Guest guest Posted August 7, 2001 Report Share Posted August 7, 2001 > > THANKYOU, THANKYOU, THANKYOU, that is the point I was trying to make, that > she has always been obsessed about her health , even stating to me when > pregnant that she is already prepared for 'postnatal depression'. I think i know a bit of what you are going through as my ex-sister-in-law is like her. I can see my 10 year old niece becoming an anorexic soon as she obsesses with her about diets etc. The way she treats her children is totally awful - it has reduced our family to tears on occasions - far too much to go into here. Thank goodness my brother has a live-in girlfriend (found after exSIL dumped my brother for her boss who soon dumped her!) who is a fantastic influence on them and gives some stability to their lives - like I'm sure you are doing. Caroline Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 7, 2001 Report Share Posted August 7, 2001 >>> >>>I think i know a bit of what you are going through as my ex-sister-in-law is >>>like her. I can see my 10 year old niece becoming an anorexic soon as she >>>obsesses with her about diets etc. The way she treats her children is >>>totally awful - it has reduced our family to tears on occasions - far too >>>much to go into here. Thank goodness my brother has a live-in girlfriend >>>(found after exSIL dumped my brother for her boss who soon dumped her!) who >>>is a fantastic influence on them and gives some stability to their lives - >>>like I'm sure you are doing. >>>Caroline Snap, just that it's my sister (who I loved to pieces for the first 30 years of my life) who has cut off all contact with us and who is a rather scary example for her two children. Basically she is a drama queen, everything resolves around her, and her only way of treating difficulties is by apportioning blame to someone else - so she falls out with one person after another. (Hence no longer speaking to her family either). After a year with no contact however she does allow her kids to see 'us' (myself, my other sister, and our parents) and although they are lovely kids they are starting to get the same attitude to life - ie not taking reponsibility for yourself and your own actions, but always blaming someone else, always treat everything as black and white etc. It's heartbreaking - but as Caroline says - you can't take away their mother; and I guess to some extent the love they get from her (albeit perhaps dysfunctional) is so important in their life that they are better off with her than someone else. All we can do I think is to show the kids that there are other ways of doing things - allow a bit of perspective into their lives, and make different rules for when they visit us. It's a careful balance, making sure never to put their mother down, but merely give them a different type of love in addition to their mothers'. Hopefully in that way they can make their own choices later on. It's one of my biggest sorrows living over here, that I can't do more for those two kids - they are both my Godchildren and I love them nearly as if they were my own. Karina Mum to Emilia (Oct 98) and Sebastian (Aug 00) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 7, 2001 Report Share Posted August 7, 2001 >>> >>>I think i know a bit of what you are going through as my ex-sister-in-law is >>>like her. I can see my 10 year old niece becoming an anorexic soon as she >>>obsesses with her about diets etc. The way she treats her children is >>>totally awful - it has reduced our family to tears on occasions - far too >>>much to go into here. Thank goodness my brother has a live-in girlfriend >>>(found after exSIL dumped my brother for her boss who soon dumped her!) who >>>is a fantastic influence on them and gives some stability to their lives - >>>like I'm sure you are doing. >>>Caroline Snap, just that it's my sister (who I loved to pieces for the first 30 years of my life) who has cut off all contact with us and who is a rather scary example for her two children. Basically she is a drama queen, everything resolves around her, and her only way of treating difficulties is by apportioning blame to someone else - so she falls out with one person after another. (Hence no longer speaking to her family either). After a year with no contact however she does allow her kids to see 'us' (myself, my other sister, and our parents) and although they are lovely kids they are starting to get the same attitude to life - ie not taking reponsibility for yourself and your own actions, but always blaming someone else, always treat everything as black and white etc. It's heartbreaking - but as Caroline says - you can't take away their mother; and I guess to some extent the love they get from her (albeit perhaps dysfunctional) is so important in their life that they are better off with her than someone else. All we can do I think is to show the kids that there are other ways of doing things - allow a bit of perspective into their lives, and make different rules for when they visit us. It's a careful balance, making sure never to put their mother down, but merely give them a different type of love in addition to their mothers'. Hopefully in that way they can make their own choices later on. It's one of my biggest sorrows living over here, that I can't do more for those two kids - they are both my Godchildren and I love them nearly as if they were my own. Karina Mum to Emilia (Oct 98) and Sebastian (Aug 00) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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