Joke: Door Mats and other things

[Guest guest]

Joke: Door Mats and other things

 

 

 

THESE ARE ACTUAL DOOR MATS.

 

  

   

   

   

   

 

Drinking and Driving

I would just like to share an experience with you and it has to do with drinking and driving.On Saturday night I was out for a few drinks with some friends and had way too many Jack s. Knowing full well I was wasted, I did something I've never done before. I took a bus home. I arrived home safely and without incident which was a real surprise, since I had never driven a bus before!

 

Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives... 

   1.  The later you are, the more excited your Dogs are to see you.     

   2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another Dog's name.     

   3. Dogs like it if you  leave a lot of things on the floor.     

   4.. A Dog's Parents never visit.     

   5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.    

   6. You never have to wait for a Dog; they are ready to go 24 hours a day.    

 

   7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.     

   8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.     

   9. A Dog will not wake you up at night to ask...  " If I died, would you get another Dog? "   

   

   10. If a Dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.   

  

   11. A Dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.    

 

   12. If a Dog smells another Dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.  

   

   13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck. 

 

 And last, but not least:   

14. If a Dog leaves, it won't take over half of your stuff.  

To test this theory:  Lock your Wife and your Dog in the garage for an hour. Then open it and see who's happy to see you.

 

INTERESTING OBSERVATION

1. The sport of choice for the urban poor is BASKETBALL.

2 The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is BOWLING.

3 The sport of choice for front-line workers is FOOTBALL.

4 The sport of choice for supervisors is BASEBALL.

5 The sport of choice for middle management is TENNIS.

And.... 

6 The sport of choice for corporate executives and officers is GOLF.

 

THE AMAZING CONCLUSION:

The higher you go in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become.

There must be a ton of people in Washington playing marbles!