Re: Worst Ex-Husband Award Is Now Accepting Candidates

[Guest guest]

I'd love to leave her alone with my three boys for a few days. She'd

probably commit herself. lol

Libby

>

> Irony: the Flylady list is going on and on right now about the

rejuvenating

> powers of a clean home and a date night, and how they will solve

your

> marriage woes.

>

> Jeex, if only someone had told you that sooner, hmmm?

>

> She's a good housecleaner, but the bitch is delusional.

>

> Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Irony: the Flylady list is going on and on right now about the rejuvenating

powers of a clean home and a date night, and how they will solve your

marriage woes.

Jeex, if only someone had told you that sooner, hmmm?

She's a good housecleaner, but the bitch is delusional.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

Irony: the Flylady list is going on and on right now about the rejuvenating

powers of a clean home and a date night, and how they will solve your

marriage woes.

Jeex, if only someone had told you that sooner, hmmm?

She's a good housecleaner, but the bitch is delusional.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

YAY YOU! Now if our experience could just prevent some other poor

soul from the same thing....sigh

>

> " I learned a bad relationship is NEVER EVER EVER better than being

> > alone. I learned to like myself quite a bit, and actually became

> > accustomed to being single. "

>

> , THIS was the defining revelation for me. I learned that

> being alone was much better than being with him and putting up with

> his infidelities and emotional abuse. I could do it on my own and

be

> just fine. Took me 12 years to figure it out, but I finally did.

> Thank God! Some of us just are slow learners, I guess. I just had

no

> faith in myself and my abilities. Leggs

[Guest guest]

YAY YOU! Now if our experience could just prevent some other poor

soul from the same thing....sigh

>

> " I learned a bad relationship is NEVER EVER EVER better than being

> > alone. I learned to like myself quite a bit, and actually became

> > accustomed to being single. "

>

> , THIS was the defining revelation for me. I learned that

> being alone was much better than being with him and putting up with

> his infidelities and emotional abuse. I could do it on my own and

be

> just fine. Took me 12 years to figure it out, but I finally did.

> Thank God! Some of us just are slow learners, I guess. I just had

no

> faith in myself and my abilities. Leggs

[Guest guest]

> Wow Tina, he sounds like a real jerk!! Now that they are divorced,

does he see the children or pay support?

>

The kids are 18, 16, and 15. They won't go over to his house unless

they have to. Which is usually about every six months when he guilts

them into it. He changes jobs about every 2 months so that Children's

Services can't find him to collect support.

Oh, did I mention that he let his first wife's second husband adopt

his first two kids so he wouldn't have to pay child support?

> >>Heexpected me to bail him out because he'd " found God. " yeah

right.<< Didn't know God was lost LOL. I hate when people think that

excuses everything!!

>

Well the real problem for me was that he kept saying God told him

that he and my sister belonged together and that I had to help talk

her into staying with him because God said they had to stay married.

I asked him if God told him to try to choke her to death too. He said

that was before he found God. (I didn't know he was lost either. LOL)

So I asked what if she doesn't want to reconcile. He just kept saying

she had to because God said so. Um, yeah. He's mentally

stable...right...

Tina

[Guest guest]

and having that pit

> in my stomach, when i heard his truck pull up, wondering

> what kind of mood he was gonna be in.

OH the pit in the stomach..I remember that well! At 3 PM (when he

did work) I just remember looking up at the clock and the smile just

vanishing from my face. I even have a picture of me that he took

when we were fighting (he thought it was cute) that epitomized the

feeling

> write...But i finally left and am soooo glad i did..I live

> upstairs in an apartment now, and sometimes at night, i'll

> hear a truck pull up and then someone comes up the stairs (to

> go to their own apartment) and i STILL get that pit in my

> stomach that its him,

after 10 years, I still worry that he might come back sometimes. He

had told me once, " I'll get you when you never expect it " But it's a

lot

I still have alot of self-esteem issues myself,

> cause he really play with my head with those. So, im still looking

> to find out who " I " am. Its gonna take

> a long time to find " trust " in anyone again...with all this

> baggage i have...

I so hope you get some kind of counseling. And as long as you keep

working on yourself, you're gonna get there someday just like me and

others have. I have a marriage I only thought was possible for other

people now. I say I have the perfect marriage...but my definition of

perfect means NORMAL marital issues...we very rarely argue.

There are just too many women who jump from one bad relationship

another without ever working on themselves to find out why they keep

chosing these men then working to correct it.

A lot of times you'll hear me say why WE allowed this....It's not

that I'm saying the abuse was ever our faults...NO! But we have a

choice to stay, and we have a choice to choose better partners. It's

just getting to the mindset that it IS our choice...so hard, yet so

simple.

, you should be proud of yourself. You're doing great, and

you've made it through. This phase is the best part...finding

yourself. You can do it! I have faith!

[Guest guest]

and having that pit

> in my stomach, when i heard his truck pull up, wondering

> what kind of mood he was gonna be in.

OH the pit in the stomach..I remember that well! At 3 PM (when he

did work) I just remember looking up at the clock and the smile just

vanishing from my face. I even have a picture of me that he took

when we were fighting (he thought it was cute) that epitomized the

feeling

> write...But i finally left and am soooo glad i did..I live

> upstairs in an apartment now, and sometimes at night, i'll

> hear a truck pull up and then someone comes up the stairs (to

> go to their own apartment) and i STILL get that pit in my

> stomach that its him,

after 10 years, I still worry that he might come back sometimes. He

had told me once, " I'll get you when you never expect it " But it's a

lot

I still have alot of self-esteem issues myself,

> cause he really play with my head with those. So, im still looking

> to find out who " I " am. Its gonna take

> a long time to find " trust " in anyone again...with all this

> baggage i have...

I so hope you get some kind of counseling. And as long as you keep

working on yourself, you're gonna get there someday just like me and

others have. I have a marriage I only thought was possible for other

people now. I say I have the perfect marriage...but my definition of

perfect means NORMAL marital issues...we very rarely argue.

There are just too many women who jump from one bad relationship

another without ever working on themselves to find out why they keep

chosing these men then working to correct it.

A lot of times you'll hear me say why WE allowed this....It's not

that I'm saying the abuse was ever our faults...NO! But we have a

choice to stay, and we have a choice to choose better partners. It's

just getting to the mindset that it IS our choice...so hard, yet so

simple.

, you should be proud of yourself. You're doing great, and

you've made it through. This phase is the best part...finding

yourself. You can do it! I have faith!

[Guest guest]

> I still have alot of self-esteem issues myself,

> cause he really play with my head with those. So, im still looking

> to find out who " I " am...but too busy with the kids for that

> right now...but im sure one day, it will come. Its gonna take

> a long time to find " trust " in anyone again...with all this

> baggage i have...

>

This always made me so mad when I watched my sister put up with the

shit she dealt with. Her ex used her lack of self-esteem to control

her. All abusers do. They make you doubt yourself and your worth.

Because if you're not worth anything then you'll be greatful to have

them in your life. You " Owe " your existence and self-value to them.

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!

We were out shopping one day and on our way out of the store my

sister saw a little nightie that she liked and she pointed it out to

me. Her ex said, " That'd look like shit on you but your sister would

fill it out nice. "

Yep. Ripped his head off right there. Which of course he took out on

my sister after I left. Asshole. He always hated me because I

wouldn't put up with his shit. Shortly after he gave his first 2 kids

up for adoption he was bragging about how many kids he had. As if

that somehow made him a " real " man. I told him that slugs have sex

and reproduce.

, you are worth way more than he ever gave you credit for. So

are the other ladies on this list who've been through this crap. All

of you deserve so much better than this and I'm glad some of you have

found it.

(((((Hugs to everyone))))))

Tina

[Guest guest]

, you should be proud of yourself. You're doing great, and

> you've made it through. This phase is the best part...finding

> yourself. You can do it! I have faith!

>

>

Thank you so much, ...

yea, i think (hope,pray) that the worst of

it is behind me....tho, lately, so much shit

has gone wrong, i keep wondering, WHEN is it gonna

get better...During this past christmas, he emailed

me this letter, and told me he still loved me and

bla bla bla....and it really affected me...it gave

my heart alittle leap, a good leap...and then the

next day, he was a totally shit again(i think he

was drunk when he wrote it, cause it came around 1AM,

so im pretty sure of that)..SO, after that,

which im kind of glad happen, I know now, that he is

never gonna change, and that we will not ever be back

together. I was very upset with myself, for even thinking

that way about him. (he can be too damm charming at times)

I really thought long and hard about it, and really decided

my life is so much better now, than it was. I can't EVER

go back to that...

rambling again....

im really glad for you too, , that you found your

self a " good man " !!!!

nancy

[Guest guest]

, you should be proud of yourself. You're doing great, and

> you've made it through. This phase is the best part...finding

> yourself. You can do it! I have faith!

>

>

Thank you so much, ...

yea, i think (hope,pray) that the worst of

it is behind me....tho, lately, so much shit

has gone wrong, i keep wondering, WHEN is it gonna

get better...During this past christmas, he emailed

me this letter, and told me he still loved me and

bla bla bla....and it really affected me...it gave

my heart alittle leap, a good leap...and then the

next day, he was a totally shit again(i think he

was drunk when he wrote it, cause it came around 1AM,

so im pretty sure of that)..SO, after that,

which im kind of glad happen, I know now, that he is

never gonna change, and that we will not ever be back

together. I was very upset with myself, for even thinking

that way about him. (he can be too damm charming at times)

I really thought long and hard about it, and really decided

my life is so much better now, than it was. I can't EVER

go back to that...

rambling again....

im really glad for you too, , that you found your

self a " good man " !!!!

nancy

[Guest guest]

, you should be proud of yourself. You're doing great, and

> you've made it through. This phase is the best part...finding

> yourself. You can do it! I have faith!

>

>

Thank you so much, ...

yea, i think (hope,pray) that the worst of

it is behind me....tho, lately, so much shit

has gone wrong, i keep wondering, WHEN is it gonna

get better...During this past christmas, he emailed

me this letter, and told me he still loved me and

bla bla bla....and it really affected me...it gave

my heart alittle leap, a good leap...and then the

next day, he was a totally shit again(i think he

was drunk when he wrote it, cause it came around 1AM,

so im pretty sure of that)..SO, after that,

which im kind of glad happen, I know now, that he is

never gonna change, and that we will not ever be back

together. I was very upset with myself, for even thinking

that way about him. (he can be too damm charming at times)

I really thought long and hard about it, and really decided

my life is so much better now, than it was. I can't EVER

go back to that...

rambling again....

im really glad for you too, , that you found your

self a " good man " !!!!

nancy

[Guest guest]

, you are worth way more than he ever gave you credit for. So

> are the other ladies on this list who've been through this crap.

All

> of you deserve so much better than this and I'm glad some of you

have

> found it.

>

> (((((Hugs to everyone))))))

>

> Tina

Thank you so much Tina...

yep, my ex was just like that...he would have

his workers over to the house sometimes, for ME

to make them lunch (he owns his own construction

business)..and they would be friendly and say " hi "

or " thank you for lunch " and when he would come home

from work, he'd bitch up and down about how i was

flirting with his workers and that i was probably

screwing with them on the side...AAAHHH!!! that would

piss me off soooo much...it got to the point, when he

would bring some one over, i wouldn't say one word...

they probably thought i was a bitch. But i had to do

that, just to keep some kind of peace...i really hated

it...Cause im a shy but friendly person...

oh well...

i hope your sister is happy now finally!

nancy

[Guest guest]

>>>>>>>

Irony: the Flylady list is going on and on right now about the rejuvenating

powers of a clean home and a date night, and how they will solve your

marriage woes.

<<<<<<

Clean House: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Date Night: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Definitely Delusional.

Penny

[Guest guest]

Date night?

Is that the one night in a blue moon when you get your kids to bed at a

decent hour and they actually sleep where you and your husband can clean the

house up just enough where the authorities don't condemn it and you talk

about when you had a sex life?

Sorry.

Couldn't resist.

Georga

RE: Re: Worst Ex-Husband Award Is Now Accepting

Candidates

> >>>>>>>

> Irony: the Flylady list is going on and on right now about the

rejuvenating

> powers of a clean home and a date night, and how they will solve your

> marriage woes.

> <<<<<<

>

> Clean House: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>

> Date Night: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>

> Definitely Delusional.

>

> Penny

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

A sex what?? lol

Libby

> Date night?

> Is that the one night in a blue moon when you get your kids to bed

at a

> decent hour and they actually sleep where you and your husband can

clean the

> house up just enough where the authorities don't condemn it and you

talk

> about when you had a sex life?

>

> Sorry.

> Couldn't resist.

>

> Georga

> RE: Re: Worst Ex-Husband Award Is Now

Accepting

> Candidates

>

>

> > >>>>>>>

> > Irony: the Flylady list is going on and on right now about the

> rejuvenating

> > powers of a clean home and a date night, and how they will solve

your

> > marriage woes.

> > <<<<<<

> >

> > Clean House: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

> >

> > Date Night:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

> >

> > Definitely Delusional.

> >

> > Penny

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

[Guest guest]

That thing that got us our children in the first place.

Georga

RE: Re: Worst Ex-Husband Award Is Now

> Accepting

> > Candidates

> >

> >

> > > >>>>>>>

> > > Irony: the Flylady list is going on and on right now about the

> > rejuvenating

> > > powers of a clean home and a date night, and how they will solve

> your

> > > marriage woes.

> > > <<<<<<

> > >

> > > Clean House: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

> > >

> > > Date Night:

> HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

> > >

> > > Definitely Delusional.

> > >

> > > Penny

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

[Guest guest]

LOL hmmm youngest is 5, yeah thats about right. (just kidding, or am

i)

> > > Date night?

> > > Is that the one night in a blue moon when you get your kids to

bed

> > at a

> > > decent hour and they actually sleep where you and your husband

can

> > clean the

> > > house up just enough where the authorities don't condemn it and

you

> > talk

> > > about when you had a sex life?

> > >

> > > Sorry.

> > > Couldn't resist.

> > >

> > > Georga

> > > RE: Re: Worst Ex-Husband Award Is

Now

> > Accepting

> > > Candidates

> > >

> > >

> > > > >>>>>>>

> > > > Irony: the Flylady list is going on and on right now about

the

> > > rejuvenating

> > > > powers of a clean home and a date night, and how they will

solve

> > your

> > > > marriage woes.

> > > > <<<<<<

> > > >

> > > > Clean House: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

> > > >

> > > > Date Night:

> > HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

> > > >

> > > > Definitely Delusional.

> > > >

> > > > Penny

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

LOL hmmm youngest is 5, yeah thats about right. (just kidding, or am

i)

> > > Date night?

> > > Is that the one night in a blue moon when you get your kids to

bed

> > at a

> > > decent hour and they actually sleep where you and your husband

can

> > clean the

> > > house up just enough where the authorities don't condemn it and

you

> > talk

> > > about when you had a sex life?

> > >

> > > Sorry.

> > > Couldn't resist.

> > >

> > > Georga

> > > RE: Re: Worst Ex-Husband Award Is

Now

> > Accepting

> > > Candidates

> > >

> > >

> > > > >>>>>>>

> > > > Irony: the Flylady list is going on and on right now about

the

> > > rejuvenating

> > > > powers of a clean home and a date night, and how they will

solve

> > your

> > > > marriage woes.

> > > > <<<<<<

> > > >

> > > > Clean House: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

> > > >

> > > > Date Night:

> > HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

> > > >

> > > > Definitely Delusional.

> > > >

> > > > Penny

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

[Guest guest]

>But i had to do

> that, just to keep some kind of peace...i really hated

> it...Cause im a shy but friendly person...

> oh well...

I'm glad you're out of that situation now, . You certainly

deserve better. All husbands can be more like children than grown men

some days but when you're having to jump through hoops 24/7 it's just

not worth it.

> i hope your sister is happy now finally!

She's doing much better. Some permanent scarring for her oldest

son. I think he's bi-polar (like his father) and like his father,

refusing to be diagnosed or take meds. Instead he's self-medicating.

He's 18 almost 19 now. The situation certainly isn't all sunshine

and roses but I don't worry about getting a call from the police

anymore asking me to come identify her body. It's progress...slow but

continuing progres.

Tina

[Guest guest]

>But i had to do

> that, just to keep some kind of peace...i really hated

> it...Cause im a shy but friendly person...

> oh well...

I'm glad you're out of that situation now, . You certainly

deserve better. All husbands can be more like children than grown men

some days but when you're having to jump through hoops 24/7 it's just

not worth it.

> i hope your sister is happy now finally!

She's doing much better. Some permanent scarring for her oldest

son. I think he's bi-polar (like his father) and like his father,

refusing to be diagnosed or take meds. Instead he's self-medicating.

He's 18 almost 19 now. The situation certainly isn't all sunshine

and roses but I don't worry about getting a call from the police

anymore asking me to come identify her body. It's progress...slow but

continuing progres.

Tina