I CAN RELATE.....RE: 10 things NEVER say to someone with MS!

[Guest guest]

I have an Aunt who calls me almost every day, and if I have the least amount of cheerfulness in the tone of my voice she ALWAYS says, “oh you must feel all better now, you sound good”! she has no idea how much pain I am in, and I’m not the type to sound like I am in pain, so she just figures everything is okay. So I finally told her if I didn’t answer the phone it was because I hurt too bad to talk that day. Then she leaves long voice mail messages telling me she wished I’d pick up. OR……….she will call back 2 or 3 times hoping I will think it as an emergency because that is code for incoming calls IF it IS an emergency. Then I know to pick up the 2nd time. I’ve done that a couple times with her thinking she was in trouble, only to have her ask me a question about a cat, or her neighbors, but never a real emergency that couldn’t wait. She is 83 yrs old, and I’m her only blood relative in the area, so I worry about her, and I hate that I can’t always be here for her. I have certain times of the day when I am busy taking care of the MSonster, and I’ve tried to tell her for years that I’m pretty ill, but I don’t think she wants to hear that. So I relate with the number 1, because when she comes to visit she tells me I look good, when I think I look like death warmed over most of the times. Lol…, I’ve had the number 6, 5, and 2 said to me too. LHugs to all, Jackie -----Original Message-----From: MSersLife [mailto:MSersLife ] On Behalf Of giwkhdSent: Wednesday, July 27, 2011 8:20 PMTo: MSersLife Subject: 10 things NEVER say to someone with MS! 10 THINGS YOU (DO NOT) SAY TO SOMEONE WHO HAS MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS* 10. MUST BE NICE TO SLEEP ALL DAY9. YOU'RE LUCKY YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK8. I CAN RELATE...7. JUST TAKE SOMETHING6. JUST TRY HARDER5. JUST BE POSITIVE4. YOU JUST WANT ATTENTION3. IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD2. IT COULD BE WORSE1. BUT YOU LOOK (GOOD), EXPECT dirty looks with this! It... ------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

That's a tricky place to be in, Jackie. I don't envy you. To be the only source to this 83year old aunt has got to be overwhelming in many ways. As you say, you are the onlyblood relative AND you live nearby. Who all are in the family? Can you try calling theother relatives and ask them to please call her on a daily basis? Maybe that would put a bit less stress on you? Perhaps too, if relatives know your condition, and understand yourpain, they could attempt to convey that to your aunt also.Just my 2 cents whatever it's worth!I love you Jackie, good luck on this my friend,KateTo: MSersLife Sent: Monday, August 1, 2011 2:58 AMSubject: I CAN RELATE.....RE: 10 things NEVER say to someone with MS!

I have an Aunt who calls me almost every day, and if I have the least amount of cheerfulness in the tone of my voice she ALWAYS says, “oh you must feel all better now, you sound goodâ€! she has no idea how much pain I am in, and I’m not the type to sound like I am in pain, so she just figures everything is okay. So I finally told her if I didn’t answer the phone it was because I hurt too bad to talk that day. Then she leaves long voice mail messages telling me she wished I’d pick up. OR……….she will call back 2 or 3 times hoping I will think it as an emergency because that is code for incoming calls IF it IS an emergency. Then I know to pick up the 2nd time. I’ve done that a couple times with her thinking she was in trouble, only to have her ask me a question about a cat, or her neighbors, but never a real

emergency that couldn’t wait. She is 83 yrs old, and I’m her only blood relative in the area, so I worry about her, and I hate that I can’t always be here for her. I have certain times of the day when I am busy taking care of the MSonster, and I’ve tried to tell her for years that I’m pretty ill, but I don’t think she wants to hear that. So I relate with the number 1, because when she comes to visit she tells me I look good, when I think I look like death warmed over most of the times. Lol…, I’ve had the number 6, 5, and 2 said to me too. LHugs to all, Jackie -----Original

Message-----From: MSersLife [mailto:MSersLife ] On Behalf Of giwkhdSent: Wednesday, July 27, 2011 8:20 PMTo: MSersLife Subject: 10 things NEVER say to someone with MS! 10 THINGS YOU (DO NOT) SAY TO SOMEONE WHO HAS MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS* 10. MUST BE NICE TO SLEEP ALL DAY9. YOU'RE LUCKY YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK8. I CAN RELATE...7. JUST TAKE SOMETHING6. JUST TRY HARDER5. JUST BE POSITIVE4. YOU JUST WANT ATTENTION3. IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD2. IT COULD BE WORSE1. BUT YOU LOOK (GOOD), EXPECT dirty looks with this! It... ------------------------------------

[Guest guest]

Hi Kate,. My daughter lives about an hour away and she has gotten calls from her, but now she doesn’t pick up because she can’t deal with her problems and listen when she has a 2 yr old that needs constant attention. My aunt is lonely, and I feel bad for her and wish I was able to do more for her. There are no other relatives other than me and Tina [my daughter] she feels close to that she would talk about her stuff with. Her brother lives up in Washington and his kids are up there too, and she gets together with them once in a while. But she feels the closest to me as she and I have had that type of relationship, but she just hasn’t accepted that things have changed on my end, even if I try to explain it to her. I think she’s getting a little senile too, so I take that into consideration. The only other relatives that I interact with on a limited basis is Steve’s family, and I’ve since quit talking to them about my health issues. It’s not that they don’t care, but his family only responds positively if there is an emergency. They have their health issues too, and they don’t talk openly about them. Everyone just acts like everything is hunky dory! ARGHHHHHHHHHH!!! Thanks for everyone here, and YOU trying to help Kate! Love and hugs, Jackie From: MSersLife [mailto:MSersLife ] On Behalf Of Kate RothschildSent: Monday, August 01, 2011 6:32 AMTo: MSersLife Subject: Re: I CAN RELATE.....RE: 10 things NEVER say to someone with MS! That's a tricky place to be in, Jackie. I don't envy you. To be the only source to this 83year old aunt has got to be overwhelming in many ways. As you say, you are the onlyblood relative AND you live nearby. Who all are in the family? Can you try calling theother relatives and ask them to please call her on a daily basis? Maybe that would put a bit less stress on you? Perhaps too, if relatives know your condition, and understand yourpain, they could attempt to convey that to your aunt also.Just my 2 cents whatever it's worth!I love you Jackie, good luck on this my friend,Kate To: MSersLife Sent: Monday, August 1, 2011 2:58 AMSubject: I CAN RELATE.....RE: 10 things NEVER say to someone with MS! I have an Aunt who calls me almost every day, and if I have the least amount of cheerfulness in the tone of my voice she ALWAYS says, “oh you must feel all better now, you sound goodâ€! she has no idea how much pain I am in, and I’m not the type to sound like I am in pain, so she just figures everything is okay. So I finally told her if I didn’t answer the phone it was because I hurt too bad to talk that day. Then she leaves long voice mail messages telling me she wished I’d pick up. OR……….she will call back 2 or 3 times hoping I will think it as an emergency because that is code for incoming calls IF it IS an emergency. Then I know to pick up the 2nd time. I’ve done that a couple times with her thinking she was in trouble, only to have her ask me a question about a cat, or her neighbors, but never a real emergency that couldn’t wait. She is 83 yrs old, and I’m her only blood relative in the area, so I worry about her, and I hate that I can’t always be here for her. I have certain times of the day when I am busy taking care of the MSonster, and I’ve tried to tell her for years that I’m pretty ill, but I don’t think she wants to hear that. So I relate with the number 1, because when she comes to visit she tells me I look good, when I think I look like death warmed over most of the times. Lol…, I’ve had the number 6, 5, and 2 said to me too. LHugs to all, Jackie -----Original Message-----From: MSersLife [mailto:MSersLife ] On Behalf Of giwkhdSent: Wednesday, July 27, 2011 8:20 PMTo: MSersLife Subject: 10 things NEVER say to someone with MS! 10 THINGS YOU (DO NOT) SAY TO SOMEONE WHO HAS MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS*10. MUST BE NICE TO SLEEP ALL DAY9. YOU'RE LUCKY YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORK8. I CAN RELATE...7. JUST TAKE SOMETHING6. JUST TRY HARDER5. JUST BE POSITIVE4. YOU JUST WANT ATTENTION3. IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD2. IT COULD BE WORSE1. BUT YOU LOOK (GOOD), EXPECT dirty looks with this! It... ------------------------------------