Re: EDS Dating

[Guest guest]

Hi Crystal

I know what you mean. My boyfriend broke up with me over a month

ago and I was debating trying to find someone new but I dont get to

go out much and am definitly not into the bar scene for many

reasons. If you meet someone on one of those 'dating' sites its

always nerve wracking as to when to tell someone you have EDS. Its

not something you want to spring on them right away but also dont

want to hide it from them either!! EDS definitly puts another

hardship in the horrors of dating!

Stacey

[Guest guest]

Crystal,

Don't worry OK. I had my VERY first boyfriend at age 21 and for the

last 8+ years I have been living with my partner (a different man)as

if we are married (he doesn't really believe in marriage but I am

talking him around into a small wedding or celebrant service). They

are out there, he does NOT have EDS and I didn't know I had it either

although he knew I was accident prone and had my knee issues and

about 3 weeks after meeting him I wrecked my shoulder for life and he

has stuck with me through allof this and it has been a lot. He is not

the carer type really but he has always looked after me especially

after surgery where he slept on the floor beside the bed for 2 weeks

incase I needed him after knee surgery but was to scared to slep in

the bed in case he accidentally bumped my knee or operation site. He

is used to me waking him up in the middle of the night to tell him I

have called an ambulance to take me to hospital and we have a system

now where he just goes back to sleep and I head off and then I wake

him again when I get home or call him if he is at work. His work is

important to us (as he is the main money maker) and he has CFS so I

can't keep waking him up and disturbing his sleep or he is wiped out

for over a week after. So I just call him either fromt he ER or when

I get home depending on what is going on and if I am in the ER during

the dsay he will pick me up after work etc.

You will meet a nice guy (I am 33 now we met when I was 24 and he is

now 44 and we met when he was 35) I prefer older guys as guys my age

are NOT for me as I do NOT drink or smoke and don't like big crowds

etc so don't go to bars etc. We met in the ski fields (I used to work

as a ski lift operator and he was a ski and snowboard instructor)and

hit it off and after the season finished I packed up and moved up

here to be with him (9hrs away from my home and family) and 2 states

away. We have a lot in common we both don't drink or smoke prefer

staying home and watching TV or movies or going out to dinner with

friends. He is ex-army and is a great cook and is wonderful to me (he

has fully renovated our home since we shifted in and made extra

little modification to make it easier on me (he even put in a deep

long spa bath in the bathroom and set a TV in the wall of the

bathroom at the end of the tub as well as putting in a DVD player and

amplifier so that I can use the tub for pain relief (which I do A

LOT), the TV and DVD just help the time goe faster and more enjoyable

our friends laugh when they see it but it is PERFECT...

he paied for 1/2 of my new car as he didn't like y old car he thought

it was too dangerous and i have to have something that is easy to get

into and out of and is easy to drive (I have modidfactions too) and

an automatic with power steering and we looked about and decided to

get a Honda CRV (back in 2000) and he paid for 1/2 of it but has

always said it is MY car.

PLEASE don't give up. We have decided not to have kids but that is

our personal choice as Ihave other familial heath issues as well (I

have a VERY strong family history of Cancer and Autoimmune diseases

as well as the EDS and allergies, asthma and eczema and so for us

kids are something we don not think it is fair to bring into the

world with all of the possible medical issues they could have and

becasue I dislocated and damaged my pelvis when I was 12 and was told

I would have trouble with pregnancy and would have to have a C

section to give birth so we talked about it and decided to stick with

the fur babies instead (we have a 19 month old dog (Norwegian

Elkhound Girl Dog called " Boo " ) and a little boy bunny rabbit

(called " Stew " ) who turned up on our front lawn about 3 weeks

ago and we adopted him after looking for him parents to no avail.

Youn are still young and you will find your perfect man one day

probably in the most unlikely place (I mean I went to work in the

snow and came home with a defacto husband (common law husband))and he

will NOT care if you have EDS or not.

Good Luck and if you want to set up an EDS singles site there are

free serves about were you can get a bulliten board and see if it

takes off, ask Jill for some pointers and if she would like to give

it her OK and try it, you never know what will happen. but also try

going to local support groups (if you have them) and places like the

conference (I believe Barb met her husband at an EDS conference

(someone correct me if I am wrong PLEASE)and they both have EDS).

Good Lucknad have an open mind and heart OK, you NEVER know where mr

right could be.

Sharon

> I know this sounds stupid but i was just thinking today we need a

EDS

> dating website or just one where single people with EDS can hang

out

> an meet. Because I'm 19 and have never had a boyfriend and here i

am

> gonna be 20 this year and would love to start my own family soon.

I'd

> like to be able to move out just to feel a little more independent.

> Living at home my mom is pretty good at being over protectinve and

> not letting me do much. i have tried other sites but when I mention

> EDS they think I'm a freak plus most of them are jokes anyway. i

feel

> it would be nice to meet a man with EDS we would understand

eachother

> and be real supportive & understanding to eachother. I know Now

that

> I'm graduated I'm not able to get out much so my chances of meeting

> anyone are very slim. Anyway it was just a thought I had and

thought

> I'd bring it up. Feel free to email me and tell me I'm nuts hehe.

> Crystal