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moving on after chemo

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My husband was diagnosed last october with stage III colon cancer. He

had surgery and completed 12 rounds of chemo in June. We were in shock

at first (we had just adopted a little girl from China six months prior

to the diagnosis) and then during chemo, I guess we moved " through

it " ...helping him survive all of the side effects. Now, we both seem

to be struggling with the " after effects " of cancer. We are both kindof

shocked at this-we thought the transition would be easier. It seems

like the " what if " or " what could be " are the most overwhelming

emotions for us. We can say all of the right things..... " live for

today, believe in hope, etc., etc., etc., " but sometimes the fear can

be so consuming.Every time I turn around, it seems like someone else

has had a reoccurance and these visits to the oncologist every two

months are brutal. I keep saying that we need to cherish every single

moment of our time with our precious little girl, but at the same time,

I feel as if we are surrounded by this big dark cloud. I wake up in

the middle of the night thinking that I could be a single parent at 38

years old. Somehow.... we need to pass through this fear... we are

just not sure how.

Any wise suggestions?

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