Re: yogi

[Guest guest]

I think relationship-wise (at least in person) I seem to be on hiatus, maybe just recovering from the Rob years and readying myself for a real man. I feel in my bones that there *will* be a "love of my life", but it might take awhile for him to find me out here in the sticks. However, if it is *meant* to be, it WILL be. Yogi was a nice dream but I think part of me (a bigger part then I might have admitted, even to myself) *knew* he was only a pipe dream. There is no way he could leave his life and come here for any amount of time, and I sure as heck cannot go there, at least until Robbin is 18, and even if I could, I couldn't live the life he does, traveling in trains all over the country and sleeping on mats in ashrams...my body just will no longer allow that, nor can I use the famous Indian "squat" toilets, as I cannot squat. So what would that leave me? Staying at his place all of the time while he cavorts all over the country alone? What kind of relationship is that? None. That is why I decided to "break it off" with him, to free my mind and emotions to be open for whoever might *really* be out there for me. My problem is, just as Rob had NO qualms about cheating, I am not a cheat, and if I am in any kind of relationship, even just an emotional one, I will not even consider anyone else, because that would feel like cheating, even though it isn't. It isn't a conscious thing, it is just the way I am. Silly I know, but there it is. So I freed myself from a relationship that I knew in my heart and my mind would never really go anywhere. I wish him all the best and he will always have a little piece of my heart but he has a whole different life and the two worlds just are not meant to combine in any significant way.

And you are always welcome here if you even decide to travel South!



~*~Peace out~*~

~*~Akiba~*~

Pragmatic Visionary

-- yogi

I broke it off with him tonight. He is so busy with his teachings, his students and the constant travel, like I told him, there is just no room for me much less for Robbin, and if he ever *does* manage to visit the US please come visit us, but in the meantime he just doesn't have time for us and I am not getting any younger. It was a nice dream but I think that is all it was, a dream. Time to wake up, once again alone.



~*~Peace out~*~

~*~Akiba~*~

Pragmatic Visionary