SAHMs, career women, part timers and life in general

[Guest guest]

Thanks to everyone who helped me out with describing life as a SAHM -

everyone seems to have a different experience; but noone seems to

regret their choice - which probably says it all.

I hope I didn't offend anyone with my original mail - I certainly

didn't mean to be negative about the choice to stay at home - I was

just being completely honest about all my fears. You've helped me

realise that I can do it too - that it's a real choice - and that will

help when I finally make my decision.

I still have some worries of course - with another job you can try it

out for a bit, and if you don't like it you can change it. If I decide

to stay at home I can't just try it out - I have to be pretty sure (it

will be hard to get back into the market place (workwise) but more

importantly I don't want to mess the kids around - it would be stupied

to get rid of the nanny they love just to have to get another one

later).

Also, with the recession coming and a husband who works in the City

(pretty ruthless - we've both been sacked a few times on a

whim/reorganisation/bad quarterly figures) I have to be pretty sure

that he will keep his job this time around before I give up my job.

And there is that little worry about the relationship with DH

changing - we met on an MBA course and we have both worked since

then - so a part of our relationship is based on understanding what

the other person does at work, discussing work issues, and giving each

other support; so it'll be hard to lose that. (Though of course we

have other issues in common too... 10 years of history, bad builders,

potty training, and sleepless nights come to mind...).

Really though I'm just so happy pottering around the house and sorting

things out, making pancakes for breakfast, playing with the kids -

that I don't think I'd miss my job at all. I've had quite a few breaks

without jobs in my life (when I've been moving country/ applying for

jobs/ living in Guernsey) before the kids arrived, and although I

should have been worried and unemployed I secretly enjoyed it - spent

lots of time reading books, and growing tomatoes, and sewing bed

spreads - it felt just as " real " as going to work.

What I would miss would be a little teeny weeny bit of time to

myself - to write, or do NCT stuff, start a small business - but I

guess that would come in time once they start going to playgroup some

hours a week (DD will start two afternoons in September).

Oh well.

I've given myself until Christmas to decide.

Stay tuned...

Karina

Mum to Emilia (Oct 98) and Sebastian (Aug 00)

(PS DH was at home all day yesterday with a cold and when I got home

he put his arms around me and said - if you want to take some years

off work to look after the children - then that's what you should do -

perhaps we could get an au pair so you got a few hours to yourself to

write a book - I will support you whatever you decide. What a star.

Wonder who's been sneak-reading my messages whilst I was at work...

thanks everyone!)