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Hi,

I have recently been diagnosed with IPF, like within the last five weeks. I

immediately went to the internet to find out all that I could and got way more

than I bargained for. I managed to freak myself out, get angry with everyone

and have cried myself to sleep a few times. I feel so helpless. I have always

been blessed with pretty good health. No major illnesses and always strong

enough to get through just about anything. I am 55 years old and have learned

that there is very little I can do about changing other people, places and

situations but have always been able to control what is going on with myself. I

feel like my body has just turned into my head and heart's enemy. I am married,

and have a wonderfully big family with 5 kids and 7 grandkids. You know I have

been blessed. I really have no excuse for feeling as negative as I do... it

really is not like me and I'm not loving this side of me. Acceptance is

difficult. I have only been feeling poorly for about six months. I started

noticing that I would become a little winded when I would climb the stairs at

work (something I do at least 5-6 times each day). My boss was concerned that

it may be something with my heart (she just experienced congestive heart failure

4 months ago) and she keep pushing me toward the doctor until I decided to have

it checked out. Good news! My heart is in great shape! After the nuclear

stress test and before the heart catherization, I got a terrible migraine

headache and had to go to the emergency room. They did fix the headache but

after they put that little finger oximeter on me they didn't concentrate on

anything but my O2 levels. I spent a week in the hospital being stuck and

re-stuck. I had CT, MRI's a bronchoscopy and the heart cath, as well as what

ever else they did. They made the diagnosis and sent me home on O2, which I'm

on pretty much 24/7. As long as I'm sitting quietly, not doing anything more

than breathing my O2 levels are ok, but if I stand the levels drop right away.

I am starting a pulmonary rehab this week, hopefully the exercise will help me

cope a little better. I have returned to work, I have a desk job, and I carry

my O2 with me. I'm hoping that I can count on you all to remind me that it's

not over until it's over and help me feel like I do have some say in how things

go.

Thanks for letting me go on...

Darlene

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