thoughts after yesterday

[Guest guest]

Yesterday was very bad for me. Culminating in Lucy Rimers post, which

made me realise that I had been too open, too comfortable about

discussing things which maybe should not have been discussed. My

father who was a Holocaust refugee (you can read his story on

http://www.ruthiepearlman.com/oscar.html) always told me that we Jews

shouldn't be too comfortable anywhere; always be ready to leave at a

momen't notice. He should know. That principle saved his life,

literally by inches.

The supportive posts I got from some of you were wonderful and made me

feel warm inside; thank you. But I feel sure that there were

probably some others who had a hidden sympathy for what Lucy said, and

wished I would shut up about my religion. I learned to do that the

hard way on IRC, where the other people were totally intolerant to any

discussion of " organised religion " which they thought was all stupid.

I avoid the topic like the plague on there now.

Here I felt amongst friends. My local NCT branch where I teach and do

BFC, has been supportive and accepting of me, and the other orthodox

teacher in their midst, and have never made us feel uncomfortable when

our faith interfered with our NCT work. I felt the same here, but

obviously I went too far and felt *too* at home and I got a bad shock

yesterday, which taught me a salutary lesson.

Far from feeling superior to any of you, I just feel " different " ,

which is hard. Like the little girl who, for whatever reason, cannot

join in the games of her playmates, it is I who is the outsider, not

all of you. I suppose what I was (obviously erroneously) trying to

do, was to try to make you understand *why* I am standing on the edge

of the playground and cannot join in.

I am sorry if I have not empathised with those of you with difficult

toddlers, and have come back with my own stories of my difficult older

children. I guess we are all just involved in whatever stage of

parenthood we are involved in. I knew there would be enough other

parents of toddlers to support the one going through a hard time, and

when I could say something useful, I tried to. I found it a useful

letting-off-steam to talk about my teenager and his exams, and in fact

you were all very helpful.

I think what I am trying to say is, that unkind and unpleasant tho

Lucy's post was, there was a core of truth in it, and I would be very

unwise not to take heed of it. I totally refute that I am racist

against Asian shopkeepers though, I don't know where she got that

from. In fact I come down *most* strongly if my kids ever make any

kind of racist joke against *any* other minority; they are one

generation further removed from the one where racism destroyed

two-thirds of our people, and almost all of my father's family, so

they don't feel it as much any more.

I apologise most humbly to this group if I have come across as

superior, or have rammed my faith down anyone's throat. I enjoy this

group as a friendly chatty place to talk about the events of our

lives, but I guess some things are better not talked about too much.

HUGS to all

Ruthie