Re: Codicil on: My Teenager this Sabbath :) Sorry, a bit long!

[Guest guest]

Two explanations: DH sleeping at table, and my MIL.

1. You might be wondering why DH keeps sleeping at the Sabbath table.

(on the other hand maybe you aren't bothered! )

Well, it is kind of tolerated cuz Sabbath *is* a complete and utter

break from the work of the week. A lot of men in particular who work

very hard during the week just totally unwind when Sabbath begins, and

can't stay awake at the Friday night meal. There is no TV, radio,

computer, or any distractions, nor is there meant to be any discussion

of work, business, weekday or money related matters. Everything is

given over to the spirit of Sabbath, so it is kind of conducive to a

feeling of deep relaxation. It really is a wonderful total *switch

off*, if only it wasn't so difficult to cope with a teenager on that

day! During the week we *never* sit down to a meal with him; he's

always off with his mates having pizza or something.

2. My MIL is in her mid eighties, widowed, extremely deaf and

extremely dependent (not physically, she is quite sprightly, but

emotionally.) She lives alone in a flat just up the road to us. Every

Sabbath she moves in with my SIL, her daughter Judy, who lives very

close by, but we invite her for Sabbath lunch as a regular thing. As

she gets older she is getting more and more " high maintenance " . Just

this afternoon on my regular visit to Tammy's, Tammy for the first

time ever, expressed her frustration at her grandmother. Tammy has

been a stalwart and loyal supporter and general good sort at keeping

her Grandma amused, but recently she has been finding it all a bit

much. Tammy's youngest, 18 month old Shira, is attached to Tammy by

Velcro, so if Grandma wants Tammy to come and visit, Shira is part of

the package. But Grandma doesn't want Shira touching anything in her

flat, and this all gets a bit fraught, so Tammy is getting

increasingly fedup with her grandma's unreasonableness. She's an old

and increasingly demanding lady, and it's getting to be a worry, her

living in that flat all on her own. She's very lonely, but won't even

go for a walk round the block by herself. If the hearing aid man

comes round to check her instruments, she insists that Judy her

daughter, is there too. She can't seem to cope with anything on her

own, even though physically she is quite healthy and sprightly.

Tammy's been great and still tries her best to look after her Grandma

when she can. I am ashamed to say most of my kids, even Sara, my

eldest, tend not to pop in to my MIL that often, as once they do, they

find it difficult to get away, and they have to shout at her to make

themselves heard. She's very needy and very lonely (

Ruthie.