, homebirth

support and booking clerk Selby Rural NCT

Region 7 Secretary

[Guest guest]

>>Personally, I would

>> give my eye teeth not to have to take the younger ones along for the

>ride ;o)<<

>Me too, me too! I hated the fact that nos 3 and 4 spent most of their

>babyhood in the car seat.

me me too too !!!!! - poor DS's

Curran

Mum to Tim 4 boys. Co-Chair, MVA, Valley cushion agent, homebirth

support and booking clerk Selby Rural NCT

Region 7 Secretary

[Guest guest]

Lonnie Fletcher wrote:

> AND (the big one) he NEVER complains no matter how big a shopping bill I

counter up (and I am a bit of a shopholic)...

I think we may be married to the same person! Although he does sometimes throw

a bit of a wobbly about me buying shoes....

http://www.foxstitch.co.uk/

[Guest guest]

Long ago thread I know but..... (see previous mailing)

Feeling slightly guilty about saying DH doesn't really understand so

thought I'd share how we met and his romantic side..

Met in mid 96 at work - he worked for a Co that bought the Co I worked

for(IYKWIM). Admiring glances from me, nothing from him I was in

the process of splitting up from my then husband ( that is definitely

another story and to be told only with alcohol!). DH was also married

at the time which I only realised when I saw his wedding ring. Lots

of smiles and hellos from me, nothing back - only afterwards did I

realise he was very shy

On 25th Sept we all went away on a team building exercise which

involved copious amounts of alcohol (what else when you work in the

City?) and we actually finally got talking and realised we got on like

a house on fire. Spent many lunchtimes and brief evenings over next

few weeks getting to know each other better - just as friends, and

being supportive as we were both in doomed relationships. In mid Nov

he said that I should just walk out on my abusive (now ex)H, and I

said he was a fine one to talk being so unhappy in his relationship!

On 1st Dec I left forever (with just the bag I had with me), on 5th we

held hands in a bar in the City , on 9th we both confessed to having

strong feelings for each other, on 12th it was our Co Xmas party,

spent all night gazing at DH across room (he was v senior management

and it just wasn't the done thing!) and eventually had our first kiss.

Spent next few days wondering what we should do. Then Xmas and New

Year which he was spending with his DW's family! Then on 11th Jan he

left for a long trip (with her) to NZ and Oz. I was heart broken but

realised that he should only leave for himself and the right reasons,

not for me and what could just be a fling. He called several times

from his trip (don't ask how he managed that!) and returned on Sun 2nd

Feb. We met for lunch on the Mon, on the Tues he left his wife and on

morning of 5th Feb turned up at my flat needing somewhere to stay.

And I am so glad that he has never left! We both just knew (maybe

because of previous mistakes) that this was the right thing.

By the end of the year I was pregnant with DD1 and we married a year

later on 12th Dec 98 (2 years from our 1st kiss - it would have been

quicker but divorces prevented this!)

We celebrate our own Valentines on 25th Sept (normally with too much

to drink!)

I know that there has been talks of affairs/unfaithfulness on here and

I find myself in the position of having been that 'other' woman. All

I would say is that truly happy people do not stray as they have no

need to. There is no harm is talking, flirting, whatever, just

realise and be truthful to yourself that if you were that happy you

wouldn't doit (but there is absolutely no harm in window shopping if

it makes you feel better!!!)

In his own little ways DH is very romantic, calls me often to say ILY

but as with all men sometimes needs a little prompting. Despite

working in London and having a long commute he does try to help with

DD's when he gets home, bathtime if home early enough, and stories.

He washes up (well loads the dishwasher) after I cook (something he

def does not do!). He treats me well and neither the children or I go

with out. He has made it possible for me to be at home with my DD's,

which is something we both wanted. All in all, I wouldn't swap him f

and love him to the end of the world and back.

Beverly - feeling rather soppy now but with a little smile on my face!

SAHM Grace and EMilie, and